Is it fair to always chase your significant other?

1. 60

   Silent Sinnerposted 13 years ago

   Is it fair to always chase your significant other?
   
   I have been in my relatioship on and off for two years. When we fight I am constantly chasing after him and I am always the first to give in. I love him and I am willing to fight to stay with him , but shouldn't he do the same?

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2. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   Apparently you are more "emotionally invested" in the relationship than he is. There's no reason for mature adults to constantly be "on and off" in a relationship. Your statement, "I love him and I am willing to fight to stay with him.."  "shouldn't he do the same?" Your real questions should be...
   "Why do I insist on staying in a relationship with a man who is (clearly not as committed to it) as I am?"
   If you want something different, YOU have to do something different.
   You'll know when you've met "the one" because he will also recognize you as being "the one"! True love is about (meeting) in the middle and not (chasing). Based upon what you have written it doesn't sound like he's "the one" for you.
   Best of luck!

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3. 69

   SweetMocha-Monroeposted 13 years ago

   Relationships should be mutual. Misunderstandings should be handled with maturity and should not resort to one chasing the other one. Men handle situations differently from women and most do not like to fight. They would much rather remove themselves from the hostility until the both of you calm down. Anyone should stand their ground; but, once you make your point regardless if they agree or not leave it alone. Giving in does not mean giving up, it means you are chosing to fight another day. Some things and people are not worth fighting for; the only one to make that decision is you.

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4. 84

   wychicposted 13 years ago

   Simple answer -- no, it's not fair. He is under no obligation to listen to you right now, and moving away from the fight may be his way of dealing with it. My ex used to follow me all the time during a fight, because he didn't feel it could end until he won. I'd already heard his side, and I needed time to calm my emotions and think about what he said -- but no matter how clearly I tried to communicate that to him, he'd still follow me wherever I went and continue to yell. No matter how deep of a relationship you're in, you are still both separate people with the rights of any individual. During a time when you're not fighting, it may be helpful to discuss some of the behavior that each of you feels is and is not acceptable during a fight, and set clear lines so that he can remove himself from the situation to calm down if he needs to, but that after both sides are calm then you come back and discuss it like civilized adults. Here is a hub I wrote about arguing that may come in useful:
   
   http://wychic.hubpages.com/hub/Proper-E … or-Arguing

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5. 70

   onegoodwomanposted 13 years ago

   "chase my mate".........no, I think not.
   
   Isn't "MY MATE" the very one who stands beside me, even when our diffences, (and we will differ,  in a lifetime together) appear?
   
   
   Should, I have to "chase" him down, to "remind" him ?

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