How do you comfort a friend who is depressed?

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  1. Darknlovely3436 profile image72
    Darknlovely3436posted 12 years ago

    How do you comfort a friend who is depressed?

    I often quote verses from the bible to him/her. "For you are my lamp, O Lord.the Lord shall enlighten my darkness,  -2 Samuel 22:29

  2. lejonkung profile image64
    lejonkungposted 12 years ago

    I´m not saying the bible thing wont work, but i would try with humor. If you are happy and let it show then it will spread out to others aswell. Life is to short to feel sad!

  3. Faceless39 profile image93
    Faceless39posted 12 years ago

    Bible verses won't get people laughing, which is the best medicine when someone's down.  I know I always feel better when a friend or family member makes me crack a smile despite my utter desire to remain depressed!  One genuine smile is all it takes.

  4. ladyjojo profile image60
    ladyjojoposted 12 years ago

    It depends on what kind of depression the person is going through. NO HUMOUR will take away the depression for long, what that person need is a divine spiritual touch from CHRIST. Comforting scriptures that helps satan to flee fast is Psalms 27, 91, 63, 121, 37 etc.

    Let him or her know that Jesus knows all him/her troubles , and there's not a friend like the lowly Jesus no not one, no not one. Tell him/her to pray and talk to him as friend to friend and he will hear them if only they can accept Him in their lives.

    For more advice you can contact me via


  5. FaithDream profile image79
    FaithDreamposted 12 years ago

    Depending on why they are depressed... did something happen, did they recieve bad news, etc.
    A good friend would listen to their friend. Be there for their friend. And try to lift their spirits. Sometimes a person's presence and a listening ear with a shoulder to cry on is the best way to comfort a friend. The Bible verses help only in such a way as it is not forced upon them. Sometimes it can have the opposite affect but it really depends on where they are in thier faith journey.

  6. baygirl33 profile image58
    baygirl33posted 12 years ago

    Allow him/her to talk,encourage them to cry,it's a great healer.Be a good listener.Take him/her for a walk by the ocean or even in the park.In other words be there. People need to feel validated when when things go bad for them.

  7. helmutbiscut profile image64
    helmutbiscutposted 12 years ago

    It depends on what kind of depression the friend has.  If it is a clinical depression, the friend may need professional intervention.  This intervention may or may not include professional counseling, medication, or hospitalization.  Of course, the friend would need to accept the help for this to be effective.  If they did not, then I would be as supportive as possible- listening, comforting, and just being there, knowing that the friend may or may not respond to my support. 

    I would offer a friend who was suffering from depression that had a less serious cause similar support- listening, comforting, and just being there.  I would also consider their personality and specific needs.  I think the most important thing is to never abandon a friend who is depressed.  All people are different, and we should adapt to meet them where they need us to be.

  8. AnnNoE profile image60
    AnnNoEposted 12 years ago

    It may depend on whether it is over something specific or a generalized depression. In both cases, the first thing is to be a good listener and friend. But don't be pushy, you may drive them away. If the depression persists, try pointing out how different they've become and that perhaps they should speak to someone about it. But, if that's the case, i've found they need to make that decision themselves.

  9. capricornrising profile image62
    capricornrisingposted 12 years ago

    The first thing is to let them know I'm there just to listen and dole out hugs. Sometimes that's all a troubled friend wants.

    If they seem to want to solve the problem, I behave the way I do when I teach: I help guide the troubled person to the answer, by asking leading questions, rather than telling them what to do. I frame my advice by asking things like, "how does that make you feel?" and "is it possible that such and such was a factor?" or "what do you think would happen if you addressed this?"

    It encourages the troubled friend to talk and to work things out for themselves. Sometimes, this is the best way for the solution to stick - he or she figures out the answer themselves, and don't feel judged.

    If they ask questions because they want my experience, I try to remember that they're looking for perspective, not that my experience is the only answer.

