i am 21years old,i have a boyfriend,and he his my first ever,i'm still a virgin,

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   Bimbieposted 14 years ago

   i am 21years old,i have a boyfriend,and he his my first ever,i'm still a virgin,one of the...
   
   reasons i'm dating him is because he is in Ukraine studying while i'm in Replublique de Benin,i'm not ready for sex,so dating him doesn't require sex till he finishes school.At the same time, i met a guy who really loves me,and i really like him too,but the problem is i dont want sex but he does........so i decided to cut him off,then i've met three other guys that really love me,but i keep cuting out cos they always want sex.i do i know i really love my boyfriend and not using him because of my fear of sex

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   angel115707posted 14 years ago

   OK girl...you are blessed to be a virgin..tell those guys to get lost!!!! TRUST ME!!!!!! they are not worth it..... 99.9 percent of men will never love you as much after, despite what we hope and dream...men want what they cannot have, once they have you sexually, they will neglect you, resent you, ignore you, mistreat you etc...I KNOW!!!!!! I wasn't so blessed to be a virgin, it was stolen and after that i did not care, but every guy in my life treated me better before the sex.... its not that we women are bad in bed, men have short attention spans and if he isn't willing to marry you first, he has no intention of staying committed to you... enjoy the attention you get from guys, but draw the line, its up to you, but trust me, you will never feel innocent again, you will feel cheap and used if you give in now!!

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   jdomingoposted 14 years ago

   I'll agree with angel here you are very resilient to still be a virgin, and by the sounds of it you are a very attractive young girl, a virgin, and taken.  Odd enough that's what a lot of guys are looking for and I hate to say it being a guy and all but I think other three guys that 'really love' you only like the fact of your virginity and like angel said we will want what we can not have.  Stay strong your boyfriend will love you all the more.

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   wychicposted 14 years ago

   Listen to Angel on this one, sounds like she's had to learn the hard way. I'd like to add that no relationship "requires" sex. If they "really love you" but then leave when they find out they're not getting any, they obviously never did love you. If someone really loves you, it's okay if he wants to have sex, that's natural...but he also needs to respect your decision not to. Once you've made it clear that you're not willing to take that step yet, then someone who really loves you needs to back off on that part of the relationship and be willing to wait until you're ready. Figure out who it is you really want in your life, and let them know what your expectations are within a relationship. If he's not okay with it, he's not right for you.
   
   We'll add in some personal experience...I have a few friends who got married as virgins in their mid- to late-20s, and their husbands all agree that it made them respect them more that they didn't have sex ahead of time, and let them know that there really weren't any lovers they didn't know about in the past. I myself made the mistake of letting someone push me before I was ready. We did eventually get married and stayed together for five years, but by time I was your age I had a 2-year-old and was stuck in a miserable relationship. It kind of backfired on him too...he was really lousy in bed, and I learned that early on. Since he was the first I'd ever been with I didn't know just HOW bad, but it was really hard to keep my interest in that part of the relationship because I was never satisfied...and he didn't care, which now I know should have been a warning sign to me about his view on the rest of the relationship.

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   wrhapsodyposted 14 years ago

   If he really does love you, he will wait.

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