I have an open relationship with a man.How to you tell him you want more with out fear he will leave
I have been seeing someone for a few months we only get together ever few weeks the other night I looked at hime and realised that I was falling for him. He came over last weekend everything is great. He is always asking me if I have something on my mind I always tell him no. I want to tell him that I want to know if we are just a hookup or does he ever want to be more. I'm so scared to tell him. I happy with the few hours in a month that I get with him. But I so want more.
It's only and always worth it to have people in your life as well as circle who are unconditional as well as understanding to you and your feelings. For you to fear him leaving says that you are in the know about "the truth", his truth. If you enjoy the moments that you spend together, settle for just that! But if the desires of your heart preceded that, it would be in your best interest to seek out what your heart desires.
Vonda G. Nelson
honesty is the best way to make a relationship strong. if you talk to him and he doesn't want what you want at least you will know where you stand. in the end , you can still continue to live like you are but at least you will not have to worry about your future life with him.
I've been in this situation before. I never had the courage to tell him how I really felt through fear of ruining things, and him running. Another girl told him how she felt and he started a more serious relationship with her, and ours ended. So my advice would be to find away to tell him how you feel no matter how scary it might seem. And try to say it directly to him, not via text message or email. Bear in mind that you have a right to your feelings but it could come as a shock to him since your relationship has only been casual up to this point, so after you've told him please give him some time and space to think about what you've said so he can make up his own mind about it.
Another way to go about it would be to say something subtle to him about how you feel you're developing stronger feelings for him than what you originally had, and just see what his reaction is when you say that, at least it might get you talking about where you really stand with eachother. You lose more when you never tell the person you love how you feel, so you really need to find a way to overcome your fear of communicating your feelings to him.
Also bear in mind, your feelings could be that of lust and it could be just a crush, because if he's just coming over to your place every few weeks he's probably not giving you what you're really looking for or deserve in a relationship no matter how hot he might be it doesn't sound like he's taking you out on proper dates etc and he's potentially seeing other women (since you have an open relationship at the moment).
You have to just tell him. If you do and he runs, then it wasn't "meant to be", but maybe it'll turn out he was thinking the same exact thing and will appreciate you coming out and saying it.
On the other hand, if you don't tell him, sure, you might get to continue enjoying your occasional "hookups"... but ultimately you'll never actually be happy.
Asking someone for more than they are giving you is always a risk. However it's worth taking that risk. You are better off knowing where you stand before you get too emotionally involved. Ultimately we are all looking for someone who wants what we want.
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