I have been married to my husband for 8 years now. He has a daughter age 14 who he had only...
spend a few years with in the beging. When we met he had signed adoption papers and esured me this child would not be a part of our lives do to his ex-wife. We have since had 2 children ages 4 and 7. Recently the ex-wife came to town and out of the blue called and asked if he would like to meet her. Of course he did. They spend a couple weeks together. At the beging he asured me that he was not her dad and only her father. He explained that he has not been there and he would never be dad. My heart was broken, i was crying everyday feeling how could he do this to us. When the child left to go
Well..maybe it's hard for you but...you can start open your heart. Nothing's wrong to open up relation with her (daughter)..don't look on the past...
face what is now reality...
there is EX-WIFE ....but
for sure there is NO EX-DAUGHTER
so..what i mean here is you can't stop the relation between father and the daughter..it's natural process..let them...
let the time answer....it's good to grow love ....than hates...
i've been married also for 8 years. i had 1 son 6 years old and daughter 4,5 years old. My husband had a Son from her ex Girlfriend..
but my relation with my step son is ok...he's 19 years old now. since he's 13 years old he always spend holidays with us..come from Germany to my country (south east Asia)..and he loves my children...
what i want to tell you is..it would be really nice feeling if you can do that..
It seems to me that this is all about you and what you want, do you not care about how your husband feels, words are one thing, the reality of being a natural parent another. If you were separated from your natural children, would you not want to see them when the opportunity arose, your husband is just wants to ensure that his offspring is healthy and growing up well, getting a good education.
I guess I'm not understanding why it's a bad thing that he's finally being involved with his daughter. Personally, when I married my husband I understood that his four kids from two previous marriages were part of the package...they don't live with him and his three daughters are grown, but they are nonetheless his kids. He understood the same about my son from a previous marriage. I don't know that I would have felt comfortable marrying him if he were willing to cut them out of his life for any reason...even their feelings aside, what would assure me that he wouldn't just abandon the kids we have together if he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore?
It sounds like he's finally realizing that cutting your own child out of your life for any reason is pretty much invariably a mistake, and he wants to start to get to know her while he has the chance. Why should this be a negative thing for you or the family the two of you have together? As I see it, my husband's kids are my family too, and my life and the lives of my children are greatly enriched by having them in it, no matter how small or large of a role they play. I can imagine that my husband would have loved to have never had to have anything to do with his daughters' mother after they divorced, but he never would have dreamed of giving up his children because of his feelings about their mother...a decision I applaud and agree with wholeheartedly, because I also know that nothing would ever be able to make me give up my son, certainly not any issues I may have had with his father.
Wow!...I can't believe that you are living and breathing selfishness. Unfortunately, you are not alone. There are many individuals that wish that their husband would not have a relationship with their own children from previous relationships. Marriages may not last forever, but family is always family. Best Wishes in your relationship.
by tia41 7 years ago
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Have you experienced a long distance relationship? What did you do to make it last?
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