Do you get annoyed if your spouse/partner cannot keep their hands off of you?

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   fitmomposted 12 years ago

   Do you get annoyed if your spouse/partner cannot keep their hands off of you?
   
   My husband is constantly groping. He thinks that I'm lucky because he is always wanting to touch me. He says that lots of men don't want to touch their wives. So, is he right? Should I feel lucky??
   
   

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2. 70

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   I believe people treat their mates the way they want to be treated.
   The majority of women tend to underestimate how much men would love to feel "desired" or "lusted" after by their women. That kind of physical attention, flirting, or sexual innuendo actually (makes a man feel loved and special). Any guy would feel "lucky" to have a woman that makes him feel she can't get enough of him! (Women are used to being pursued so they don't place a high value on it.) Us men tend to forget being desired is nothing special to women. As I said we give what we want. Having our women crave/desire us is a dream come true!
   Most women think if they make themselves "available" to have sex when he wants to then they are (doing their part) to show him love. There is a major difference between (reacting) and (initiating). If one person always has to make the first move sooner or later they will start to wonder what would happen if they didn't. I suspect your huband would love it if YOU touched him a lot more.
   Awhile back I wrote a hub on this topic called "Sex and The Married Man" http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/marriedmenandsex

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      fitmomposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      My husband likes you. He emphatically agreed. His appetite for sex is unending. Funny enough, years ago (before kids) when I would touch him, he'd push me aside and get annoyed. The difference is that we have kids now and I censor what they see.

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   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   If we are fighting, I hate it when he constantly touches me. But he is quite modest in public. The only touch I will get in public is a brush of the arm or one arm around me when sitting.
   
   If he touches you too much and you are not comfortable with it in public, put him in his place. Let him know how you feel.

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      fitmomposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      My main concern is being appropriate in front of our children. I have to constantly remind him when the girls are awake to be decent. Thank you for sharing, Iburmaster!

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   isenhower33posted 12 years ago

   I dont see the constant need for it. But thats just me, i dont need you all over me to know whether you love me or not. I guess some guys are sensitive like that. I want my space just like a girl wants hers at times. Too much in public is def a turn off to me.

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      fitmomposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I guess everyone is different. I know what you mean. Thanks for sharing, isenhower33!

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5. 60

   Sherri92posted 12 years ago

   My husband is the EXACT same way!  He says the same thing to me all the time too & tells me I should feel lucky!  He says he wants me to grope him too but to be honest, I'm always running around the house cleaning, cooking, or taking care of the kids & everything that I literally don't have time to stop & grope him!  But like dashingscorpio says, that's what he probably wants from me and I should maybe slow down and pay more attention to him.  I also don't really like to do that in front of our daughters either, but it is healthy for them to see us kiss once in a while.  Maybe we should let the dishes and laundry sit for a minute, they aren't going anywhere anyway and pay more attention to our husband's?  There are just so many more responsibilities for me to have done around the house than my husband that it gets difficult for me to make everyone happy.

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      IonOceanposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I am the same way with my wife, I enjoy touching her, but after several years of marriage, I understand that my timing is more important than the act itself.  I do not like to be bothered while I'm working, and when cooking supper, she doesnt either!

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      fitmomposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm glad to know I'm not the only one, Sherri92! I don't mind hugging and kissing in front of the kids...it's when it gets to be more sexual that I don't think it's right. It's so hard to make everyone happy. What about mommy being happy??

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   Old Empresarioposted 12 years ago

   No and yes. Sorry; there is no easy solution to any marriage problem, including this one. The best advice I can offer is that you read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr John Gottman. If you want to skip to the Gottman Dialogue on chapter 10, you can do that. The key is to get him to understand the reasons you feel the way you feel and for you to understand the reasons he feels the way he feels. When you can have empathy for one another, you can sort this issue out.
   
   In my own experience, my wife likes to be touched all the time. She doesn't use terms like "grope" to describe it, so there may be a serious reason why you feel like you are being "groped" or manhandled. Again, I would just get the book to sort out.

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      fitmomposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your advice, Old Empresario. I'll have to check that book out. We've definitely discussed how we both feel. It's just a difference of what's appropriate in front of the kiddos. Thank you for sharing!

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