What do you do when your husband constantly overrules you and always has to be right?
tell him to grow a pair. men like that bother the heck out of me because they try to act like they are tough or dominant but in reality they are weak . smack him.
I agree with nightwork4. I tend to tell him his not always right which normally ends up in a row but i always overrule him now days i will not be told what to do by him and his not always right he just thinks he is. He takes after the rest of the family they think they know everything!!! Bloody men!!! lol x
Unless this is a "new trait" he has developed the odds are he was like this (before) you married him. Very possibly it was a characteristic you admired at first. A "take charge" kind of guy. Qualities that attract us initially have a way of becoming turn offs overtime. Here are a couple of options that come to mind.
1. I'm a firm believer that people change when THEY want to change. You can go ahead and sit down with him to explain why you feel he is not treating you like an "adult" who is an "equal partner". (You may want to "blow up" each time it happens from there on) At some point he may come to realize every time I say or do "A" then she does "B". Eventually someone gives up. Don't let it be you.
2. Stop looking for his approval or seeking to compromise. Do whatever you feel is best. In order to be seen as an equal you have to behave as though you are equal. My guess is he does not run everything past you before making a decision.
3. If you rule out options 1 & 2 then you need to ask yourself one very important question, "Why am I staying with a man who treats me like a child and could care less about what I think or feel about things?"
Bottom line: "If you want something different, YOU have to do something different."
"When we change our circumstances change." - Best of luck!
Is it a a fact, or perhaps a perception that your husband "constantly overrules" you? If you adopt the attitude that you are always the loser, you feed him your perception that he is always the winner. If you state your opinion, and keep cool--no argument, no waiting for his approval, perhaps a smile or a wink--he'll be the frustrated one. He won't be overruling then.
You have gotten some really good advice here, and I do agree that you have to try as hard as you can on a relationship. However, if there is just no compromise and no progress, there may just not be anything you can do -- it's who he is. When I finally decided that I couldn't put up with it, I didn't deserve it, and that nothing was ever going to change -- I found a new husband. Of course, he undermined me in much worse ways before I finally left. It's the only truly surefire way to "change your husband." My husband and I are now very happy together, and he'll be the first to admit that there is plenty he doesn't know and that I tend to think things through better.
Thanks heaps for the response. The problem is that when I try and argue my point he starts yelling at me and saying its over, we should separate. I now am at the point that I don't bother to argue, as it is frightening when he gets like this. I will now shut up and say nothing. I have very strong views and am a strong person, but somehow he manages to make me cry.
I had my own Security business for 18 years, I know how to handle myself verbally and physically, but when it comes to emotional, NO.
I walk away and let him go on his rant about whatever it is, and most of the time it is such a small thing that you ask yourself WHY is he going on about it.
Many times I have laughed at him, only to find it got him madder at me.
I can't seem to win either way.
Well, it is sometimes hard with our men right?..But What if you can start to communicate, more direct, not indirect, maybe it could help.
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