As a Christian married man is it a sin to lust in my heart for my wife?
On occasion I um pleasure myself thinking about her. I was wondering though. Am I committing a sin for lusting after her? It doesn't feel like it's wrong but I was wondering what my brothers and sisters in Christ might say.
no, i dont think so. Isn't that what the whole book of Song of Solomon about? But then there are those books in the Old Testament against "spilling your seed" Hey at least it's about your wife. I as a wife would be flattered if my husband told me that.
Yes, you have committed the sin of lust in your heart. You know that God wants you to have sex with her only for the purposes of procreation. You are never to indulge your earthly sinful proclivities. Your brothers and sisters in Christ would think you a very nasty, sinful man, if they knew of your wickedness. Stoning is too good for you. Every time you get a lustful thought, you need to pray to God for strength to cast out those sinful thoughts and to be granted forgiveness. By all means you must stop pleasuring yourself and wantonly spilling your seed -- immediately!
Did I get the religious wacko terminology correct, above?
You have answered your own question, if the Holy Spirit isn't convicting you then you are not sinning.
Now, we don't find any teaching on masturbation in the Bible so where the Bible is silent so must we be silent.
I've be told that humans are the only one of God's creation that have pleasure from their orgasms, that is the sex act is done for pleasure as well as procreation. It is evident that all of the other creatures have sex because of instinct to continue their race, that is to say, animals only have sex when the female is in heat.
God has designed the human body in a wonderful way and sex was the marriage gift of God to man. It is clear from the Bible that sex outside of marriage is a sin, but sex inside of the marriage has other functions than pleasure and procreation. When orgasm is achieved there are 7 hormones released into the body that causes the person to bind with the person they are having the act with, hence the signification of they shall "cleave" or bind to one another and become one flesh.
Contrary to popular belief the sex act between husband and wife is what brings them together and binds the together.
I could not agree more with just passing through. As long as The Holy Spirit is not convicting you, there can be no wrong in it. After all this is the woman you love and married, not some stranger.
gods word says that to lust after ANOTHER mans wife is sinful. Paul alluded to refraining from sex but come together again that the fleshly desires get not, um, out of control.
It is healthy for a husband to lust after his wife, incontinance or abstainance promotes this. It keeps the marriage interesting and the sex life alive. It is good to refrain from sex for a week or more out of the month that ye have not 40 kids.. LOL.. jokin on the 40 kids part, i hope you get what i meant though.
However masterbating is a work of the flesh and needs to be dealt with.
I look at life this way, if god has to leave the room then its definitely wrong. Do you think jesus is sitting in the chair next to you when you are stroking yourself? I don't think so. Jesus has no interest at all in your or mine or anybodies elliminations.
You must control your MB urges so that when your wife comes home you are not sexually satisfied and in that way you truly honor "lusting after her."
hope this helps.
Like others said if you are convicted then you need to bring this up with God and let him answer this question for you.
There is scripture that says the marriage bed should be undefiled, you could probably make a case with that on how you shouldn't masturbate, however, if your wife is aware that you do it and she knows you are thinking of her and if she is not offended in any way than i would say it's ok.
My husband in particular does do this occasionally when I'm not able to be intimate with him. He tells me that he thinks of me as well. This makes me feel good, because I know my husband is still attracted to me.
I don't think you can even call it lust when it is your wife. Marriage is sacred and what goes on between you and her is between you and her. As for the rest of us, the Bible says let everyone mind their own business. If we are truly in Christ, that's what we will do.
Totally agree. Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled. God created marriage and as you said, you can't even call it lust if you are married to that person.
For the simple, like myself. Paul said "If you can't control your urges you should take a wife". If you oggled every/other women that might be a slight to your wife. As is your thoughts are focussed on her. It is admirable. Though over concern with it may throw you off the rails. If your drive is higher than hers and no amount of cold showers, keeping your mind on other things and staying active etc. fails then you might see no alternative to mb. I play a game with, I try to use it for goodness, helping me to relax, and learning control that will help to satisfy partner -therefore selflessness is sought. -Though I don't always manage these goals. To err is human.
