Jealousy. Why do we feel jealous at times when we know better?
The feeling of jealousy is something we can't really help. It sometimes creeps up to you even when you know the flaw in it. What makes you jealous?
Jealousy is an emotional side-effect of insecurity and an area of emotional immaturity.. If you are in a relationship and your partner looks or talks to another girl/boy and you feel jealousy what is that telling you? It's telling you that you don't have the confidence in yourself to be positive about the fact that your loved one's attention has gone elsewhere. You have a burning need for them to keep their attention on you at all times. Why? Because that makes you feel secure when they only talk or pay attention to you and you alone.
Many people find that when they work on building their self-confidence and start to acknowledge their own self-worth, they don't need to rely on the attentions of other people to boost them up. They can do that for themselves.
You may feel that jealousy can't be helped, but it can. Most importantly, jealousy that is left un-checked can cause the most devastating splits in relationships.
Jealousy is a human emotion. We are possessive creatures by nature. The level of jealousy is often controlled by our level of insecurity. Emotions are something that we do have control over. No one can make us feel anything that we do not want to feel. Realizing that we truly have control over no one but ourselves can be helpful. I have the philosophy that if someone is doing something that is improper and will affect me they will sooner or later be found out. I keep people in my life who are honest and trustworthy. That does not mean that I do not permit room for mistakes. However, a mistake happens once - not over and over. It then becomes intentional behavior. Negative intentional behavior does not have a place in my life. Thus, I do not need to feel jealous. I have control of my own lief.
It's the Devil. The world is full of sin. We were born into it. We all have our flaws and sinful ways. Not everyone has a jealous spirit though, and by that, I'm not saying that there's people that went all through life and never, ever became jealous (though it's not impossible), because I think most of us have experienced jealousy at least once in our lifetime and perhaps were able to fight that flaw. But they may suffer from other character flaws and sins, maybe something even worst than a catty jealousy streak.
Exodus 20:5 (the 5th of the ten commandments) reads; Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them (pagan gods) , nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
I guess in a sense jealously is kind of a natural feeling, but God can handle his (after all he created us and would have a right to be angry to see his flock worshipping a pagan god) but man in most cases can't deal with his jealous constructively as the one's that have issues controlling it becomes vindictive, bitter and sometimes even violent as it destroys relationships and kills future opportunities. That's why it's good to deal with those demons the best way you can.
The notion that jealousy is bad, is actually a relatively new notion, and one brought on by "civilized society". The truth is that it's actually unnatural to not be jealous. Jealousy is a natural instinct that arises when we feel threatened. Jealousy is an instinctual emotion that helped us survive in neanderthal days. Without that natural emotion, we wouldn't have found any reason to keep our mates near by to protect the family, make more offspring or bring in more resources.
The emotion of jealousy still serves the same purpose in today's age. It's just that we teach that it's not right to act on it anymore. There are more ways to provide resources, to create offspring and to protect the family without locking down a mate.
So when a common sense person knows that it's not "right" to be jealous, yet they still feel it, it can drive you nuts. It's because it's a natural emotion. The trick is to reminding yourself that the emotion is not as necessary as it once was, and that you can teach yourself to push that emotion aside. You'll still feel the twinge from time to time, which is natural, just don't let it eat you up.
The answer to the question is the same answer to the question, "Why is the grass greener on the other side?" We always want what we cannot have. Give us what we want and a new desire emerges.
Another thing people love to do is make judgment calls on who deserves what. Jealousy cannot exist without that judgment. Take the judgment out of jealousy and you have only reverence or admiration. Admiration combined with judgment equals jealousy.
Jealousy is part of human nature.
We can learn to control our emotion. It is always best not to keep it in heart as it may just burst out and the consequence will be disastrous.
What I normally do is find a place where it is quiet and scream my heart out. I let go all the bad emotions feeling with my scream. Then I will find myself relieve from the pain I may had felt. After doing that several times, I come to accept the fact that we cannot change when things happen but to accept the fact. Gradually I learn to accept things as they come along and feeling less jealous about it.
I do not know if that is a good thing or not but at least I am feeling much better.
by hollyschulz7 years ago
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