Whats your best advice for a friend who doesn't want to let go of an abusive or

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (6 posts)
  1. mytwin profile image61
    mytwinposted 6 years ago

    Whats your best advice for a friend who doesn't want to let go of an abusive or cheating partner?

    I have met so many people (mostly women) who wont break up with their partners even thought they cheat and lie. When I ask them why they have stayed they just say "but I love him".

  2. MartyCT profile image57
    MartyCTposted 6 years ago

    Its difficult because they probably feel they can change the person and that if they let go, then they have failed and its their fault it ended, probably also blaming themselves that their partner cheated in the first place.  The self esteem goes out the window and then they can't see them self as a person another man would want, so they choose to stay where they are.

    Another thing is, people who are cheated on or told them should leave their partner, get very defensive about their partner, making excuses for them.  Its a touchy subject to get on with these woman because it could easily get out of control and end up with you losing a friend.

    The person has 2 choices, leave or stay, leave and accept the cheater for who they are, and accept cheating in the relationship (dont complain constantly they cheat bla bla, you are the reason you are still in the relationship that has a cheater).  Leave and accept that you only have one life and the more years you spend with a cheater is wasted years, because you will regret not leaving when you are old and you cannot get your youth or the years lost back.

    Its really simple, once a cheater see's you are staying with them, they take it that you accept their cheating ways, they wont stop, and anybody that stays in that relationship is a fool, you deserve and can find so much better, the trick is to get these people to see that for themselves, then they will make the right choice.

  3. cobrien profile image77
    cobrienposted 6 years ago

    Familiarity is comforting. Some people don't adjust to change very well or are afraid of change.

  4. lburmaster profile image84
    lburmasterposted 6 years ago

    Tell them to wake up. What has he done to say he loves you back? Do they really mean that he loves you? No. Most people THINK others love them or have convinced themselves they love the other person when really they do not. This is usually seen in women who desire having someone with them at all times as a partner and go to pieces if they do not have someone to lean on. It makes them safe, gives them a safety net.
    My boyfriend's mother is a perfect example. She has been convinced her boyfriend is cheating on her for the last year and a half. They have been dating for two years. She always has a man and every relationship goes poorly because of something she did in an attempt to keep the man or fix a problem in the relationship that she believed existed.
    They seem helpless to the actions during this relationship and unable to realize what they are doing to the relationship. If they do realize the damage they cause, they do not attempt to fix or aid it.
    Beware of these women. They come with stress, drama, and conflict over what does not exist and push things out of porportion.

  5. juiwei2000 profile image60
    juiwei2000posted 6 years ago

    I just wrote a hub on this topic, I have seen women in this arena before and their behavior lead me to my interest in the study of female psychology in the related field and did some study in this arena, while in collage.  In abstact, it has a lot to do with value, they were taught to believe in while growing up, girls are been taught a lot of none sense/distorted perspective in regards to love, life and happiness in the western world, while growing up, especially in catholic schools (satistically, speaking girls that goes to catholic school has the lowest trun out rate, in persuing higher educating or going into the work force, then any girls that went to any other form of schools, despite the fact these catholic school girl, generally demostrate the same level of talent in these arena, as any other girls.)  Satistically speaking, these distorted perspective, that have been taught to girls, has result in a situation, where up to 40% of western woman, at some stage been in a physical or emotional abusive relationship, we in the west, has the highest rate of abusive to woman, in the world!!!

    Anyway, you can read about it all in my hub, which also include answer to your question and in term of satistic, what is most likely to be the cause of the odd behavior of these girls, within the question you ask. 

    THe site is below

    http://juiwei2000.hubpages.com/hub/Stat … elatioship

    smile

  6. changer22 profile image61
    changer22posted 6 years ago

    I actually just wrote a hub about domestic violence called "He Hit Me and It Felt Like a Kiss?" It is important that even though you might not understand why she still loves someone who abuses or cheats, you still are supportive of your friend and you do not judge her. I think the best way to go about giving her advice is to remind her that she deserves better and that there is another man out there who can treat her so much better than the man she is with. Most people in abusive relationships feel stuck because they know what their partners are doing is wrong but they still love them.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)