I must say I disagree with those who have said, "If the Holy Spirit isn't convicting you, then it's not a sin". Every time we sin, are we convicted? Surely not! We commit sins constantly that we aren't consciously aware of.
However, I would say you aren't "lusting"(as she is your wife), but desiring your wife & no, that's not sinful. God made us to desire & need our partner in life--the husband needs the wife& the wife needs the husband.
Here is a helpful Bible verse:
1 Corinthians 7:1-40
"Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Note this is Paul's opinion and not anything coming from Christ's teachings. You know, even though Paul was struck down, repented, and was then filled with the Holy Spirit, he was still a prick.
I must say , my dear friend....you do have a way with words , and I can't help but agree to the message and meaning of your response. Thanks for the light-hearted remark and the thoughts it brought me.
@BobMonger... Have you forgotten what the bible says in 2Timothy 3:16. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction and for instruction in righteousness. (KJV)
Amen. God's words are in the bible, they never pass away, for they are divine, in 'divine logic' we may best understand, how the Holy Spirit searches the worthy scribes as instruments of His 'divine plan.'
Bob Monger, Paul may have said it, but God created male and female and marriage was His idea.
God does not look upon the marriage bed and I think that is telling us how we please one another in marriage is our own decision with both willing of course but I am sure God would find it a wonderful thing for a man to lust after his own wife since that probably is very unheard of.
Definitely not that's your wife if it was another woman then you are committing a sin. Marriage is honourable in the sight of God and the bed undefiled. That's how we are made up....... so don't worry yourself and keep the taughts to your wife only
I dont think so... as long as it doesnt get between you and your relationship with God, i dont think it is a sin, but I dont know for sure... interesting question
My only question is: Would you do that with your wife in the room? If so, why aren't you?
Let us determine from that answer whether it is right or wrong, after all your body belongs to her (1 Cor. 7:4**) and that may be her call...
- Leviticus 15:16
‘Now if a man has a seminal emission, he shall bathe all his body in water and be unclean until evening.
(Read Leviticus 15:15-17)
- Leviticus 15:17
As for any garment or any leather on which there is seminal emission, it shall be washed with water and be unclean until evening.
- Leviticus 15:18
If a man lies with a woman so that there is a seminal emission, they shall both bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
- Leviticus 15:32
This is the law for the one with a discharge, and for the man who has a seminal emission so that he is unclean by it,
- Leviticus 22:4
No man of the descendants of Aaron, who is a leper or who has a discharge, may eat of the holy gifts until he is clean. And if one touches anything made unclean by a corpse or if a man has a seminal emission,
- Deuteronomy 23:10
“If there is among you any man who is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he must go outside the camp; he may not reenter the camp.
These are the only verses in scripture that I see dealing with anything like this subject.
I don't see a restriction but it does make you unclean. I'd make sure she's okay with it first.
You may both be glad you brought it up...
(** "1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that." -VIA NASB)
Purity is the life-breath of the Supreme and without it, it is impossible to please your Soul, which is itself pure, yet alone God. Still, everything in it's proper place. You may or may not be strong enough to avoid lust, and again, it is the life of desire that will push you through experiences, perhaps, to make spiritual progress.
I would suggest that you pray vocally and silently, ceaselessly and devotedly to God or Jesus. After about two to three months - if not before - of daily prayer, the voice of conscience will begin to talk to you, once you learn to listen well.
It can be a problem if you lust and also a problem if you do not lust. The voice of the inner Pilot will guide you. By all means, do what is necessary: Love, pray, serve. Service will distract you and keep you occupied. God will meet you somewhere along the way. Hope this helps.
Marriage between a man and a woman become one flesh or known as 2 become a union of one another so the answer is no unless one of you divorced over the other that commited adultery...
Unfortunately, sin is sin. And as Christian we live a life where most days we commit at least ten sins. Maybe I'm wrong but I believe that God knows our hearts even when we displace our self in a world of sin.
