What do you do if you know that your best friend's wife is cheating on her husba

1. 68

   Rosie2010posted 14 years ago

   What do you do if you know that your best friend's wife is cheating on her husband?
   
   I just saw the preview of the movie "Dilemma" and this is exactly the problem this guy is facing.  What would you do?

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2. 61

   IdeaMorphistposted 14 years ago

   I would tell them.... closer with the friend then their spouse. If they did not know they deserve to know, and if they did know then no harm is done on my behalf to my friend!

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3. 39

   kimblesposted 14 years ago

   Who are we to judge, what business is it of ours? On the other hand how much do you value your best friend??
   
   Let us say they confront the wife, she makes an excuse, your best friend wants to believe her because the alternative is ending the relationship (which they are not strong enough to do and cannot stand the thought of life without them) so where does this leave you.
   
   Most best friends will always pick their partner over you, how many best friends does have person have in life, a best friend of the moment or a true best friend you have know for 20+ years.
   
   It also depends on how you know, was it hear say, through a friend of a friend, did you see them in the car together. Much better to confront the friends wife and tell her what you know and that you are in a bad position and she must sort her life out. Either ditch the lover or tell her husband and your best friend that they are over.

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4. 59

   Right On Timeposted 14 years ago

   I don't know if I would get involved. Because you could lose a friend if the wife is manipulative and turns him against you. But at the same time there's the argument that the friend could say "why didn't you tell me". The best way is for you to help the person see it for themselves. Maybe if you know where the two of them are just drop by with your friend. That way you're not the person who's being a busy body. Hope this helps, and best wishes for 2011, Rosie

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5. 79

   Buffoonposted 14 years ago

   If it's your best friend, do you even need to ask the question??? 
   
   Never mind that: What kimbles said is true, most folks would pick their spouse over their friend, if bad comes to worst, INITIALLY. The reason for that is usually shame and protectiveness more than the value folks put on their friendships. Over time, friends will be friends, and cheaters will be... cheaters and HISTORY.
   
   And this answer is based on a true story. HA HA

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6. 83

   Leann Zarahposted 14 years ago

   I agree with Right On Time. That's akin to what Cheater, the TV program does, though they build up their case first to have enough proof of infidelity. In situations like this, one incident isn't enough.
   
   Also you mention "know"...how did you find out? If you've seen his wife with another man (and she doesn't know you or remember who you are), perhaps you could take some photos of them being affectionate with each other using your cellphone or ask a companion to do it for you (in case the wife knows you). Be careful though so as not to make them suspicious of you.
   
   Another way is to ask your friend if he's noticed some changes in his wife's behavior - gets irritated when he asks her questions, spends longer hours preparing herself before she goes out of the house, less physical intimacy, doesn't appear concerned if he spends days away from home working on some project. These clues also go with philandering husbands.
   
   Drop some hints if you can - hopefully, your friend's sensitive enough to know something's amiss. You could  suggest that he might want to try telling his wife he's going away some time and then return unexpectedly. He might see something he likewise never expected.
   
   I just hope he won't take it against you that you're helping him find out the truth. It's a different story though if he's aware she's having an affair with someone. There are people who are okay with that - as long as they know about the relationship beforehand.

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7. 59

   Ashantinaposted 14 years ago

   If it was a 'best friend' then yes!
   My conscience would get the better of me. I would make sure I had proof though.
   Remember (in most instances) 'the omission of truth is the same as a lie..'

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8. 66

   Pixienotposted 14 years ago

   I'm not 100%sure what I would do, but I think I'd go talk to the wife before I approached the friend.  Perhaps what I saw was not what I thought.  If it was, I'd tell the wife that she has so long to tell her husband, or I would. (I think)  A best friend is just that, a best friend.

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