  10. Seek-n-Find profile image71
    Seek-n-Findposted 12 years ago

    One of the best skills I've learned is that of "Emotional Responding."  It helps the person to feel heard and their pain acknowledged but without getting stuck on focusing on it.  And it doesn't require that I understand what they are going through--just that I care.  For example, somebody told me today that she feels depressed and like giving up.  She went on to tell me all the things in her life that are hard.  The first think I said was, "I am so sorry that you are going through so much pain right now.  I acknowledge that this has been a difficult season for you and I want you to know I care."  Next, i acknowledged the good and positive things in her story to celebrate her. I said, "I know you said you feel like your have gone backwards in your life, but I admire the strength it's taken you to take risks and aim for your dreams.  You may not feel successful right now if you define success as material gain, but I believe you've been very successful!"  I then went on to name the various ways in which she has succeeded.  This made her feel encouraged and celebrated.  Sometimes people just want an ear to listen--other times they are asking for help.  I asked her if she was interested in some recommendations that I had that may help.  If she would have said no, I would just continue to love her.  But since she said yes, I was then able to offer to her what I've learned about the roots of depression and the power of the mind, etc.  Too much info. to include in this answer.  I asked her if I could pray with her and she said yes--I believe that helped a lot!  I gave her some practical first steps so that she was equipped and empowered to move towards healing.

  11. Taleb80 profile image79
    Taleb80posted 12 years ago

    1-Listening to him.
    2- Try to be near him/her as much as you can.
    3- Send him a written letter or card expressing your feelings (How much do you love him/her).
    4- Remind him/ her how many difficulties went & live is going.
    5- Help him as much as you can as he expect from you (Using the way s/he likes).
    6- Send him encouraging quotes, like "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." ~ Winston Churchill
    feel free to get some of the quotes from my hub "Encouraging Quotes"

  12. Eunice Stuhlhofer profile image59
    Eunice Stuhlhoferposted 12 years ago

    Like some have already said, it depends on the reasons or type of depression. But the bottom line of depression is that the person does not see the good side of life. So, it would be helpful just to walk carefully through with them, showing them why life is worth living.

    The greatest help anyone would need in a depressed state is to know that they are loved, valued and have a purpose to fulfill irrespective of circumstances. I would use the word of God to encourage them and share any relevant life experiences with them.

  13. NiaLee profile image60
    NiaLeeposted 12 years ago

    I love the verse quoting, though making you friend escape from his/her worries and do other things that are fun and beneficial will be the great thing.
    I will take a friend to see a movie, take a nice walk, cook a nice lunch, give a book, etc...

  14. anupma profile image68
    anupmaposted 12 years ago

    First try to find out the reason behind his depression, ask him to explain in detail. Then give my own suggestion and ideas........ Go with her for outing and try to console her that it is the name of life, it has both aspect, so enjoy both.

  15. engelfantasydream profile image62
    engelfantasydreamposted 12 years ago

    why is he/she depressed anyways???..well what i do if a friend of mine is depressed since i hate people being sad or crying..i comfort them via talking to them of my own blooppers i mean funny moments..sometimes it is a fictional funny moments too..untill she/he feel comfy about it and lighten up..and if she/he smile i will look better when you smile..don't be sad now ok??..and for sure they will just find themselves telling you why they are depressed even without asking it to them..and just listen to them..and after they tell you everything just tap their shoulder and hug them and give your thoughts about what they going will change a lot after they let it out what they are keeping inside ..and they will start to feel better in the being back to their normal selves don;t happened overnight..but it is a good try it..then go to ice cream shop or eat cake together whatever they favorite food or drinks hahaha..try it...and pray ok?? cos OUR LORD GOD is the source of our HAPPINESS!!!..GOOD LUCK:)

  16. Doc Snow profile image89
    Doc Snowposted 12 years ago

    The biggest key is to listen--REALLY listen.  So often we want to "fix" things for our friends with well-meant suggestions.  Of course, there's nothing per se wrong with that, and sometimes suggestions really end up being helpful.  But the odds of that go way up if we've first taken time to understand the problem.

    And many times, what's needed is not a "solution," but a bit of empathy and understanding.

  17. Lady_E profile image64
    Lady_Eposted 12 years ago

    I would like to add that sometimes just being there is helpful. Sometimes, also if we keep quiet they will open up and talk and get some of the depression out of their system. Some might even cry.....

    Maybe after that we can then encourage with inspiring words.