I don't get it. Why don't you just have sex with your wife? Is she unavailable? Are you pleasuring yourself at work, or in the other room? Does she have a low sex drive, or is yours especially high? There are some unanswered questions here. And no, I do not expect or ask you to answer these questions here on Hubpages. What I am saying is that these are things to think about.
If you are incompatible sexually, I just wonder whether that may lead to problems down the road... like your becoming resentful that she isn't available for you more often, and your ultimately turning to pornography to satisfy your lust? (as a way of not cheating - supposedly). On the other hand, having a strong physical attraction to your wife is a wonderful and healthy thing. However, if you are pleasuring yourself, by yourself, she will find out and begin to wonder why you are not having sex with her.
My best wishes go out to you for a happy marriage. - Savvy
PLEASE lust in your heart for your wife! It will keep you marriage together. It's also a lot better than the alternative, which is to lust in your heart for another woman.
Lust for his wife, will destroy their marriage, not keep them together
Read my answer below
Amen. Being together through thick and thin comes love that lasts forever, it is healthy, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
No, as long as your are not lusting for her sister, cousin or anyone else. She is your wife, you should be devoted to her in every sense of the word.
Lusting for those people isn't wrong. Just no touch, for that could cause bad things.
nope desire becomes wall between you and your spouse, could give birth to sin, become character…lust and finding attractive are two different things. Careful, from the desire, to the action, to the character! Guard your heart, eyes, mouth, hands...
Lust and desire are not the same thing. Lust is selfish and objectifying, desire is holy and natural. Is it wrong to lust for your wife? You bet. Is it wrong to long for her and desire her? Nope. Is self stimulation wrong? Nowhere in the Bible does it say so. So having desire for your wife while self stimulating? I say it's desire, and not lust.
Its never a wrong thing to admire the beauty of your wife,she is ur own forever . A lincens has been given to you when she said to u "YES I DO". In the bible,it is written in PPROVERB 18:22 " he that find a wife findeth a good thing. God is please when you are contented with your wife.
when the bible speaks about lust, it usually refers to fantasizing about a woman or man that does not belongs to you.
at the time you made a vow before God, you now belong to each other. I do not see anything wrong with thinking in whatsover way of your wife. This is normal to want your wife in this way or the other since you do not hurt anyone or being a stumble stone for anyone
This is an interesting question. I'm a Christian, myself, and think that any answer I offer may be seen as me judging you; that's NOT what I'm doing, here. I, personally, don't see anything wrong with you having lust in your heart for your wife. She's your WIFE, for crying out loud! I think that's fine. If you had lust in your heart for another woman, who is not your wife, then we'd have problems.
I do have one question, though: why do you "pleasure" yourself while thinking about her? Why don't you two spend some quality time together and both of you can enjoy the pleasures of marriage?
NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!! NO!!!! the marriage bed is undefiled and also eyes are stayed upon your wife as unto God,
It's not a sin if it is your wife,well its the way you show your love to her..♥ ♥♥
I believe it is natural and okay to have thoughts of your own wife once awhile. We are after all human beings. Part of our lives go to the other party. So, having such thoughts will not be a sin.
She is your wife. I think that's normal for having the feeling of wanting her. You are married couple anyways. And take note: Sex is for Married Couples because it is sacred. So you do not have to worry if you want to get into her pants. Just make sure that you both agree with it or else it may have been turned out as Abuse or Rape. (If you get what I mean).
God gave us sexual desire for a reason, and rejecting one of His gifts is usually not the best thing to do. Embrace the lust.
I grew up in the Christian faith, but no longer am a Christian. However, the fact that the lust you have is for your WIFE is wonderful! I would say, keep that up. Just make sure you are not pleasuring yourself so that you are unable to pleasure her when she is available. What a lucky woman!
Think about it this way buddy, while your "um pleasuring yourself" thinking about your wife.
It's actually your mind, "um pleasuring itself"!lol
So lust resides in the mind, just like all other sins do, they all reside in the ego mind.
Your'l always have an ego mind to some extent, but it just depends how much power you give it, so your'l always have the potential to sin.
Every time you do something you know is wrong, that's your ego mind.
So i say it isn't a sin to do what you did, because it was just your ego mind.
