Why can't my mom let me do what I want?

1. 59

   sexydebieposted 15 years ago

   Why can't my mom let me do what I want?
   
   I am 19 years old and am still being treated like I am 13 years old. I do not have my license because "I am not allowed"/ "am terrible". I get yelled at for not doing my "chores". I am still constantly reminded to clean my room even though i have no time after my 2 jobs. I get yelled at for not "doing my homework." I am not allowed to have a boyfriend because "it is a pointless" and I have to stay at home at all times because I do not have a license. i also am not allowed to spend my money any way I want to (after I pay for rent, bills, and gas $). So my

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2. 61

   wytegarillazposted 15 years ago

   Things must be diferent there , I was married at 18 ,had my first baby at 19, now I have 3 girls who were independent at 18 .
   Have you thought of moving out ?

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3. 63

   estranged911posted 15 years ago

   Stand up for your self.. you have a right to do so.. after all you are the one who is paying the bills.. you can always move out (temporarily) To remind them that you are independent and no more your mama's girl. Let them realise that you can take care of yourself and that you are legally old enough to make your own decisions... you are being bullied by your mom.. wake up...

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4. 96

   Alison Grahamposted 15 years ago

   I think you and your Mom should have a good talk about your feelings.  Try to make a little card checklist with the things you want to discuss as points to remind you.  Tell her that you would like to see things from her point of view, try to stay calm and look at things from both sides.  Make time to sit down calmly and try to resolve some of these issues - maybe this will start getting your family to treat you like an adult. For example with the point about cleaning your room, does your mom get mad because she has two jobs too and she is exhausted - or is she home all day?  If you are paying out a lot of money to live there, you have a right to be heard and your views treated with respect.  Have you considered moving out and being independent, perhaps sharing with a friend?  At 19, 'not allowed' is not allowed as a reason for your family stopping you from doing things.

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5. 80

   Cumbesefposted 15 years ago

   This seems rather easy to me:  You are 19, but unhappy that you are being treated as if you were 13.  At 19, you are legally able to move out.  There you have it.
   
   If "your room" is in "her house" then she sets the rules.  If you are already paying rent, then paying rent for your own place should not be that difficult.  You could find a place and share with roommates to cut expenses if you cannot afford a place by your self. 
   
   The bottom line at any age - if you want to be treated like an adult, make your own rules and live the way you want - find the door and go through it.

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6. 60

   MickSposted 15 years ago

   It's probably a waste of time trying to talk to your mum.
   I don't know about the Philippines, but in the UK, you would be allowed to leave home and get your own place.
   You may get a better result than what you have at the moment by moving out; never allow anyone to walk over you, even your parents and other family.

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