Why do homosexuals always feel the need to talk about their sexuality?

1. 74

   IntimatEvolutionposted 13 years ago

   Why do homosexuals always feel the need to talk about their sexuality?
   
   Homosexuals it seems talk about sex all the time.  If it isn't sex then it is their sexuality, and they chatter away about it way more than straight peopledo.  Why do they do that?  Are their lives only perpelled by sexual conversations?

   replyreport
2. 77

   BukowskiBabeposted 13 years ago

   Well, perhaps it's a man thing.  Serioulsy, have you ever heard two heterosexual men boast? lol, I hate to put down the other gender...sorry guys,but I think it may be a gender issue.

   replyreport
3. 80

   Wayne Brownposted 13 years ago

   You have likely hit on the essence of the issue. Why is that my wife and I are not sitting out in front of the grocery store every weekend with our tongue down each other's throat...because we do not need to prove that we are hetrosexual and the folks at the grocery store really appreciate that fact.  I have no gripe with homosexual individuals as long as they keep their love life off my sleeve. I don't want to see people at the grocery story proving how much they love each other or how much they deserve to be together....have some respect for those around you.  The marriage issue is over the top with the gay crowd but in essence it is not about marriage at all.  As a public they really want us to think that it is but the fact of the matter is that it is about acceptance.  I could give a damn less if they get married but keep it out of my face.. I don't need to see you swallow tongues down at the Kroger to get the idea that you think that you are in love. True love is not a function of legal marriage; it is not a function of those around you approving what you do; true love is not giving a tinker's damn about what anyone else thinks except the other person whom you are in love with.  If you have to parade it up and down the street.  If Joe has to say that is is okay.  If the local grocery store manager has to be out of his mind crazy over the fact that you are in love with someone of your own sex...then, if that is what you need to stay in that game, you have a problem and it is not about being gay.  WB

   replyreport
4. 57

   Larry Geeposted 13 years ago

   I think it's rather ironic that you're on HubPages and evidently feeling the need to talk about their sexuality as well. Perhaps you understand more than you think why someone might want to talk about it?
   
   
   
   Joking aside... are you absolutely sure that it is, in fact, ALL homosexuals everywhere, and not, perhaps, simply the one's you've met. Or overheard? Or perhaps seen on television?

   replyreport
5. 60

   thebrucebeatposted 13 years ago

   BukowskiBabe seems to have part of the answer correct.  Men love to talk about sex.  They swap stories, histories, hopes, fantasies.
   
   Don't know where Wayne lives.  I lived in NYC and saw precious little of the behavior he describes.  Hand holding maybe.  I see no reason why they should live their lives in hiding, however.  A straight couple kiss each other goodbye as they leave the subway and go their seperate ways to work, and noone thinks twice about it.  Should gays be any different?
   
   So I can't really answer the question as written, as it is preloaded with a prejudice that makes its premise false.  I don't see the gay community talking sex any more than other people do.  The question contains a false premise.
   
   As for them talking about their sexuality, that is a reaction to attacks from straight people regarding who they are.  If you were constantly under attack for a critical part of who you are, you would have two choices.  Put your tail between your legs and take the beating, or fight back, and fighting back in this case means increasing awareness and understanding, and that requires talking about it.  Heteros don't face these challenges.

   replyreport
6. 82

   kerrygposted 13 years ago

   My experience has been the opposite of yours, I guess. I haven't noticed that homosexuals talk about sex any more than straight people. Maybe it just stands out more in your head because it's "weird" sex, kind of like the way two homosexuals kissing in a movie get the same rating (R) as a fairly graphic heterosexual straight scene, and a comparably graphic homosexual sex scene will get the movie landed with an NC-17.
   
   Personally, I'm offended by anyone - gay or straight - shoving their tongues down each other's throats in public, but even when we lived in San Francisco I saw very few displays of homosexual affection more graphic than holding hands or a quick peck in greeting or parting. Few people would think twice about a straight couple doing either of the above, so I fail to see how a gay couple doing them should be considered rubbing it in anyone's face.

   replyreport
7. 61

   Sarah Schultheissposted 13 years ago

   Being a lesbian myself, out in public with my partner, there maybe a few clues, but I believe in being discrete, and that goes for straight or not, married or not and if I want some to know I am a lesbian, I will introduce my partner as girlfriend and leave it at that, if I don't want you to know I will introduce her as my friend.
   It is one thing to be proud of yourself and who you are and just being annoying and obnoxious.
   So I would have to say the reason is they won't to annoy the piss out of us or they are like an infant who cries to get attention and the more you ignore them the louder they cry.
   Okay, maybe that is a little unfair but really, Take a march in a few parades, show up when your vote is needed and leave the bedroom in the bedroom

   replyreport
8. 66

   RKHenryposted 13 years ago

   Maybe they are looking for acceptance at every turn.  But I hear what you are saying Julie.  I also think there is a little bit of truth in the male gender explanation.  But it does seem like their sexuality always takes forefront in their conversations.  It gets old.  I have never known you to be prejudice, just plain spoken and anyone who accuses you as such is just baiting you or are trolling their way through.  Because it they knew you and read your hubs they see    a different view.  But this question does have some stereotyping undertones.  Which I know you didn't mean.
   But yeah back to your question, it does seem to be on their minds a little too much.  I think it is an acceptance issue.  And, I agree Wayne, this question does hit the nail on the head as to why many straight people do not want gay marriages and homosexual activity being seen on a sitcom, or in the news, etc...