The sin would be if you did it a lot, and stopped sexually satisfying your wife.
That and because you would have conceded defeat, to your ego mind.
A drug addict for example has conceded to his/her mind, so the sin isn't doing drugs, but getting addicted through "not" controlling their ego mind.
I'm not religious to be honest, but i'm starting to "feel" something about it all.
So to me the ego mind is the bad/evil if we concede to it, but if we conquer our mind ego, we're the going with our heart alone good/love.
Or think about it like this, everyone in the world does it!lol :-)
Jan. 29. 2014
Absolutely not! And God created Adam and Eve........and Eve became Adam's helpmate.........,.and companion,............but before God created Eve.............Adam, of course, only had......and what a privilege to have; He had God to talk with and vice versa...........not that God needs to talk with anyone. I mean, he is God, our creator, and he is perfect.......and by himself he is whole. But, yet God created man to have "fellowship" with him,........in other words to be able to enjoy him, here, on earth and in eternity in Heaven,.......and God has given you, your beautiful wife,.....and the two of you have now become "one".........and you are "united," you are "together," you are able to "fellowship" with your beautiful wife and to treasure her and to love her, just as God loves both you and your wife, individually, and that is a "beautiful relationship," that God ordained, even before you were born. God is love, and you are made in God's image,.......and there is nothing wrong with "desiring" your wife! I think, it's beautiful that you think about your wife and that you desire her.......and I would think that she would feel very complimented by your advances towards her. That is, unless, God forbid, she has a cold or something and then, you know, she needs to rest. But, overall, no, ....it is not a sin to desire your wife! God bless the both of you and your family!
How lovely that your wife is the one who inhabits your dreams and fantasies. I would think that is a compliment to her and your relationship.
What has your religion got to do with it other than the ideas you hold in your mind as to what you think might be right or wrong? It doesn't really matter if you are a religious zealot or a complete athiest, your sexual urges are completely natural and found right throughout Nature. Accept those urges. They are part of your very being as a human being. Put aside thoughts of guilt. If you are not harming another person either physically or emotionally, you are doing no wrong.
If there are times when your 'lust' - as your put it - after your wife and she is not available to you in a sexual way for some reason or another there is nothing sinful in masturbing. It,too, is quite natural. Certainly monkeys do it and I doubt they feel the least bit sinful.
The rules of ethical behaviour apply, of course, in all of our dealings with other living things, and very much including our fellow human beings. Treat others as you would like to be treated is a very sound injunction, whether it come from a founder of a great religion or the local baker or lawn-mower man.
What your 'brothers and sisters in Christ' have to say will depend upon their own biased opinions (all opinions are biased, by the way) If they're prudes and have all manner of hangups about sex, they'll be critical (and probably frustrated sexually in their own lives) It is how YOU feel that counts. So rest easy. You're doing nothing wrong.
May the Holy Spirit guide you Tom. Money and all things passing are imperfect, but God's words are perfectly eternal, they live forever, active and alive. But the flesh and things passing, die with the flesh. The spirit of truth lives w God forever
Never sinful to lust after your wife! That is why you married her - if you were lusting after your neighbours wife I'd be concerned.
This is what the Catholic Religion is well known for, creating GUILT!
Love your wife and enjoy life.
Anne, may we not judge the church, blessed by Jesus in Saint Peter, Peter as the first pope. The Catholic church is here 2 enlighten d astray, that more may see God's love n mercy in their hearts. Blessings 2 you Anne that you may see the light.
It is allowable tol lust after your own wife. Solomon in the Song Of Solomon lusts after his wife. It would be wrong if you were to lust after another woman. But when it comes to your wife, it is okay.
Absolutely not... if you can't lust after your own wife, and do all the sexual things you want to do together, then with who? God wants the two of you to have a fulfilling sex life, and there's no greater compliment you can give her than to lust after her!
Ahhhhh religious guilt.
If only Jesus was around to tell everyone they they have entirely misrepresented all the lessons he was trying to share with the world.
