Why do I feel so hurt about a affair that happened years ago

1. 54

   bobcat1posted 13 years ago

   Why do I feel so hurt about a affair that happened years ago
   
   when my wife and I were younger  she told me about a sexual encounter  she had but lied about details twenty years later  she acused me of sleeping with one of my friends wife it didnt happen started a arguement  I stayed faithful  and  when she acused me it like opened the wound and now I go into rages I think she has alot more secrets one other thing I found out is around this time she was raped by a so called friend of mine who was kind anough to give me detals in a under handed  way many years

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2. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   Anger is the mask that Hurt wears..... Within your quetion you state the following, "I think she has alot more secrets...etc" Don't we all have secrets? Things we're not proud of or wish we had never done? The real issue is whether or not you (trust) her. If you don't then you should end the marriage.
   It makes no sense to stick around playing a game of "Saints & Sinners". Every "Saint" has a past and every "Sinner" has a future. If you are unable to get past your wife's past you will never be able to relax. The only person you can control is yourself. Always remember you are where you want to be. YOU are responsible for your own happiness!
   Best of luck!

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3. 61

   LauFrancesposted 13 years ago

   You're still hurting because it seems the two of you haven't really spoken about it only argued. To overcome the hurt the two of you should sit and talk to each other openly, be their for your partner and apologise and forgive each other when necessary. That's the only way the two of you will overcome your problems; you both really need to move on.

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4. 60

   lostdogrwdposted 13 years ago

   your not, you have trust issue with your wife for she blame you for something you said you did not do and you feel that she has and hiding it from you.  she your wife.it FOR BETTER OR WORST OR DID YOU FORGOT THAT. SO WHAT SHE OR YOU SEX SOMEONE. GET OVER IT you and her have to get over it and talk about it, hurt together and move on with yours life. life just to short for the bull. if love still there , work it out

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