I am engaged to a boy who is short tempered..But i feel he loves me and i love him too..But i am
scared of his anger and because of this there are several questions which come to my mind like will he hit me later or will he respect my family..will he give me enough space etc..I am just too scared ..His parents are also little rough ..Not the ones to love to treat you as their daughter.They stay away from their son..I feel he loves me a lott and desperately wants to get married to me..But the feary thoughts are killing me..Somehow i m not being able to trust him..He promises to control his anger but i am just not able to trust him.Dnt want to leave him but not being able to move ahead 2.
Hmmm tough chemistry here...but let me list you some options you can go for:
1) Talk to you parents about the problem in detail and tell them how you feel about it and your future concerns. I think that parents can resolve the problem much better since they have passed through a life's experience. May be they talk to your fiance about this or his parents.
2) Try to bring a change in yourself, yes i mean learn to compromise and deal with anger. I've seen many a situations where staying calm has brought a much better change. Let's say if you fear he'll beat you in his temper you can stay calm and smile or hug him instantly whenever he gets a bout of anger. Learn to handle him with care, love and your intelligence. You have to learn how to face him whenever he gets angry with you. But most important of all NEVER EVER do anything that makes him fly into rage.
3) If both of above options are not your type then it's recommended that you end this relationship forever (end it and never turn back!)
I hope it is of help to you, good luck to you!
Quick tempered tells me they either having reach maturity as of yet and they are definite threat. Males often don't grow up like females. They'll expected to be tough and so they usual a number of characteristics to survive or endure the environment. One of those characteristics is being tough. Toughness usually means you can't afford to show any weakness. Once a male embraces this concept then they carry it around with them, it becomes a part of them. Even without meaning to they can strikeout or lashout because they are now tough. It's not realistic to think you can control anger, oh you might get away with 4 or 5 times but there will come a point when hand is going to come up and it's going to heard someone. They haven't reached a point in their life where they can say to themselves and believe it that they don't have to live this way.
It's life, but keep being afraid because that just might keep you safe to a certain degree.
Trust your intuition. You are afraid of his anger, dispite him promising to keep it under control, it's not the right time to agree to marry him. If you decide to stay with him only time will tell if he's capable of treating you right. Just because he loves you it doesn't mean he's the right man for you. You don't want to end up in a domestic voilence situation.
You won't want to hear this, but walk away from him right now before you get any more entangled with him. You can do better than this. There are warning signs all over the place, and you are picking up on them. If things are bad now, they will be ten times worse if you marry him. Remember, he is on his best behavior now even though it's not very good. Do yourself a huge favor and leave him. Move on. You will find someone you don't have to fear, someone who will treat you right.
You shouldn't make any decisions through fear as they will only bring on more fear.... unless that is what you want in your relationship.
If I were you, I would ask myself the following...
"What lives within me that I would want to settle with someone who is so angry that I am afraid of this person. What do I get out of this situation that I am mistaking what I am receiving from this as love? I am getting all of the warning signs as to what kind of relationship this would be (how you do something is how you do everything), yet I choose to ignore them and stay with him, cutting myself off from the opportunity of allowing someone in my life who would truly treat me in a way that would support and nourish me. What is it within me that would deny myself that kind of loving experience?"
That is what I would be asking myself if I were you, because once you get the answer to that, you will know what to do, be able to move forward without a shred of doubt and you won't repeat the same thing with another person ever again.
"A relationship without trust, is dead" -W. K. Hayes...Yes, I'm quoting myself on this. If you have a fear of him becoming violent then you definitely need to call it quits. A man that loves you will make you feel more comfortable and at ease than anyone else can. That is the kind of person you want in your life but having fears about the person you are with hurting you...get out now. Just today, a woman was shot to death by her husband because she had threatened to leave him. her sister was also shot...protect yourself and your family in the decisions you make and stick to the nice nerdy guys that will treat you right and won't bring harm to you or your family.
by Kusha Soni 2 years ago
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