I desire a man until he begins to love me, then i am repulsed by him. How do I push past this?
My father was an alchoholic and would reject me one minute, then be playful the next. When he would again become playful I would get angry and push him away. I never felt safe to be myself with him, it was always under his terms. we get along alright now. I met someone that has all of the qualities that are healthy and reliable. He is consistent with me and now that he is beginning to get serious, I am finding myself unable to fall for him. How do I fix this?
You have built up a wall, and you can come from behind that wall and play, but when someone wants to join you on the other side, you cut them off at the path. You are just protecting yourself from getting hurt is all. You just want to control the settings right now, because you are not ready to go there yet and you can't rush it. You will have to dig deep within yourself and submit to the love that this man is trying to share with you. But as long as you can control how far it gets, you feel that you can't get hurt. You could be preventing yourself from having a great man. Being in love and getting hurt by love is a part of life. It's an experience that you just have to go through in order for you to truly understand what love really means. It's a beautiful thing, but if you are not ready, then you are just not ready.
Your feelings are based on the abnormal behaviour of your father which can not be rooted out from your mind easily. There seems to be no such possibility that the man you love will turn up like your father. Making of negative opinion about him may put you in an embarrassing situation unnecessarily and instead of expecting the abnormal behavior about him, you should keep your mind absolutely clear that he will heal up your wounds and that's why the almighty has sent him in your life.
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