but what if they really put you down all the time almost in an unloving way? can

1. 54

   mimi kingposted 14 years ago

   but what if they really put you down all the time almost in an unloving way? can u really forgive?
   
   i think its better to rather give a distance but still being at peace with them cos i think blood is stronger than water, and at some stage they do come through for you but at a cost of selling you soul and self-worth to them. Its a tough choice to make but i think cutting ties is better but being in good terms with them for the sake of peace
   
   

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2. 78

   galleryofgraceposted 14 years ago

   A person who constantly puts you down has very low self esteem and is trying to bring you down to their level.They feel worthless and want you to be worthless too. Don't let them! Walk away. Because eventually you will start to believe it and your self worth will be meaningless.
   Get away at all costs or demand that they get mental help.

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3. 60

   esha sposted 14 years ago

   I  am  in  that  kind  of  situation  right  now.  In  the  past  I  felt  like  why  should  I  forgive  this  person  just  because  we  are  famliy.  That  if  they  loved  me  that  much  they  would  treat me  wrong.  But  then  I  had  to  realize  that  the  forgiving  part  is  for  me,  because  if  I  do  something  wrong  to  another  person  I  want  them  to  forgive  me.  It's  kind  of a  cycle,  forgive  and  be  forgiven.  Being  close  to  to  this  person  once  again  after  forgiving  them,  is  kind  of  base  of  you.  As  well  as,  base  on  how  close  you  were  with  them  before  the  issues  occured.  If  you  feel  that  you  still  want  to  be  close  with  that  person  then  do  what  you  have  to  do,  but  if  you  feel  you  can't  contnuie  to  be  treated  this  way  then  again  do  what  you  have  to  do.  It's  all  up  to  you  and  what's  in  your  heart.

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4. 0

   surlyoldcatposted 14 years ago

   THink of it like Popeye:
   
   "I've had I can stands and I can't stands no more!"
   Squeeze open a can of spinach, down it, then go beat the stuffing outta the other person.
   
   Yeah...that'd be nice.
   
   Seriously, you kave to know when enough is enough, otherwise YOU have the problem and are a borderline lost cause until something bad happens.
   
   Don't let it get that far and know when to say enough is enough.

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5. 54

   mimi kingposted 14 years ago

   guys, i really appreciate your intake, but what  if these people are your close family members like your mother and sisters which is the case in my situation? cos to be honest this is really psychologically draining and i dont wanna end up feeling like a victim here. Can you really divorce your immediate family?

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6. 54

   Tatjana-Mihaelaposted 14 years ago

   Yes, you can "divorce" your immediate family, sometimes is the only way to lead the normal life to cut the ties.
   It is not easy process, it takes some time and courage to do it, but staying bonded with people who harm you is self-destructive. No matter if these people are your family or not - negativity is negativity.
   Your real choise is between negativity or positivity, not more, not less.
   
   I wish you a lot of luck.

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7. 92

   James A Watkinsposted 14 years ago

   To forgive those who wrong you is hard. But all things worth doing are hard. To forgive those who hurt you builds character and so you grow as a person through it. Just do it.

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