What's your approach to friends who have received bad news?
We have some friends who have received extremely bad news about their upcoming pregnancy. How have you approached people you know when you know something bad is happening to them? Do you dodge the issue? Approach it head-on?
I approach things head-on. I would ask about it, if they don't want to talk about it that's fine. You never know unless you ask. When they tell you, you put yourself in their shoes. I would ask how they are faring with the issue, if they need anything or if there's anything I could do to help. Then I would let them know I am here to just listen, or give advice, or help cope. Some people who get bad news get angry. Let them vent to you, sometimes people cope better when they vent.
Love, patience and letting them mourn in private if that's their way: "mourn" in terms of loss or regret or whatever...
If they are friends, good or bad news, I would immediately acknowledge the news. It is a gesture of support - you care, you share, you're there. Your friends will probably move through several emotional stages. Initially, they may not answer calls, I would leave a message. In a couple of days, I would try again. As your friends try to sort things out they will need and appreciate your support. I hope your friends can find some comfort with family and friends at such a sad time.
sympathy. wishing i could make them feel better, and hopefully doing so.
Bad news about pregnancy is a very sensitive subject. People deal with loss differently. Depending on how close you are to your friends, approaching them head-on may not be the best thing to do in this instance. I've been there, and I just wanted to be left alone for a while. Give them time to grieve.
You can have a bouquet of flowers with a sympathy card (letting them know they are in your thoughts and prayer) attached and delivered to them.
When they are ready to talk, you'll probably hear from them.
i try to always remember it isnt about me or how i feel about it, its about my friend,... all of my friends are different so how i would deal with it with one would be totaly inapropriate with another,...
i most often let my friend come to me and they will let me know how THEY want to deal with it, and we'll deal with it how ever THEY are comfortable... but i have always been the person that others come to.
i expect no less of my friends in how they have suported me at times,.... thats what makes us friends,.. anything less would be for other people, not friends.
if i were to have NO IDEA how to help my friend handle bad news or loss or some other catastrophic event in their life,.... it would probubly set me to thinking on how well i realy know this person i claim is my friend....
and i would set myself to getting to know them better,... or i would stop kidding myself and others about who my friends are.
(a note here to say that i dont mean to sound harsh or that i'm implying anything,... i've had this moment in life,... and it forced me to get to know one of my friends better,.. and i'm the better for it,... in another instance it made me realize who my friends were,.. and who they werent)
It depends on the people and the situation.
I tend to let my friends know I will always be there for them, and offer them a listening ear and a caring shoulder when they need to vent, a helping hand when they are in trouble and a good talk when they feel bad about something.
They know they can rely on me, and I usually just ask them what I can do to help them best.
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