I Need a Woman's Perspective!

1. 72

   Syrusv37posted 14 years ago

   I Need a Woman's Perspective!
   
   Long story short, after two years my gf broke it off with me recently due to some circumstances neither of us could control. Admitting that she is still in love with me, she insists she wants to be friends. Being that I'm still in love with her, I dont want to be just friends. We talked recently and I asked her to reconsider getting back together, but if she cant, then I cant guarantee I will be friends. I told her to take her time and think bt it, but so far its been a day and I've heard nothing from her. Should I contact her or leave her be and what does this mean? Need female perspective.

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2. 60

   michelemacwritesposted 14 years ago

   I would advise you to give her time and space to deal with the circumstances.  Calling her may seem desperate on your part.  If she is really in love with you, as she claims, absence might well make the heart grow fonder and lead her back to you.  If you know that you are unable to be "just friends" and have already expressed your love to her, it is now all up to her !!!!  All the best to you !

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3. 77

   BizGenGirlposted 14 years ago

   It's hard to give precise advice without knowing what the uncontrollable circumstances are. Though you're discretion does give some subtle clues.
   
   I would back off and give her plenty of space. What ever it was has obviously caused some post-traumatic stress, which happens in life sometimes. By continuing to prod her, you'll push her away from you more, which sounds like the last thing you want.
   
   Plan on not calling or contacting her for at least a week. Plan to go and do somethings you used to do before you were exclusive with her. Go and do distracting things that help you think about what good things you have in your life besides her. Take this as a "loving yourself" moment. Especially since it sounds like whatever has happened, has affected you to. Don't neglect yourself in an effort not to lose her.
   
   By focusing on yourself, giving her some space and bringing more happy thoughts into your life at the moment, you will attract more happiness. Which will probably attract your girl back. Plus, it might give you some time to mull over what ways you can help cheer up your girl and reconnect with her.
   
   Take some time to consider that whatever has happened, may have changed your relationship in her mind and she might not be able to get past it. Remember that she is not the only one out there for you and that you won't melt away if you two don't stay together. I know it doesn't seem like a great thought at the moment, but considering that you seem like you love her, you might need to let it go for her sake. By preparing your mind for the possibility now, if it comes down to it later, it won't be so hard to process.
   
   After a week, if she hasn't contacted you in any intimate way, then you can try giving her a call or sending her a message. Don't be pushy or urgent. Do it when you're calm, happy and just contact her to see how she's doing. She'll be able to tell if you're just trying to get back with her and it won't work.
   
   Well, I hope this long winded answer helps. Good luck

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4. 61

   dustbunnieposted 14 years ago

   The ball is in her court, let her alone so she can come to a decision. If you hear nothing from her then leave it alone and move on. If you keep contacting her your gonna make yourself seem desperate.

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5. 70

   stricktlydatingposted 14 years ago

   Seriously, your best bet is to let her be.  You've done exactly the right thing if you want your relationship back. You've said no to being friends, and told her your still in love with her and asked her to consider getting back together.  Perfect.  Now what will work for you is to let her be for at least 3 weeks, so she has time to realise what her life is like without you in it at all (Not just filling the gap with keeping you there a little bit as a friend).  Don't even message her to ask her how she is.  Completely go missing for the next few weeks and she'll think about what you said and then decide if in her heart she wants you back.  Any pressure you put on her to decide before she's had this space will complicate things and delay getting back together.  She needs to be able to decide she wants you back on her own without being pressured into it.  Goodluck!

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6. 59

   TimeToGoBeyondposted 14 years ago

   If you still love her and she does to you also, then the best thing I can suggest to you (from my own experience) is to completely have no contact with her ever again. The only way I got over my ex is that we stopped talking - if you still love someone you can't be friends, you need to move on and if you have contact, it will never happen.

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7. 72

   eye sayposted 13 years ago

   let her think about, she is doing what you asked, you told her to take her time, if you are serious give her that time - don't be desperate.

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