I would follow a man like Jesus. But I don't follow the massively torn apart and wrong dissected, over indulgent view of him that has been corrupted by humans over the centuries.
Go back to base my friend. The lessons Jesus taught have been lost.
OH YOU SINNER. THO HAS A DEVILS BULGE. SHAMEFUL BOY. GO TO CONFESSION W YOUR WIFE IN YOUR LAP. PRIEST WILL TAKE DELIGHT.
God bless you Greg Dean as the Spirit of God may enlighten you about the truth, 'pride is sin leading to hatred and arrogance, where selfishness belongs. Common sense, Jesus will not die for us to let us know the power of forgiveness - Jesus lives.
Should you ask your wife this queston chances are she'll tell you the greater sin would be NOT to show a little lust.
Lust is not sin when done as one flesh. Marriage between husband and wife makes them one flesh, that no malice should emanate form their oneness, where Christ is center, who can be against this truth, evil w malice will go against this eternal truth
I dont think so. You should let your wife know about it. Am pretty sure she will be happy that even in your private moment you are thinking of her and only her
No. It's a compliment to your wife and your relationship in your marriage! It just means you realize how much you really love her. No woman, can be upset, if they know how their husband really feel for them, coming from the heart!
I believe the reason why some people believe it is wrong to "lust" after their wife is because they have lusted against Gods will before. Yes it's in our nature to have sexual thoughts. We are human. God does state however that "lust" can only be commited if it's with someone other than your spouse. This means it's ok to have all the sexual fantasies you would like now that you are married; at the same time if u feel guilty going so, you may not want to seeing that it may effect you and have a bad effect on you spreading good news to people.
It's completely natural (and awesome) that you're lusting after your wife. You should start worrying if you're lusting after a woman who isn't your wife. That's when it becomes a bad thing.
I disagree that his lust is "Awesome" read my answer below for a Bible perspective, and a different way of looking at it
When you do it with your wife, it is healing and spiritual, it is beyond natural for it is divine. The gift of life are in children, loving them is loving God, so is loving the wife, as God loves His church.
Biologically, if you weren't lusting for her you probable wouldn't have married her. In the end that is all you need to worry about. Plus if it doesn't feel wrong it probable isn't wrong.
lust? what kind of lust? because if it is purely out of your own sexual desire without pure love, then it's a sin.
Marriage is a sared bond and a mutual agreement between husbans and wife.
I will narrate a quote:-
Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.
so, conclusively there is no LUST factor involved. In fact LUST is an improper word for a hubby to use for his spouse.
I think that that is the only time "lust" would be allowed. The only issue I could see is if they are immoral thoughts about your wife, or sinful situational thoughts. But having a healthy desire for you wife is the way God intended it.
The Bible teaches that to Lust after the Flesh is a Sin.
We are to Walk in the Spirit, not the flesh.
The Bible teaches that Sin leads to death.
Obviously as a married couple you may freely satisfy each others physical needs, wants, and desires.
Sin is not merely a moral issue as is commonly taught, as most churches and secular leaders might teach.
People of the time of the Bible writings were scientifically immature and ignorant.
Only in our current Scientific Age, may we begin to understand the true implications in a scientific sense.
As Einstein taught us: E = mc2. Everything is Energy - energy related!
Sin is Primarily an Energy issue.
Sin causes Energy Blockages in the subtle energy channels of the Human Body. Blockages cause dis-ease (imbalance) in the energy flows of the body. Too much Sin, leads to dis-ease and death.
Ultimately it is learned that all Sin starts in the mind as thoughts.
Sin then may proceed from thoughts, to words, and finally deeds.
(Mat 5:28 KJV) But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery (a sin) with her already in his heart.
The Sin starts with the thought - the desires of the flesh in the physical world. Again the Bible says we are to Walk in the Spirit - not the Flesh.
The ultimate goal would be to not Sin by thought, word, or deed.
(No one said that to obey the Word of God is easy, even if it sounds simple.)
The issue is not whether they can or have a legal right to have sex, the issue is a thought process (Lust) that in the physical domain leads to path of imbalance that results in physical death. If you can't get the real issue, you can't solve it.
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