How Do you Forgive?
How do you forgive someone who insists that he had not done you wrong when you were in fact hurt by him?
Say that I am going to forgive someone, and practice more an more every day, realising to forgive sets you free of the anger, hatred, pain, and suffering.
Forgiveness is very difficult once trust has been broken. The only thing is to start each day, under no pressure, to slowly let it go.
When a heart is hurt, a gate of protection comes upon us so we won't get hurt again.
Give yourself time to forgive.. it is essential to let it go because unforgiveness only destroys the person who was hurt.
Sometimes, people are unaware that they have hurt you or refuse to admit to it. I would say pray and ask God for you to let go of the hurt inside you, and to learn to forgive the other person. It is the only way that you can be freed of anger and resentment because at the end, the other person has moved on, while you are still holding a grudge. Free yourself of hatred and resentment, and move on with your life. Maybe, take up a hobby, volunteer or do something that you enjoy to distract you from ill feelings. I realize it is easier said than done because I have been a victim of such feelings, especially if it is someone you are close to or care about, and they don't seem to realize that they are still hurting you. I would say let go and let God handle it. Hope this helps!:-)
Totally agree with CarolineVABC's answer. Involve God in the forgiving process. You don't even need to involve the person who hurt you - you can forgive him without letting him know; you can do this between you and God. That will allow you to move on. If you do this correctly, freeing yourself from anger should be the main goal of all this, and not trying to 'make' anyone look at whether he really hurt you or not. The fact is, a) you were hurt, but b) realize that ultimately your happiness shouldn't come from having him agree you were hurt. It should come from letting go of your anger and resentment, as CarolineVABC said.
Remember, forgiveness simply means forgiveness for the past events that the person has done to you. It doesn't imply you need to involve them in your life, and likewise you're not compelled to place any future trust in that person. You can forgive him for past events and let it go at that if you want to; forgiveness doesn't mean you are obligated to be buddies with him in the future. Hope this helps!
This is a terrible feeling! Some people are very cruel and selfish and feel it is ok for them to hurt others. It is very hard to forgive a person like this.
It takes time. Depending on how you were hurt, it may be wise to not speak to this person for awhile. Distance may help heal your pain.
Your pain has to healed first before you can forgive. Try talking to someone about how you were hurt so you can get it out of your system. Talking out loud is an important factor in letting go.
Once you are healed from the pain you will let go of the anger and it will be much easier to forgive.
Truly forgiving is very hard especially when they do not think they did anything wrong. Try to forgive because if you don't they continue to have a kind of power over you. Don't give them that power, let it go--but do not forget. You may have to accept the fact he will never understand how he hurt you. We can't change other people, only ourselves.
No one can give you that answer except God he teaches you how, humanly speaking its something impossible but with Gods help it can turn possible.
Jesus said, when he was on the cross, "Father, forgive them they know not what they do." It is good to remember this when faced with someone else's adversity. I have remembered in my past when I truly believed that what I said or did was nothing wrong, and another person was affected by it. The person affected by the hurt sees it from one perspective, while the other person causing the hurt is only seeing it from another. God is the Final judge in all matters, in deciding who did wrong. The Bible gives instruction to follow Jesus, and that we must ask for His forgiveness daily for sins "seen and unseen".
I wrote a verse with in my hub called "How To Have Forgiveness Forever". I will share it with you now.
" So if you wish God to Bless
You must then confess
Love one another
By forgiving them
As sister and brother
To be free of sin
But we are forgiven
By the Power of the Word."
So, Lita, I hope I was helpful. I hope you read my hub on forgiveness. No one is really an expert at these things. If we were, we would be in Heaven by now. Just pray for the individual you wish to forgive. Ask God to reveal the situation to that person, and maybe the person would come up for an apology. BELIEVE that God can change all things.
Nothing feels worse than having someone say, "I'm sorry" when you clearly can see they don't believe they have done you wrong.
I suspect if he said something along the lines, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings...etc" Deep down you honestly wouldn't feel better.
The apology would be nothing but words to appease you.
For some people apologizing when they think they did nothing wrong feels as bad as pleading guilty to a crime they did not commit. (Step away from your situation for a moment) If you felt like you did nothing wrong would you apologize? Would you plead guilty to a crime you didn't commit? Since we can't read each other's minds or hearts it's impossible to know if a person did something with the intent of hurting us or if we are just disappointed because they didn't live up to "our expectations".
Fogiveness is something (a person requests).
This man is NOT asking you to "forgive" him.
It's now up to you to either let it go or let him go.
The choice is yours!
Honestly, the ultimate forgiveness can only be found in God. Seek Him, and find forgiveness. Start by making up in your mind that you're ready to forgive. All I can say is find scriptures about forgiveness in the Bible, there are plenty! :-)
Ask God. He does it everyday. Its a process and at first seems so impossible, not because the act itself is difficult, but because of feelings of being hurt, crossed, offended, and even pride gets a punch to the gut. forgiving does not make you weak; it shows that you clearly understand that holding on to hurt is destructive and imprisoning. Forgiving is easy once you come to that point. Jesus was in no wise a mere man. Hanging on the cross, constantly being cursed and ridiculed; He was slapped, mocked, spit upon, forsaken and betrayed and not even ONCE , not even by a mere milli-thought, did He ever plot revenge or hatred. Then you got all these men that wanna brag about themselves and their strength, oh please. Jesus was a real man among men because He always did what was morally right, even as hard as it can be.
by Leslie A. Shields 7 years ago
We know that we will be better off if we forgive all of those things and and all of those people that have caused us pain....In this thread, ask for or give forgiveness. You don't have to give specific in details if you don't want to.I ask that Christians who have hurt people be forgiven.
by JP Carlos 5 years ago
Where do you draw strength to forgive someone who did something wrong to you?
by Anan Celeste 6 years ago
Do you know how to forgive? Can you forget?It's rather easy to say I forgive you,but is it always so?
by Dora Weithers 6 years ago
What burdens you more? Having to forgive someone or wanting someone to forgive you?Or does it not bother you at all?
by Joan Whetzel 5 years ago
Have you ever felt the need for revenge?What did you do about it? Did you pull of some sneak revenge? Did you plan the revenge but not do anything about it? Did you find some way to train your brain onto something else more constructive?
by R9139 2 years ago
Could you forgive a friend if they stole from you?
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