but what if they really put you down all the time almost in an unloving way? can u really forgive?
i think its better to rather give a distance but still being at peace with them cos i think blood is stronger than water, and at some stage they do come through for you but at a cost of selling you soul and self-worth to them. Its a tough choice to make but i think cutting ties is better but being in good terms with them for the sake of peace
A person who constantly puts you down has very low self esteem and is trying to bring you down to their level.They feel worthless and want you to be worthless too. Don't let them! Walk away. Because eventually you will start to believe it and your self worth will be meaningless.
Get away at all costs or demand that they get mental help.
I am in that kind of situation right now. In the past I felt like why should I forgive this person just because we are famliy. That if they loved me that much they would treat me wrong. But then I had to realize that the forgiving part is for me, because if I do something wrong to another person I want them to forgive me. It's kind of a cycle, forgive and be forgiven. Being close to to this person once again after forgiving them, is kind of base of you. As well as, base on how close you were with them before the issues occured. If you feel that you still want to be close with that person then do what you have to do, but if you feel you can't contnuie to be treated this way then again do what you have to do. It's all up to you and what's in your heart.
THink of it like Popeye:
"I've had I can stands and I can't stands no more!"
Squeeze open a can of spinach, down it, then go beat the stuffing outta the other person.
Yeah...that'd be nice.
Seriously, you kave to know when enough is enough, otherwise YOU have the problem and are a borderline lost cause until something bad happens.
Don't let it get that far and know when to say enough is enough.
guys, i really appreciate your intake, but what if these people are your close family members like your mother and sisters which is the case in my situation? cos to be honest this is really psychologically draining and i dont wanna end up feeling like a victim here. Can you really divorce your immediate family?
Yes, you can "divorce" your immediate family, sometimes is the only way to lead the normal life to cut the ties.
It is not easy process, it takes some time and courage to do it, but staying bonded with people who harm you is self-destructive. No matter if these people are your family or not - negativity is negativity.
Your real choise is between negativity or positivity, not more, not less.
I wish you a lot of luck.
To forgive those who wrong you is hard. But all things worth doing are hard. To forgive those who hurt you builds character and so you grow as a person through it. Just do it.
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