    We relate to people differently - vice versa.

  18. noturningback profile image60
    noturningbackposted 12 years ago

    All you can do to be helpful is listen and acknowledge their pain. Encouragement can be helpful, but if they are in a deep or lasting depressive state of mind you can only hope they will recover.
    Please don't leave them, even if they lash out at you, it is most likely a temporary symptom of their illness.
    I am currently and have been involved with others who suffers from this affliction. Try any means just to get through it, but it is a daily struggle.

  19. kerlynb profile image82
    kerlynbposted 12 years ago

    Sharing the words of God would be very important.

    Also, I think doing some of the things below would also help our friends who might be depressed.

    - Listening. It's important that our friends know that they can  tell us what is on their minds anytime.
    - Letting them do the talking.  Many friends would not want unsolicited advice.  Often, they just need someone they can speak with.
    - Seeking professional help.  When friends start posing harm to themselves, then it is quite important that we encourage them to seek medical help.

  20. Sarahsvoice profile image61
    Sarahsvoiceposted 12 years ago

    Remind them that things will not always be the way they are now.  Encourage them to get professional help if the depression seems to be chronic.  Behavioral therapy may be needed.  Someone who is depressed usually has negative thought patterns.  This can be changed.

  21. Joe Winfield profile image56
    Joe Winfieldposted 12 years ago

    well lit rooms and brighter surroundings help the brain produce serotonin, a natural protein that helps to combat the feeling of depression.

    also it helps to encourage physical activity. what ever they are "up" for. if it's just a walk to the corner store.

    encourage them to talk also. and of course steer them towards more light hearted topics.

    i hope this advice helps someone smile

  22. infoforum profile image61
    infoforumposted 12 years ago

    Listening to a depressed person is a goo way. The person would speak out whatever is depressing him/her and it would release his/her stress.

  23. Sheila Wilson profile image88
    Sheila Wilsonposted 11 years ago

    This hub is designed to answer the question: "How do you comfort a friend who is depressed? I often quote verses from the bible to him/her. For you are my lamp, O Lord.the Lord shall enlighten my darkness, -2 Samuel 22:29"
    As someone who has... read more

  24. tsmog profile image84
    tsmogposted 10 years ago

    A very challenging question. Different scales are used with depression to determine a position of worse with better seeking the okay of normal. There are scales for geriatrics, grieving, & more. Usually asked where from 1 - 10 does one feel. Ponder Feel = perception or of the senses. Perspective is as viewed with cognition. Having a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder I use the following. 

    +5 = Severely Manic or Hospitalization is required Does not function socially
    +4 = Manic and may not require hospitalization Does not function socially may be considered clinical though not hospitalized
    +3 = mildly manic leaning toward hypomanic and may consider hospitalization based on social functioning
    +2 = Hypomanic manageable and functions socially
    +1 = Mildly Hypomanic manages easily,  functions easily socially, is the upper range of normal while medicated with some type of therapy
    +/-0 = Considered normal by most by symptomology and definitions
    -1 = mildly depressed manages easily, functions easily socially, is the lower range of normal while medicated with some type of therapy
    -2 = depressed manageable and functions socially
    -3 = major depression leaning toward severe depression and may consider hospitalization based on social function
    -4 = Severe depression and may not require hospitalization Does not function socially may be considered clinical though not hospitalized
    -5 = Severely depressed, meets clinical criteria, requires hospitalization & does not function socially

    Once an interaction takes place between the depressed person & the non-depressed or normal person then communication offers a comparison and contrast to both. Immediately with that occurrence one of a few things occurs.

    Most typical of the social structure in the US, yet not necessarily of cultures & subcultures self esteem & not esteem is decided with that process.One may say it is natural as inherited through nurture as an agency of society and is angelic or not. 

    The depressed individual responds seeking at minimum "same as." If Bible verses are used, then a positive result may occur. Yes, it is foundational on belief systems of faith through grace the action of better than before occurs. Ponder temporary. Baseball works too. Familiar to the depressed, works best.

    The social interaction is only one agency of healing. How that agency is directed offers power. Healing is only one result. Comforting a friend may be accomplished with a simple smile of recognition. And, just being there.


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