Why do some people begrudge others even when they are doing their best?

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  1. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
    Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years ago

    Why do some people begrudge others even when they are doing their best?

    Sometimes I notice that there is a tendency to criticize people who are good at what they are doing. It seems to me that one has to be doing nothing to criticize and doing something to be criticized. Is this true?

  2. profile image0
    JThomp42posted 5 years ago

    Jealousy!! This it what it all boils down to is jealousy.

    1. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      You are right about that-jealousy it is.

    2. profile image0
      JThomp42posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Amen Kate.

    3. gmwilliams profile image81
      gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Spot on correct!  So many people believe that if they are not achieving & receiving credit, then others SHOULDN'T either.

    4. Grace-Wolf-30 profile image61
      Grace-Wolf-30posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I absolutely agree with this comment. Jealousy plays a huge part in the type of behavior described in the question.

    5. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      There seems to be some consensus on this Grace-Wolf-30. Indeed jealousy and begrudgery are very similar,aren't they?

    6. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
      LoisRyan13903posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      gm you are right except sometimes some people are overlooked when they are doing a good job

  3. residentstone profile image57
    residentstoneposted 5 years ago

    Because humans are lazy, lethargic hogs that feel entitled to everything for doing nothing.

  4. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
    LoisRyan13903posted 5 years ago

    They are some people like that at work they think they are perfect and if another person does the job perfectly 99 out of 100 times they will find the one mistake.  However, if this same person makes a mistake they will excuse the mistake by saying "nobody's perfect"

    1. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      That is very true

    2. gmwilliams profile image81
      gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I worked for someone like THAT, what a miserable scumbag she was.

  5. tsmog profile image81
    tsmogposted 5 years ago

    Hello Kate. How is the isle? I had to look up begrudge to understand its meaning & the usage. I have an odd view of jealousy vs. envy. I tend to feel if a scale is used that jealousy falls under the negative connotation and envy on the positive side. Not sure, yet begrudge has to to with happiness and unhappy is the result of not having something.

    Jealous tends to be along side begrudge with a difference. Jealous is unhappy, yet anger is very prominent. Protectionism is prevalent too.

    Envy could be construed as a feeling of want and that is simple enough. Cause could be of any of the extremes of chosen pendulums and associated feeling of want or lack of. Or, hungry for anything, something, but not nothing?

    So, with a little exploring and learning for this self the perspective I have with begrudge is middle of the road kinda'. With a little insight maybe begrudging is a compliment in an odd way?

    I personally thus far do not see a connection between criticizing and begrudging someone. That said the second questions asked is very complex with a glance. I see two statements and seek drawing a compare / contrast.

    To criticize is to do nothing
    Doing something to be criticized

    Add with what was learned regarding envy, jealousy, and begrudge, plus ponder.

    Scenario #1

    Hungry person stands on corner with sign. Sign says "will work for food." Criticizing would be doing nothing. Questions come to mind with conflict resolution.

    Is standing on corner or end of street traffic doing nothing?
    Is not offering work doing nothing?

    Which is criticizing? Or, are both criticizing?

    Scenario #2

    You are at a stop sign. You just went to a fast food place and have a burger, fries, and a shake. A mom and two children - boy and girl close to same age, are sitting with sign that says "Need Help . . . Hungry."

    Little boy comes up to car asks for money. You share you have "only a debit card, but here take my food!" The little boy declines and walks away.

    As you drive away you see mom is flipping you off.

    Did mom criticize? Was mom begrudging, jealous, or envious?

    Were you criticizing by offering your food?

    Scenario #3

    Walking up to the corner convenience store you notice a man is picking up trash in the parking lot. You purchased your quick lunch items. On the way passed the man you offer a dollar. He refuses acceptance.

    Is he criticizing or were you criticizing?

    Next time you see him he is walking out of store with a banana and a coffee smiling.

    tim

    1. Neil Sperling profile image72
      Neil Sperlingposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Good answer -
      To me - Judgements appears to me to be the problem. "There is no right or wrong but thinking makes is so" Shakespeare

    2. tsmog profile image81
      tsmogposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Neil Sperling. I will look the quote of reference up latter tonight. Then I shall ponder new discoveries. Thank you . . .

      tim

    3. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      As I said it is quite simple. People who criticize are doing nothing and people who are being criticized are doing something

    4. Neil Sperling profile image72
      Neil Sperlingposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Kate - If a great guy becomes annoying when he is drunk... and people overlook a long time - finally someone has enough and blows huge criticism at the chap - the criticism IS doing something. Doing nothing would be ignoring the behavior even longer.

