I love my bfrnd lot , he is short tempered , whatever he says i agree with it b

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   ramyaprithviposted 12 years ago

   I love my bfrnd lot , he is short tempered ,  whatever he says i agree with it but sometimes it hurt
   
   me lot , but i control everything for him becoz i dnt want to lose him , what makes a man happy with a relationship, what i can do for him to keep him happy , how can i change him?

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   pisean282311posted 12 years ago

   pardon me to say but you are committing mistake like many woman who i come across have...many woman take every vice of her man with fear of not rocking the boat...i dont call this right way because doing that one does boast man's ego but doesnot turn into true relationship...just answer urself ..if you find something if person who you love which might harm him/her in long run ...would u try to put that point in front of him/her or conceal truth just to be in good books??...his short temper might ruin his life in long run..if u truely love him do make him realize that...i myself was short tempered but with little effort could control it..you cant change him..no one can change anyone unless person himself realizes that..you can just make him realize that..made hub on anger ...here it is ..http://hubpages.com/hub/Gussa

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   hublimposted 12 years ago

   It sounds like you are afraid of your boyfriend; this is not the way to a healthy relationship. You should try to understand where he is coming from but if you have a different point of view you should feel free to air that opinion without fear.
   
   From the tone of your question you appear to be unhappy, why would you want to be in a relationship which makes you unhappy? At no point do you mention your own happiness which should be paramount. Your boyfriend may be a wonderful man but is he really the right person for you if you are afraid to challenge what he says and seem unhappy in the relationship?
   
   I do not believe you should try to change him, but understand him instead. You should also try to make him understand you. I believe if you make yourself happy first, then your partners happiness will follow.

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   SoundAdviceposted 12 years ago

   Dear ramyaprithvi, You are experiencing what many partners (both men and women but mostly women) must have experienced in a relationship. The problem here is that you "love" him too much to lose him. And something makes me feel that he knows that too and might be using it for his own benefit.
   
   Under the influence of the fear of losing him you bear all his bad habits too (along with the good ones he have) feeling that this is what a relationship is about, accepting the good with the bad.
   
   But here's the thing, if he loves you as much as you do, he should take steps to overcome some of his bad habits. This way he will be showing his care for you. If he does not then it certainly means that he is not in love with you the way you are.
   
   Now it is up to you to decide that are you ready to be with a man who is not that "into" you and bear his anger and bad temper? If he is not into you, nothing you do will be good enough to earn his praise. But if he really loves you he will not exactly change but atleast realize your anguish and show signs of concern and care. Try talking to him one on one (politely and maturely), it will knock some sense into him if he cares for you.
   
   Everyone deserves good in their life. He is not the only man on earth and this is not the end of the world. Make your decisions wisely. we all have only one chance at life, should we really spend it (trying in vain) on those who don't really care for us? If you accept him for who he is he should do the same.
   
   I hope things turn out to be just right for you. Best of Luck.

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   fireball*posted 12 years ago

   Feelings between a couple should be mutual,and if your bf cares and loves you,he will control himself instead you agreeing with him all the time.Never try to change him because it will make the situation worst.Your bf might put more distance from you.If he loves you then,he will listen to you,tell him how you feel about him,in a gentle way.And if he reacted and lost his temper,its up t you but one thing think a hundred times before you give all to this guy.
   Love is sharing and understanding,but everything has a limit...

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   Custompoetposted 12 years ago

   I learned a long time ago, the hard way ,I might add, that you cannot change a man. He is who he is & that is that! If you are unhappy, the best thing to do is either change your behavior to make you happy(stand up for yourself) or leave. I used to be in an abusive marriage & all I kept telling myself was that if I can just change or change him, then everything would be fine. People are who they are. A cruel but true fact of life. Being that he is not abusive(I hope), do what makes you happy because what purpose does it serve for you to be miserable just to keep him happy?    Good luck to you & GOD Bless!!

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