My double edged sword
I suffer from periodic depression. Even if things are going great I'll end up feeling down for no reason. Me and my girlfriend are in a committed relationship and what I used to do is refuse to contact her during my depression because I didn't want to bring her down. She became angry when I did this, so I stopped. Recently she just got great news about her future art career and at the same time I had an episode. I could tell I brought her down and I felt like sh**. I'm tired of bringing her down, but she always gets furious when I tell her to stay away. I'm so confused, what should I do?
Do you lack purpose in your life?
Do you have a job, a career, a goal?
Who are you?
Not sure what type of depression you have, but if you need instant physiological remedy please try taking vitamin D, daily. You will notice an instant improvement in your mood.
However, do not avoid the root issue which only you must discover AND face in order to fully move forward with joy and peace.
This sounds serious so my answer would be to seek out professional advice on how to deal with it. And don't put it off.
For me, I've found that we need to have a number of things in our lives to keep us reasonably optimistic in order to keep 'the blues' at bay. A friend sent me a message carrying the following on it which might help.
"Happiness is NOT simply the absence of despair. It is an affirmative state in which our lives have both meaning and pleasure." It is quite normal not to be happy all the time.
We need to have something to do which we find meaningful. We need someone to love, and we need something to look forward to."
Start by loving your self. It's your first and primary duty. You're worthy. Love and like your self and all the rest will start to fall into place.
I suffer with some depression myself, and never thought about how it effected others around me. What I have started doing is looking at every situation and look for positives. Instead of looking at what I can't do, or what might go wrong, I look at what I can do, and what good things can happen. I have come to realize that I can't change everything so I have to make the best of every situation. Take it one step at a time and maybe see a counsellor. But I have found that if I start my day with a smile,even if I have to fake it at first, the day gets better and more positive as it goes.
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