Would you rather date a widow/widower, a divorcee, or someone who had never been married?
I asked a question "Would you rather be a widow/widower or a divorcee?" And dashingscorpio suggested that it would be interesting to know if one would rather date a widow/widower or a divorcee. I added someone who had never been married, as I dated one who had never been married at 50.
It really doesn't matter to me as long as they are a Good Christian Woman. I would LOVE to find my Soulmate to spend the rest of my life with.
On the one hand, I would rather date someone who had never been married because so often a man who is divorced is still fixated on his ex. When he starts talking about himself and his ex as "we" and "us", you should run for your life. He might have treated his wife like dirt, betrayed her with other women, showed her scant respect, but the second she decides she's had enough and kicks him out, she becomes a paragon that no other woman can match. I have never dated a widower but I suspect it might be even more likely that you can never compare.
On the other hand, if he was single, I would wonder why he had never got married. There might be a genuine reason, or he could be a commitment phobic, a mysoginist, a control freak, an egomaniac. Or he could also be fixated on his ex.
So in the end, if I liked the guy, I would give him a chance but I'd be cautious - once bitten, as they say:)
Hi Mazzy, your analysis fits my experience. One guy who was divorced for 25 years still had his ex's photo on his wall. Although I am perfectly happy living on my own, if I have another soulmate out there, CALL ME! lol I wish you the best. Thanks
If I date ANYBODY, I'm going to be in deep doo-doo. My wife is a redhead with martial arts training.
Divorcee. A widow/widower has been in love and likely still is. Someone who has never been married lacks a certain level of maturity and understanding that comes with that committment. Someone who has been divorced understands what they want and perhaps more importantly what they don't. They know their priorities and what they value in a relatinship.
Thanks for your answer, fre2bme. My experience fits your view of someone who has never been married. As for divorcees and widows/widowers, the longer they are on their own comfortable and happy, the lesser the possibility of them getting remarried.
Someone was has been married has "maturity and understanding that comes with commitment", I agree - exept for those who are divorced precisely because they were too immature to honor and respect that commitment.
You want to know the raw truth?
At 50, I have , countless losses, far too many dissappointments.....I want someone who can relate, honor, acknowledge and encourage me to move onward in life. Yet someone who can be more than a memory......
If you are 50, and you have not ever been married...................THERE is a reason why....................Perhaps, you just want to make sure you get it right the first time........which excludes me.
Perhaps, no one ever considered you as marriage material.
Sorry, no disrepect intended................BUT those hairs on the back of my neck........they do stand.'
If, I in my 50's............ever desire to marry again..............I sure as hey, would not want to live in the shadow of another woman.
It is not about who I would rather " date " ( passing time ), but what I might consider before a re- or 2nd marriage.
a woman. past to me really do not matter just how she treat me and me her.
I think It would not matter. What matters is that the person makes you happy and you are compatible. Sometimes we find that what we think we want or need is actually not the truth at all! ; )
I and my wife have had huge commitment to live and leave together. God bless every couple .
I've tried them all, and it really doesn't make any difference which you choose.
I am married for the 2nd time - we were both divorced . I am in love & if anything happened to my husband I don't think I would marry again
If I was too ever I am not sure if I would want to marry someone who wasn't experienced in aspects of life so it would most likely be out of the other 2 . It would come down to personality, honesty & having the same interests is what is the most important thing .
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