  6. LauraD093 profile image82
    LauraD093posted 5 years ago

    I think it is because humans are programmed to judge-It is worse when envy and jealousy are involved.

    1. Neil Sperling profile image72
      Neil Sperlingposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      :-) - my thoughts too.

    2. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      This is a good point

  7. aexbush profile image78
    aexbushposted 5 years ago

    Despite our best efforts to believe that there can always be a "win-win" strategy, our subconscious keeps giving us one of those annoying product placement mental ads that keeps screaming "win-lose" even though we don't want to believe it. It is like a constant personal battle between "The Force" and the "Dark Side" in which we are waffling back and forth between which side to believe.

    Why is this? Just think of all the daily and highly-visible examples in which someone has to lose when someone wins. Sporting events and elections are two of the most prominent illustrations of this "win-lose" mentality. Despite the best efforts of two or more people (including teams), there will be only one winner.

    Given this kind of message constantly somewhere in our heads, it is sometimes automatic (and subconscious) to begrudge others when they are doing their best work because the tape playing in the background conveys a message that perhaps I have to lose if you are winning. This will not always happen, of course, because in both life and in fiction, encounters between "The Dark Side" and "The Force" have unpredictable outcomes.

    May The Force Be With You.

  8. Ericdierker profile image46
    Ericdierkerposted 5 years ago

    The world needs critics. Trouble is that there are some lame ones out there. The other problem is amateur critics that fit Jthomp44s jealousy model.
    If you sat down with some one and asked them if they could critical analyse and report on something they would of course say yes. 95% of the time they would not be lying but would really think that they can. Then you ask them for their training, education and some samples of their work and they just look dumb struck. Then you ask them to analyse how a flashlight works of course the answer is almost always, "you press the button here".
    We are not born with critical thinking skills -- yes rudimentary problem solving intuition but even that is eroded by a lack of need to exercise it, apathy and lack of use destroys the innate ability.
    Proper criticism is a lot of work. Doing sloppy work is not a lot of work.
    I am sure glad my dad, lifted up and supported my work. But I am equally glad that he took the time to criticize his work for me and my work for me. That takes a lot of effort from a parent, and probably their parent before.
    I agree most criticism is more about the critic than the work being criticized. I also think that jealousy is root cause, but just as significant is fear of not being "as good as", and then throw in some meanness and you have what I think you are talking about.
    So I think what you are referring to really is not the art and science of critical thought but small minded people who put no effort into things they say and write because of huge insecurity issues.

    (sorry for being a bit of a blowhard on this but it is near and dear to me)

    1. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      You are right to point out the difference here but in my view criticism is never work. It is just second nature to some folk

  9. fpherj48 profile image78
    fpherj48posted 5 years ago

    Kate.....The world's OLDEST vice....."ENVY".....Mean old Mr. GREEN.  Fortunately, there are those who can experience joy for the accomplishments of others.  Those are the positive, supportive individuals who realize that we ALL shine in our own ways with our own abilities.  It balances out, more often than not.  We have our day in the spotlight.  Let others have theirs.  It's really so simple.

    1. tsmog profile image81
      tsmogposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I am not offering criticism fpherj48. I read this bit and byte of sharing as other hubs and etc. Mr. Green popped an image of a calendar on the wall of imagery of Elsa Beskow of Sweden. The book "Aunt Green, Aunt Brown, and Aunt Lavender." smile thanks

    2. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      This is exactly the point I am making fpherj48. You are right-we are lucky that there are people who can enjoy someone else getting on well-I always make a conscious effort to do so and it isn't hard. Thank you for your constructive comment

    3. fpherj48 profile image78
      fpherj48posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Kate....I THANK YOU!   smile

    4. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      You are more than welcome fpherj48

  10. Earl Noah Bernsby profile image87
    Earl Noah Bernsbyposted 5 years ago

    "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.  But it takes character and self-control to be under-standing and forgiving."
    -- Dale Carnegie

