What are the 10 things which makes a man be unfaithful to his girlfriend, committal partner,
significant other, and/or wife?
There are two leading ones. Men have affairs when they feel neglected at home. Women have them when they feel their relationship is failing. The rest of the causes fade into the background behind those.
Because people truly do not take their wedding vows seriously these days. Look at so many elderly couples who have been together 40,50,60 years. Back then the "vows" from God actually meant something.
It is too easy to just give up in today's society. Divorce's are a dime a dozen. But, what it really boils down to is "selfishness."
JT, I think it's too easy to get married! Getting divorced is seldom easy. Too often people choose the wrong mate or marry for the wrong reasons. Women initiate 66% of all divorces in the U.S. Better jobs and higher pay gives them more options! :-)
Secrets about other woman, hides his wedding band, has single guy friends and joins in like he is also single and goes out with them to dinners to meet other women, he lies about where he is off to, that he is working late hours, married men get bored at home and want to explore different avenues. A man who feels lonely and not loved. If he wants to stay away from his nagging wife. Men who feel their partner can't satisfy them intimately then their other choice is to seek other women who can fulfill their needs. Problems at home get too much to handle and escaping to another partner feels less problematic and more freedom.
So basically you're saying he is discontented or unhappy with his marriage. :-) Very often couples stop flirting with each other. Women forget men need to feel "desired" and want to be "seduced" sometimes. These are things single women do with men.
There is only one real reason in my opinion. ALL animals are meant to follow their sexual instincts. It is impossible to be in a monogamous relationship and follow all of your sexual instincts. Society has made people believe it is wrong to have more than one partner. It's about like the fact society tells us we can have breakfast only until 10:30am. If you're hungry, eat. If you chose to follow your animal instincts then that's great so long as you understand the consequences. There are so many horrible misconceptions (including the word) about Cheating. Recently I did a lot of actual research on open marriages. I'm not quite sure why people think it is impossible to live in a life long relationship AND have sex with other people.
So in short, "cheating" occurs when two people can't communicate enough to come to a fair agreement on what works both between BOTH parties in the relationship.
In all honesty I don't believe there are 10 reasons why men cheat. In fact I believe both women and men cheat for the same reasons.
The goal of any cheater is to (hold onto all that is good) in their primary relationship while addressing their other needs or desires on the side. (That's pretty much it!)
Having said that I believe there are 3 basic types of cheaters.
1. The Incessant Cheater
This individual has no intention of honoring any vow or promise they make. He or she is always looking for the next thrill or something "new". In fact they probably have never been faithful in any relationship. Think in terms of "Relationship ADD". They get bored very easy. Generally speaking they have magnetic personalities. Their motto is "Variety is the spice of life." Occasionally they'll enter into relationships if pressured or they feel it's required. But it's not who they are.
2. The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater
This person actually intended to be faithful and is not "looking " to betray their partner. They give into temptation when an "unbelievable opportunity" presents itself. A momentary lapse in judgment leads them to do something they later regret and feel guilty about. It may be they had a shot to be with someone "out of their league" or a person they've secretly admired came onto them! "Once in a lifetime."
3. The Discontented Cheater
This person believed they found their soul mate and never dreamed they'd be considering cheating. Unlike The Incessant and The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater, The Discontented Cheater feels as though his/her partner is (forcing) them to "seek other options" outside of their relationship. It's not a stretch for them to feel “justified” in seeking other ways to fill a need that is not being met.
The first thing everyone says is they should have broke up or gotten divorced if they were unhappy. Again I remind you the cheater's goal is to hold onto the "good parts" of the relationship. They also don't believe they will get caught!
Ultimately if someone cheats on us we (really) don't care why! It's a rhetorical or reflex question. We're not seeking any "understanding" and there is nothing our mate could say that would make us (feel better) about it. Why ask why? :-)
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