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Why do we hate the person our partner was unfaithful with more than our partner?
It seems unfair that we hate the person who our partner was unfaithful with so much more than our partner who was unfaithful. Why is this and how can we redress the balance?
It's easier to point the finger at them without dealing with the real reasons. As I heard in a movie. One does not have to leave your doorstep if you want the answer to why? The other person we get mad at we use as a scapegoat.
It's the easy thing to do. However the truth is your significant other does what he or she (wants) to do. Even if they were unhappy they had the choice to end the relationship with you (before) moving on or cheating.
I suspect those who blame "the other woman" or "the other man" are trying to figure out a way to justify staying in their relationship. If you put the full blame on your mate it's more difficult to come up with reasons to stay after being betrayed. Some people blame themselves if need be in order to stay in the relationship.
As with most issues within people, it is much easier to find blame than to ask those hard questions, like "why did my husband, or wife need to look outside our marriage for something he/she obviously wasn't finding within it?" Blame is easy - you shift cause to something outside of yourself when the real issue is in you. An affair is certainly a catalyst for self exploration
It's interesting to see the motivation of the 'other woman' or 'other man'. There is usually no malice toward the wife or husband being cheated on. The intention of having a sexual encounter with a married person is often without intention and is more a spontaneous liaison. Unfortunately once that liaison has started there are all sorts of reasons not to stop it.
Redressing the issue is for the married couple to be honest and open with their relationship and see what is lacking in it. It is a cop out, way way too easy to blame the other woman.
Women tend to blame the other woman because she thinks if somehow the other woman would not there then the man would not have strayed from the relationship. Also women do not like to think that it was their shortcomings that caused the man to get another woman into a failing relationship. There is no redressing the issue because most women think that men are easily tempted and like to think that is the temptation was addressed then the man would be theirs alone.
Well, there is the case of feel been betray, that apply for everybody.
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