Why is it that when you need someone, whom you love the most, they are not there

1. 78

   snigdha.sposted 13 years ago

   Why is it that when you need someone, whom you love the most, they are not there for you?

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2. 0

   Johanna Bakerposted 13 years ago

   As much as you want someone to be there for you, there is no guarantee that they can be. They are not perfect and they will let you down sometimes, even if they don't want to. They may not be in a position to understand or help. Sometimes you may need to face things on your own and only through that can you grow and be in a position to help others in the future.

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   Travis_S_Musicposted 13 years ago

   I love the way Johanna answered this. That's exactly true. The sad reality is, people can't make you happy. Things can't make you happy. Only you can make you happy. If you are the religious type, pray about your problems, and you will get the answers when the time is right. If not, then try meditation, yoga, tai chi, or some activity that relaxes the mind and takes your thoughts away.

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4. 60

   Lovesloveposted 13 years ago

   I must be the luckiest person on earth then..the person I love doesnt love me....BUT he is always there when I need him X X

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5. 59

   C.V.Rajanposted 13 years ago

   Perhaps the person you love the most has not understood that you love him/her most and probably that's the reason why he/ she is not there for you when you need him/ her most.
   
   Love is measured not by the giver, but by the receiver.

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6. 60

   Edoka Writesposted 13 years ago

   Perhaps you're picking the wrong people to love. The feelings might not be mutual, or the person/people may be selfish- which is a common flaw.
   I'd say be more selective of whom you share your heart; you only have one; guard it consciously and study your subjects with a critical eye until they are found worthy.

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7. 61

   perfectperceptionposted 13 years ago

   Because people can be really selfish at times!

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8. 60

   nightwork4posted 13 years ago

   since when. i'm sorry that happens to you but i haven't had that happen in many years.

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9. 0

   Butch Newsposted 13 years ago

   When push comes to shove most everyone looks out for number one.
   
   Many, if not most, relationships are not what they seem on the surface.  Many are simply mutual toleration and co-dependent relationships we develop to defeat loneliness or for sexual gratification.
   
   We won't know who our real friends are until we face hardship together.
   
   I always recommend to people that are starting a relationship to take an extended trip together.  If they don't hate each other by the time the trip is over the relationship may have some foundation.

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10. 60

    Angel709posted 13 years ago

    I've read several great possibilities. Here are a few other thoughts to ponder.
    1) I know it sucks to have to "ASK" for what we want.  We expect the ones we love to see and respond to what we believe is the obvious. It is humbling, but if you really desire understanding, first be understanding--then ask for that which you seek from your loved one.
    2) Life has a way of "forcing us" to confront our fears and feelings of lack and need. We also have a way of attracting the very thing we do not want. Instead of looking outward, realize that everything you truly need comes from within.  People are only here to reflect back what we are truly sending out. This doesn't seem logical to those who "love hard" and never seem to get the same in return. But in fact, most often they are giving out of fear and need, not abundance of their own happiness. One can end up disappointed and feeling cheated, when it is they who cheated themselves.
    3) Within your question are the extremes that lead to disappointment.  "need someone", "love the most" and "not there for you". Have a support system starting with self-love that does not put the pressure on one person the MOST. Have alternatives and love people unconditionally and grow into the awareness that you are never separated from the ones you truly love. True love is always there with you and for you.
    ~Blessings

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    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    I'm guessing it may often have something to do with the fact that they love you back, and their emotions get in the way when they think or do whatever it is they think or do.
    
    Sometimes, too, we may love someone but think very differently from them in ways that don't become apparent until some big crisis takes place - and then both parties' different values, thinking, and approaches reveal themselves as a result of the situation.

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12. 70

    Darknlovely3436posted 13 years ago

    This is an old question that we asked ourselves over and over  the century
    as human beings, we tends to fall in a pattern of feeling that we need someone.. we are not whole unless he/she is not there for us
    however, we are capable  of handling most  situation without others.
    because  the wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes,  so is everyone who is born of the spirit.

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13. 78

    snigdha.sposted 13 years ago

    We may be capable of handling situations alone but during a crisis your love is put to test.Saying a thousand i love you's mean nothing when you leave your loved one to face hardship.Left alone we will emerge stronger no doubt but will you trust your love again?Definitely no.Your relation gets strained.Good advice on love as giving. sounds good to hear,not put in practice how many of us love people who genuinely need love.We are all selfish beings.Here we are talking about people whom you live with.Won't you take care of them when they fall ill,likewise without asking you will expect them to look after you when you fall ill.This is a very small example.But when the worst happens will you be away covering up will some lame excuse for not being present.

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14. 59

    tysandersposted 13 years ago

    Maybe the love isn't mutual? People who love you will do what they can to make sure you're okay.

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