So often I have heard about "love at first sight" but, how does one differentiate between the lust born from chemical response (Pheromones) and love that will last a lifetime?
Love at first sight is caused by seeing one's anima or animus in the person one falls in love with. The infatuation lasts as long as the projection........ usually about 6 weeks in my opinion and that of Carl Jung's.
Some people remain stuck in the projection for a whole lifetime as in the song "Delta Dawn"
When my husband fell in love with me at first sight he wasn't exactly noticing my animus.
Any husband fool enough to admit what I just did is suicidal.
I know one can fall head over heels in love with the anima and then discover that they love the person when they get to know them.
You are a lucky gal to have that happen, it is like winning the lotto.
earnest, what is the signifigance of the "six" weeks?
Well, with constant contact it takes about that long for the projection to fail in enough ways for the veil of mind fog to lift.
After that little annoyances emerge, he/she doesn't look as stunning first thing in the morning or vomiting over the toilet any more, and the love bug gets up and leaves.
What seperates love from lust-answer-about 6"
Maybe the love of being with someone and talking about everything and anything.
Good point. Communication has to be a very large part of any lasting relationship. Although, my oldest brother has been known to have some pretty deep conversations with women only to leave them with a broken heart after taking care lust. It's like he knows women need that mental and emotional connection, so he gives them what they need, only it's really a convincing manner to achieve conquest. He is a nice guy, but I'm not sure any guy can find that true unconditional love...
That first reaction where you are physically attracted, head over heels, butterflies in your stomach... that is LUST
LOVE grows. It doesn't hit you on the head like lust does. For you to fall in love you need to give the relationship time. It comes with interaction, getting to know each other, supporting each other, and so on.
"it's really a convincing manner to achieve conquest"
Common it's pretty low-life and cannot be called nice, even if he is in every other way. Anyway - speaks to the individual and not to the concept.
Nicely said, "speaks to the individual and not to the concept."
@ klarawieck: I tend to find your explanation for love vs lust to be something women appreciate more than men; I may well be wrong. I have found in speaking to the men in my life (and from ALL walks of life) that the lust is first in line for them. Married guys, single guys, gay guys, and even guys who profess celibacy are haunted by some level of need to quench lust. For them, love only becomes important after this need is met. I'm not sure I have encountered many women who feel the same?
He actually is a nice guy now, he learned that love is much better than lust; still he does harbor that lingering lust thing that guys carry with them throughout their lives.
At my age I am just glad I still have my lust. I am no lust buster, but strictly vicarious of course.
LOL! And that's exactly what i'm saying! You may now be vicarious in your lust, but it still lingers for you.
That's a great question -- I'll let you know after my next "lucky" night (or afternoon - who cares time of day) :-)
Actually -- lust happens fast and easy, love grows.... yet I've experienced Love Growing "almost" as fast as lust.
Is there an answer that fits every circumstance? - I think not as each circumstance is different!
Neil, you may have the best point of all; finding a single answer for this is going to be near impossible because answers are going to be vastly different from one compared to another.
I really dig your description, "lust happens fast and easy, love grows"...brilliant, and possibly (if there is one) the only right answer.
Lust is natures way of getting us together with random people to propogate the species, love is why we keep one now and then.
LOL - love is why we keep one now and then...... so true
@ recommend1; I admire your truthful response... LMAO...and cringing a little at the same time!
lust is usually ruled by the senses; love is always mindful
we all really need both - but at certain times in life one is better than the other, I think, although I admit it has been hard for me to tell them apart sometimes. Now I would settle for some mindless lust in a heartbeat
would I be pondering it ? is this lust? or love? hmmmmmm . . . oh no, I'd just be jumpin on it!
"I'd just be jumpin' on it!"...Absolutely awesome! Funny stuff!
I appreciate your remarks that lust is ruled by the senses and love is always mindful. Very deep.
Do you think these two extremes can cross paths on their way to the other? Meaning, can love become lust? or does lust only become love?
I like my love seasoned liberally (and I do mean "liberally") with lotsa steamy lust. But that's just me. I have no idea what is good for me. Can't you tell? How about you? love with the other, or without?
Oh - and its always best if all of it is mutual!
basically, I have never attempted to separate lust from love - if it isn't there, that's ok, but if it is, hummmmm baby!
I live for the moments when the two become one! Nothing better.
You are hilarious btw, and I am so grateful for your "Diva-eloping" humor throughout HP! Thanks for playing along.
Love gives. Lust takes.
Very well said RF.
Thanks . . . I think it is basic.
A little give and take can be ok, too, in some cases.
We can recall Vivian Ward would not kiss on the mouth because she said, "It's too personal". I believe this is true and for me and would answer your query as to what divides lust from love.
I'd agree with Julia Robert's character and expound that if I do not want to kiss you, then I know deep down I do not love you.
I firmly believe that claiming to love somebody without having any respect for that person is lust.
Love has to have respect for that someone special. Loving somebody just for money, style, power and other materialistic things demeans the value of the most beautiful feeling called love. In my opinion demeaning love is lust.
Quite an interesting concept shampa. Demeaning anyone for any reason has to come from a truly weak place within someone. If a person needs to cause another discomfort or pain on any level it is time to take a good look at the eyes within the mirror. The value of love can not be measured by these mean spirited individuals, that would only dampen its grace.
Love to me means a lasting relationship and lust is more a one night stand which I would personally never want!
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