Love Or Lust ?

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   uspillitposted 14 years ago

   Most people want to meet someone who will love and care for them.
   Once they find that special person, they fall madly in love. They then decide to move in together or get married. After this comes the children and striving together as one.
   
   For many this type of blissful life only last for a short period of time.The reason for this is, one or the other mate decides to cheat or be dishonest in some form or fashion.
   
   The following story is true. Only the names have been changed.
   
   If you have ever been hurt by a cheating mate, this story  will help you start the healing process. You will know you are not alone. You will also know, It was not your fault,Some people are just dishonest and disrespectful.
   
   
   If you would like to have your story told also, please email us at
   
   spittit@gmail.com
   
   You just may help someone feel better about their situation.
   
   
   Tom a junior in college had dated many young ladies. He was attempting to find that special someone. He met Terri three years ago. They had dated on and off, before deciding to get serious. They both were students. They both worked. They text messaged each other all day long. Late in the evening, after work and school, they would talk on the phone. Sometimes they would talk until one or the other fell asleep.
   
   Tom loved Terri so much. He told his Frat brothers he had met that special lady. They gave a party in his honor to celebrate the event.
   
   He told his parents,sibling and other relatives also.
   
   Terri would visit Tom and spend a day or so with him. Tom would visit Terri and stay three or four days with her.
   
   Tom would arise everyday looking forward to text messaging ang talking to the love of his life.
   
   Finally he decided it was time to ask that special question.
   
   Since this would be his first time, he decided to get advise.
   
   He asked his dad, how he proposed to his mom. He asked his uncles how they proposed to their wives.
   
   He talked to his mom about the situation. Although his mom was very happy for him, she cautioned him to be very careful.She explained to him , that sometimes people are not what they seem. Tom explained to his mom that his future wife was not like that. She was different from all the rest,
   
   Tom saved his money for weeks. He wanted to purchase the biggest engagement ring he could find.
   
   Tom and some of his frat brothers went out to the jeweler's and found just such a ring.
   
   Tom was planning to propose to Terri the next weekend.
   
   He called her to see what plans she had for the weekend.
   
   Terri did not answer, but someone else did.
   
   It was a guy. The guy wanted to know why Tom was calling Terri, because he and Terri had been dating many years. The guy was a truck driver and was only home weekend and holidays
   
   . Tom was devastated. He just could not believe what he was hearing. Terri was asleep, but the guy decided to awaken her. He too wanted to know what was going on.
   
   Finally Terri explained to the guy and to Tom what had transpired.
   
   Since her guy was only on home weekends and holidays, she sought out a relationship to fill the void. She never meant to hurt either of the two guys, she claimed.
   
   Tom had brought this woman gifts. He had treated her like a queen. His queen. Tom felt hurt, deceived, embarrassed and foolish all at the same time. He felt like crying. His heart was completely broken. How could he face his friends and family? He was so shocked. He just could not bring himself to tell anyone except his mom.
   
   He dropped out of college. He could not got work. He was not even sure he wanted to live. For many months Tom tried to figure out how he could have been such a fool.
   
   That was six months ago. Tom has now returned to school online and is currently looking for employment. He has not seen his frat brothers in six months. He does not visit family much and keeps to himself. He is still hurting. He has decided he will probably never get married. He feels women are evil.

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      whispers of faithposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      wow that was an amazing story im use to hearing about females getting hurt so its hard to believe that a female could be that wrong.

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      ralwusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

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      gkarlene50posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I noticed that women can be very manipulative.  They want what they want, and when they get it, the don't want it anymore or it just isn't appealing to them anymore.  But here, they've damaged a good man.  This makes it harder for another women, who means well, to get close to him.
      
      As for love or lust.  I heard an Apostle talk about people who were miserable in their marriage but are afraid to get a divorce claiming because of the marriage vows they took together.  The relationship is one of mental or physical abuse,low self esteem, and God knows how many more problems.  They may just be addicted to each other, or addicted to love,  and neither one of them wants to be the first to say goodbye.  So they are not happy and keep being abused.  Since so many had come to him broken because of a piece of paper saying they were married.  He included in a sermon, pointing out that "Some of you didn't get married in the name of Jesus; Uou got married in the name of lust.  You met a man at a club you get close and addicted to the sex or what they think is love, and the games began especialy with men.  Some women get all crazy because they found out their mate was cheating.  But all along, she was doing the same thing.  I relay that to the fact that a woman can do what she wants to do and never get caught.  On the other hand, a man is so eager to get what ever else he wants, and most of the time the woman he gets caught.  RELATINSHIPS!!

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   tantrumposted 14 years ago

   Why write all the content of your hub in this thread ??

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3. 0

   reeltaulkposted 14 years ago

   hmmmm----  All I have to say is, there are always red flags.  Its a matter of paying attention to them, and respond accordingly.  As for women being evil, No dear female bitches are!  A true Woman has no reason to exhibit evil unless it is called for!