    1. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Such an appropriate quote here-words from the wise I'd say. Thankyou

  11. susanzheng profile image81
    susanzhengposted 5 years ago

    Begrudge, as a verb, means "to envy the possession or enjoyment of other people" or "to give or expend with reluctance".  If the "begrudge" in this question means "to envy the possession or enjoyment of other people" , the reasons for those who begrudge others may think "why it is them, but not me, who enjoy what they have and what they have achieved in life?"  What they see is only the achievement or better life of others, but not the hard work and mental effort of those people who are doing their best.  They hate those peoples who are doing their best because they think, by comparison, other people's better life or achievement may an indicator that they themselves are inferior or less capable of than the people who are doing their best.

    1. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      This is very insightful and explains the oint very well. thank you

  12. GlendaGoodWitch profile image89
    GlendaGoodWitchposted 5 years ago

    I believe that it is due to their own insecurity and incompetence, combined with a pure evil desire to see people hurt.
    I worked with a Philipino girl in California who hated anyone who was not Philipino. I tried hard to work extra hard so that she would not have to. I was actually doing a great job but she criticized my constantly and did all she could to make me cry. I finally realized that she was impossible.

    1. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Sadly you are right. Some people like to hurt others and that is why they criticize. Combined with prejudice,begrudgery is much worse.

  13. taburkett profile image59
    taburkettposted 5 years ago

    Not necessarily Kate - some individuals begrudge other individuals who are doing nothing. Envy is not solely a matter of more or less doing but of the individual criticizing others.

  14. DDE profile image24
    DDEposted 5 years ago

    I know of such kind of people something I don't agree with, when people criticize others who are good at what they do it is plain envy

  15. epbooks profile image81
    epbooksposted 5 years ago

    Some can have a feeling of superiority and want to put others down, or they are insecure and feel better about themselves by begrudging others.  Sadly, some people don't want others to succeed so by attacking their self-esteem, they are trying to 'keep the other person down.'

    1. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Superiority and insecurity are a lot to do with begrudgery as you say-understanding why people are like this helps us not to take it personally

  16. lisasuniquevoice profile image73
    lisasuniquevoiceposted 5 years ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/8165681_f260.jpg

    Kate,
    Those people have a bad feeling about themselves so they want to make others' feel pain too. I don't really understand it, but Dr. Oz says that when a toxic person starts up with their crap so to speak, we should just walk away.
    Lisa

    1. Kate Mc Bride profile image85
      Kate Mc Brideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      That is a good way of dealing with it provided they are not in our family or workplace where it is harder to do. Thanks for your comment lisauniquevoice

    2. gmwilliams profile image81
      gmwilliamsposted 18 months agoin reply to this

      Excellent response, Lisa.  These people are very insignificant, petty, & SMALL  If they weren't, they wouldn't be...HATING!

  17. gmwilliams profile image81
    gmwilliamsposted 18 months ago

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/13221906_f260.jpg

    The reasons are pure jealousy & feeling threatened that YOU will SURPASS this "person."   Insignificant & insecure people are oftentimes threatened by those who are smarter, more intelligent, &/or otherwise have FAR SUPERIOR skills than they will ever have &/or cultivate.   These people are in essence range from being mediocre to even borderline subpar in personality & other intellectual, mental, & psychological attributes.  They HATE that there are people who are MORE TALENTED & APT than they are.  So they think that by criticizing the latter, such people will be "put in their place" so to speak.

    There are also people, yes family members, who never had opportunities & view others w/more opportunities as suspect because the latter will have a lifestyle that will far surpass them.  Instead of being happy & encouraging, these family members will adopt a soul-devouring attitude, criticizing the latter family member although this family member is astute.  For example, a straight-A student whose mother never praise him/her but always see something to criticize him/her about.  This mother is envious perhaps because she never received any possible feedbacks from her parents so she refuse to praise her child, using her psychological, even psychic venom to tear down her child so the latter will never feel good about him/herself.

    The underlying reason why some people criticize others who are good at their jobs is because of inferiority in addition to jealousy.  These people are inferior souls & they KNOW it.  THAT is why they are THREATENED by people who do things well.  People HATE those who are MORE.  They love people whom they feel on par with as such people....AREN'T threats.

 
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