What does allowing a man to be a man mean?
I have heard this from mostly women in my life. My grandma, my mother, my aunts all say "Allow that man to be a man" or " a man is gonna be a man". What does that mean? Do I deal with the BS some men offer because they are just "being a man?" Thoughts?
Well, I'm coming from a pretty traditional/religious background... but it sounds like what they mean is "you can't stop guys from being jerks or behaving properly in public, so you might as well get used to it". This I think would be an incorrect way of going about life... we should help all people be the best person they can be.
Now, if they really truly mean "allow a man to be a man", then what they mean is that you should allow a man to take care of, lead, protect, and provide for his family... course, no modern feminist would ever allow a man to be like that (but I don't know if the women in your family are feminists). Anyway, that seems to be what true manhood is in the circles i run in.
I think it means allowing him to feed into his primal instincts. Men like to feel like the useful-protector person in your life. They like to feel strong the provider for their woman. I'd like to clarify that a man being a man is not allowing him to cheat and get away with it, it is not allowing him to disrespect you or abuse you or anyone else and get away with it. For me, letting my man be a man is accepting that he farts a lot and likes to poop. He likes to yell at the football game and wants to make more money than me. He also wants to protect me and look after me. It also means he hogs the pillows and hits the snooze too many times for my taste. In short, I think letting a man be a man is accepting him for who he is, flaws, farts and all.
Exactly what it mean don't try to change into something thier not
Those phrases are two different schools of thought.
#1 - Let a man be a man
Sometimes women are so "take over" and controlling that they steam roll others. Some women do this from telling a man what to do, where you will eat, what time to meet, etc.etc. Some women do this and don't even realize (or sometimes they do) they are taking control over everything. Stop bossing and controlling everything. This is about allowing a man to feel useful/needed and less like a big kid. It's hanging up the momma/son relationship...........your man should not be treated like a child there to comply 24/7. Maybe you need some oil in the car and you ask him to do it. When your man is around, you don't have to carry all the groceries into the house by yourself. I'm not saying don't be independent but allow others to lead and help. My best example: If you are in a canoe by yourself you have to row, guide yourself, direct yourself and navagate alone. If you are in a canoe with another person -he can guide, he can help, and give you pointers you can follow if he's familiar with canoe....so you can follow his lead.
#2 - A man is going to be a man
B.S. This is the "old school" way of thinking that means its okay for your man to disrespectfully interact with other women, cheat on you, or treat you like less than you deserve. It's the old "settle for any behavior" which is NOT RIGHT. We all are adults, we all see people who are attractive -however flirting /making inappropriate comments, staring, slipping numbers -unacceptable. Men are visualy stimulated and are more capable then women of separating bodily activities from interest/love HOWEVER that does not give anyone a green light to cheat. Along with this is the excuse of turning a blind eye to cheating with the idea that it's okay as long as I don't see-b.s. This mentality belongs in the trash can. Cheating is not okay. Being disrespected in public with your man flirting or trying to talk to other women around you and make you look stupid for being with him -unacceptable. (This includes the b.s. hookup of trying to give someone a "business card" out of the blue and other stupid moves) You teach people how to treat you and you accept or reject their behavior.
When a man says that to you it means that what ever you are doing or acting like is literally underestimating his manhood.
In other words,
Let him lead
Let him protect you
Let him provide
Let him take charge
These are the traditional factors to consider when talking about letting a man be a man.
SIMPLY, a man will feel degraded and unappreciated if he feels like his woman is coming off as , dominant, selfish, always right, always wants to come and be first, cuts him off while speaking, always wants to drive everywhere..
VERY SIMPLE- She want to dominate the relationship. That is the answer. That is when a man does not feel like a man in a relationship .
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