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      whispers of faithposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      thank you for speaking up for us lol cause its true not all females are evil only the bitches are. i'm a good women looking for a good man. i know there are some out there but lately all i find are dogs.

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4. 0

   LEWJposted 14 years ago

   Sounds like it would have been better for Tom to take his mother's advice more seriously (SHE WAS DEAD RIGHT), discuss sexual matters with his mate more in depth, and persist with this approach until he was completely satisfied all was good.   
   Seems like a typical lust case to me.   Hard to call that outcome the result of genuine love.
   
   No, all women are'nt evil, but he sure ran into one that helped him get that impression about HER.
   And I am by no means surprised that a woman could be at fault in this way.  Famous movies have been made about that, and it happens every day.  After all, women are mortal like men, and can be just as lustful and deceitful.
   Tom would do well to go on with his life, developing himself according to his talents, and being the wiser in the future.

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5. 66

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   I agree, I hope he snaps out of it.  Don't let some stupid woman ruin your life. And he's still in college. He's way too young to make a lifetime commitment.

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   LEWJposted 14 years ago

   A true point, Flightkeeper; most everybody's still growing mentally, socially, etc. at the college level.   That's a bit early for either a lot of heavy mental stuff or giving up the ghost on life and the opposite gender.       I'm reminded of the Beatles' breakup.  They'd met as juveniles, entered their 20s together, enjoyed their good times---then they started  "growing up"  in the sense of growing apart toward their individualities.  And they developed still more into their adulthood.
   So it's an ongoing process.   No cheers for Romeo and Juliette on this point.
   Neither thought to give the process a chance.
   Had either of them done so, they'd have lived on and probably had a great life together.
   Wonder where that would've left our friend Shakespeare, though....

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7. 35

   humbledhomelyposted 14 years ago

   As sad as it seems I'd slap Tom in the back of the head for this one.
   
   You can't always just dive head in to things, especially as important as marriage and love.
   
   I red the first paragraph and knew everything would go downhill.
   As other people mentioned, high school and college are the wrong times to indulge in these situations.
   
   Then, he and her talked all the time. Not even face to face, but through text messages? That's not a good sign, and I think ole' Tom just loved the attention he was getting, and I think that's all he was getting >.0.
   
   Tom needs to be smarter and more serious about his relationships, and I hope he rids himself of that misogynistic mindset

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8. 72

   EYEAM4ANARCHYposted 14 years ago

   How many people should I forward this to in order to avoid something horrible happening to me?

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      Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      It is too late.......... the Curse will take effect soon. It is a two part curse. Firstly; you will be swamped by Nigerian scammers.. and secondly; You will be made to spend 6 months in anti-anarchy rehab. (that will involve being nailed to a X)

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         EYEAM4ANARCHYposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         In retrospect, I can only blame myself. I should have immediatly forwarded that to my entire address book and said three Hail Marys, so that cool picture would appear on my screen and Microsoft would send me a check for $1,000.

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      2. 57

         Dame Scribeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         PD, silly n a riot, lol

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         1. 61

            dejajolieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            LOL, TOO FUNNY!

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      words cocktailposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ..lol..i couldn't help laughing!!
      Such 'FWDness'

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9. 61

   cr8ve1posted 14 years ago

   OMG!! I read this article, and was SHOCKED! It sounded too familiar! Scarily familiar! I got stupid TWICE, cuz I marred into that kind of mess..."Tom" got lucky cuz he didn't get to that point. I'm sorta miffed a bit though cuz the girl happened to have MY name in the article..hit too close to home, at least from the male point of view. Being a female, a bitch and evil all in turns, depending on who you ask..I feel for "Tom" and his predicament. I jumped in both feet first, not realizing it was extremely shallow water...oh well...broken legs healed, broken heart healed..head..........yeah....we're not going there! lol
   Great article!

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10. 0

    Poppa Bluesposted 14 years ago

    You know, stuff happens. You fall in love, you fall out of love, and some people can love more than one at a time. Yeah, it hurts, but that is so you can learn to appreciate real love when you find it.
    
    Don't be too hard on her, or yourself. Learn to accept it and move on.

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11. 66

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    I don't understand why Tom just didn't get a refund on the engagement ring and blow the money on strippers and drinks.  He should've just gotten over it.

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       Poppa Bluesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       LOL! That's what I would have done!

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          Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          PoppaB, I thought that's what most normal guys do.

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             Poppa Bluesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             The best way to get over a lover that broke your heart, is to get another lover!

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12. 63

    prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

    It happened before, and it will happen again....these things are not new, we just have to move on and there is still life after this hard things......someone, somewhere out there is waiting for you...

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13. 59

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Such a normal everyday story...
    The guy dives into his own illusion, - can you blame someone for that? Guess no.
    And how could she possibly know what's going on in his mind, what he was planning?

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