Do you think it's true that some friendships have a "shelf-life?"
A friend told me this after a particular friendship ended.
Yes. I am convinced that not all relationships are to last a lifetime. Some are just for a period. Thankfully this does not make them any less valuable.
I'm beginning to come to that sad conclusion. I remember in the movie "Tequila Sunrise" that Mel Gibson's character says something to the effect that friendships are like tires, they only have so much mileage in them and then it's time to get new ones. I would like to not believe this, but some of my "friends" have proven to me this might be right!
Ouch! What a horrible thing to say on the way out! I think of friendship as a gift--for whatever time you had with the person. People and circumstances are thrown at you all of your life, and not everything turns out the way you want it to. I think if you step back and feel no hurt or anger after a friendship is long over, the easier it is to understand that this person brought something to your life and taught you a few life lessons. And it doesn't have to be about forgiveness, either. If you accept that the friendship is over, you can both move on. As I rule, I will not backslide and work to get anyone back in my life. You somehow know when you have done all you can, and nothing no longer clicks. The important thing is not to think about any break up as failure. Sinking ships are everywhere!
That's a hollow phrase for your friend to use. It is true that some friendships don't last long, but it's not due to a "shelf-life" but to life circumstances. For example, after high school, people move away. They find new friends while meanwhile people move where you live. The online world allows you to keep in touch more than before no matter how far away you may move. Some friendships last a lifetime, others for a season. But just because a friendship ends doesn't mean it has to end nasty.And as Arlene says, when you look back in time,you may see even a bad relationship's good points. I wrote about such a friendship from my school days. We aren't friends anymore, but we are friendly when we see each other.
I think it's absolutely true, though not all friendships. But most of the time, there comes a point when one can't seem to react, take or give more and the other realises it and feels the same (or sometimes not) and that's when you decide to accept and part ways on good terms...as Arlene said.
I realized this quite early in my life when my best friend moved to another country and despite many many attempts later, I was unable to establish any sort of friendship...things just never clicked anymore. I think this happens if one over-generalizes the relationship and unintentionally begins to look beyond its mere simplicity.
Ofcourse this doesn't apply to everyone...some have that disposition or the right attitude towards friendship that enables them to maintain long-lasting relationships (either online or otherwise).
Every friendship and every one of those people you've let go (or who left you) are all memorable in their own way.
I've never heard it said that way, but I do believe that friends grow apart for one reason or another. Just like any relationship we live and learn from it.
I agree with some of the other hubbers who have answered this question. I think some friendships last only through periods of our lives. Losing them, however, can be difficult and painful. I read an interesting book by Cathleen Schine called "The Evolution of Jane" that deals with lost friendship. I read it more than a decade ago and I have never forgotten it. It might make an interesting read for you.
Those friendships that are approached with a "shelf-life" attitude -- or immature, throw-away-friendships indeed don't last very long. Seems to me most friendships approached on that basis were never expected to last very long anyway -- so they don't. Our dear friends -- those we choose with care and nurture as they nurture us -- are for a lifetime and to be valued like gold. I have probably five life time friends. I have many acquaintances and acquaintances shouldn't be mistaken for friendships except in the short term -- if they prove to be different and long term we're blessed.
I think it's true. I would never think "I'm totally going to be friends with this person for just a month or two then ditch them" but I think with some people you just have a deeper connection than with others. The better this connection is, the longer the friendship can last. There's always exceptions though. Most of the friendships I've lost have been because of drama or they moved out of state or something like that. I can usually tell when I start building a friendship with someone whether or not it will be a very lasting one. Some people are too shallow for a genuine friendship while there are others that are loyal and just fun to be around.
But there are some who I have thought would be there through thick and thin, and then just suddenly flake out. Friends of ten years or more. How can we trust people?
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Omg......that person sounds quite facety and arrogant! In other words they had an agenda that either wasn't being fullfilled or they found someone else to fulfil it. Anything that is worth anything doesn't have a "shelf life". If people "grow apart" or move on it's because they do not cherish what they have, for whatever reason the grass that seems greener (new friends or people) tantalizes them into believing some kind of fantasy. it's obvious this individual was well aware of when your friendship would have run its course. #foodforthought
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