If you find yourself in this situation, you need to ask yourself - why are you n the relationship? Love is based on truth and honesty between two people - plus the heat.
If you want to have a relationship that will last throughout the test of time, find yourself someone that there is not the slightest doubt that you want to want to spend the rest of your life with - and your 'other' feels the same way.
It is worth working for, get looking. Walk away from this relationship that you describe - now.
Cheating is how?
Each human being must have made ??a mistake but how and what the error itself needs to be understood. And what about your attitude and he is now looking for solutions to error or fraud itself.
Then that someone might not be worth your affection and support.
Dump them. Obviously they don't really love you because of their actions. They would rather feel temporary pleasure then to not hurt you.
I agree with pudding, at some stage of "the game" you gotta just let things as well as some people go. They are caught up in their own world wind of confusion and if you tag along for the ride you will end up with more pain than you sign up for. Come on people the one and only true definition attached to Love does not embrace or entertain unwarranted pain. For some people to continuously hurt you is the only way for them to get their point across......whatever point that may be
When one partner continues to look for outside sources for sex and attention that means they have a problem and it is about them not you. Because if their is a problem in the relationship loving partners seek a solution together.
If I had my counselor's hat on, which I do, I'd say:
1) Make sure that the person you love knows how damaging cheating is to a relationship by having them read a book by one of the top relationship researchers/experts like Sue Johnson or John Gottman (there are many harmful relationship books out there to avoid).
You and your partner must have realistic expectations about how and why a long term relationship works and learn about the basic relationship maintenance skills that keep one going.
2) Cheating happens when a partner dosen't know how and why healthy relationships work or because they have core-relationship needs that are not being met. Learning how to hear and meet their needs may be indicated.
3) If the person is someone you really love, attend 7 or so, sessions of evidence-based couples counseling (EFT Couples Counseling is the best in the world).
As with my book recommendation above, don't waist your time with couples counseling that is not supported by strong empirical evidence. It's like the difference between taking an FDA tested medication and one that is not tested.
There's always an exception to the rule here. If you know of a relationship counselor or pastoral counselor etc who has really worked effectively with couples, you may consider working with them as well.
A properly trained couples counselor will have the knowledge, skills and experience, to either help you repair the relationship in as few as 5-7 sessions or identify problems and provide/support and alternative strategies best suited to the problem.
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