   replyreport
9. 60

   shannajsposted 13 years ago

   You know, I think it depends on the person stability in their choice. My husband has a few cousins that are (one who is in a very committed life relationship with his partner) and I worked with two guys that were very committed to each other and they never have talked about their sex lives in front me or glorify themselves for being homosexual. They live lives like ordinary couples do. The only experience I've had with people bragging about it or consistantly talking about their sex lives was in high school and one boy was overly open about it. I think it was more for attention than anything. I think he wanted to be out of the crowd, and in a school as small and as conservative as ours was, I think he felt he had a point to prove more than feelings of wanted to be committed to someone.
   
   I don't view this as a question about holding hands or small kisses (simple signs of affection). I think its more about the PG-13 to R public displays of affection. I don't know if homosexuals do it anymore than heterosexual couples, or if it's more obviously because there aren't as many openly homosexual couples as there hereosexual couples. Quite honestly I've seen plenty of heterosexual couples being way too friendly in public (I even walked in a bathroom at the mall that apparently was supposed to be a scene for the next top porno). I think it's just more obvious with them because it's not seen as often and is still considered taboo in society.

   replyreport
10. 60

    calpol25posted 13 years ago

    As a gay man my answer that we sometimes talk about our gender as a defense mechanism as to put some one at ease as they may be unsure if we are gay or not.
    
    However I do not believe in ramming my gender down peoples throats or heterosexuals doing the same to me as this would make me as bad as the other.

    replyreport
11. 48

    BSW66posted 13 years ago

    As a gay man I don't always talk about sex and my seuality. Unless you mean when I say my husband. My other gay friends  don't always talk about it either. It's been my experience that both gay and hetro people talk about sex about the same amount.  Think about this every time you say my boy friend or husband you're expressing your sexuality. It could be that your gay friends feel safe in your company so they feel free to talk about their sexuality. Gays have to be very cautious when they speak about their sexuality for fear of reprocusions, like being assulted. Unlike you and your boy friend. If it bothers you just say to your friends gay and straight that your uthe topic of sex and sexuality makes you uncomfortable and you would like to talk about something else. If you respect them they will respect you in return

    replyreport
12. 53

    ericswposted 13 years ago

    Wow, I don't know where you live or who you hang with, but it isn't with me or my friends for sure.
    I'm gay and I don't talk all the time about being gay and I certianly do not talk about sex all the time (except with a very few certian very close friends who I confide in).
    The only possible exception I can think of would be how you define talking about our sexuality.
    If you think that mentioning my husband is talking about my sexuality....well then you're tapped in the head to even be bringing it up.  I work with all straight people and we're all married or in relationships.  We all at one time or another mention our spouses.  If that's what you consider chattering away about my sexuality....then straight people who mention their spouses should stop too!
    What a sad world we would live in if we all had to hide ourselves from eachother and not fully experience life and people.  And...how sad that there are people who want everyone to actually live their lives hidden and in shame.
    Eric

    replyreport
13. 84

    K9keystrokesposted 13 years ago

    
    
    I don't think all homosexual conversations are propelled by sexual content. In reality, we are more apt to discuss our political conditions, educational aspirations, our partners successes, our personal career goals, our children's latest achievements, how our pets are doing, a great recipe we found, an awesome sale, and on occasion a tid-bit surrounding a special intimate moment that has warmed our hearts, just like any other well adjusted, socially healthy and appropriate human being would. So, for you to claim that "Homosexuals it seems talk about sex all the time" would be your perception, and not the actuality of the community at large. More often then not, those few extreme folks (from ANY social grouping) will stand out seemingly representing the moral and traditional standards for that group. This is how the extreme perceptions of Dumb Red Necks, Black Gangsters, White Power Supremest, Black Power Supremest, Hateful Evangelical Christians, Cheap Hasidic Jews, Terroristic Muslims, and just about any other group that has a sub-grouping more willing to be expressive and fearless for their beliefs in an outward manner.
    Honestly, I have heard many conversations of businessmen in the office break area who talk graphically about their sexual conquests with women more often than I have ever heard a grouping of LGBTQ folks discuss the topic of their sexual exploits. Well, unless I am at a White Party in Spring...
    Cheers~
    K9

    replyreport
14. 59

    WookieWonderfulsposted 12 years ago

    I guess it stands out more with gay people.
    
    I am gay, I don't talk about sex 24/7 neither would I.
    
    When meeting somebody new I will drop a few hints on my sexuality but this is because I don't want to build a really great relationship, only to find that a couple of months down the line that person wants nothing to do with me because they don't agree with homosexuality.

    replyreport
15. 52

    JennyAngelposted 7 years ago

    I am a lesbian, and from my side of the story, the loud ones are usually not the for sure homosexuals.  They're usually the curious ones. I went to a high school mixed with middle schoolers, and you could tell the younger, more quiet lesbians from the louder more bi-curious ones. In generalization.

    replyreport