What do you do if your 13 year old girl is depressed and she does not listen to you?
GIve her some space, then break down in front of her. Allow her to comfort you. Then she'll get it.
Distract her with something and do not acknowledge that she is not feeling so great. Put on some bubbly music and sing along, get some activity going and make sure that she is watching you and will get involved ( don't keep calling her to join in ). Take her to some place she like to be in!
I know that what Daniel says works, but it would actually put some ideas into her head that may not be great for her in the long run!
Don't advice her unless she allows you. If she wants to talk, listen to her and show that you care. Just tell her that you are always there if she wants to talk about any trouble she is facing.Let her take some time and tell you why she is depressed.
Meanwhile, take the family out to some movie or any place where she can enjoy herself. While she is around , try talking to some other person your own story - anything that you were depressed about, and how you did overcome it, making sure that your daughter is hearing the conversation. Call her friends/ relatives or throw a surprise party and make sure she is involved. She may refuse to join initially, but will come around soon.. All the best !
I would say give her space but sneak in comments to build up self esteem. Let her meet some new people. A lot of girls get depressed when they don't have good friends to distract them or a guy that treats her right. Maybe let her have a sleep over with some girls, or treat her to a girls night out. A lot of this depends on why she is depressed though.
I have a 13 year old daughter diagnosed with depression. I think as parents today we need to realize that the pressure out there from peers and society are a lot stronger today. Society is telling them to get ahead of the game and grow up fast. Every where they turn nowadays the pressure is on from commercials, to games, to the age old peer pressure. I know at 13 hormones are starting to rage and she is just simply trying to sort out who she is. She is trying to make her own individual spot in such a huge place. As for her not listening to you well, I do not know any 13 year old who doesn't "know everything" already or who WANTS to be sitting with their parent talking of personal on goings and feelings let alone having alone time with the parental figure. Try finding someone who can relate to her on her level whether it be a psychiatrist, an aunt, a friend, maybe one of your friends. She will come out of this eventually she is just trying to sort some things out. All you need to do is let her know you are here for her, that you love her, and when she is ready to open up your willing to drop the world for her to sit there and listen and be non-judgmental (which is very hard to do). But sometimes the best thing a parent can do is listen and just say " I understand. It will be okay and we will get through this. I will help you we will do this together."
This is a tough situation. You need to confide with someone to be sure its not the normal teenage age rage. If its clinical depression, then it maybe beyond you,you may need proffesional help. If this is not the case, just be patient and make your teenager aware you are there for him/her. You may try and identify the pattern of this depression. This can help you understand what triggers the depression. In turn this can assist you in minimising the exposure to the triggers,and if neccesary eliminating them all together or seeking help from other people.
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