Fictitously speaking: Your spouse is cheating with one of your relatives! What's 'YOUR PLAN?'
I want to start out by stating that; I personally hope that this NEVER happens to anyone. This is a impossible situation to have to deal with... Fictitously speaking: You have proof that your spouse is cheating with one of your relatives! What do you do? What do you say? Who do you confront first? What's 'YOUR GAME PLAN' ~ I KNOW you will have one or two or even three of them!!!
Now, lets make it even harder, your spouse and your relative are in love and they are glad that you found out, this way, they don't have to 'break' the news to you...
This is hard and yes, hopefully no one will needs to deal with a situation as such. I don't think i would have a "game plan" when the scheme to catch them or humiliate them has already been gladly shoved up my face. I am a proud person, having said that, i will throw out all of his clothes and belongings, destroy the ones that he so adores, especially the expensive ones. Clear off all the things like our memories that i can think of, let the @#$%^%^ whine about it when he finds out, change the locks in the house asap, cry for a bit, clear my head off, snap out of it and think of myself as a single new me. I will most probably go shopping, get a makeover(since its the new me!), it'll hurt inside for a bit and the why and how questions will leave me sleepless for a while but i will wake up and think of it as a chance to reinvent myself and become a stronger, wiser person. Easier said then done but there's nothing more to contemplate about when the worst has been done and chances are slim that you will ever work out with this cheater.
If I absolutely know this then I simply walk away and let them live in the life that they've created. I have an uncanny ability to just let go. My belief is that I have no need to hang on to something that simply wasn't real, and if my spouse has been cheating, then I've been living a lie and life is too short for that. I have a very dear friend who is a therapist and has told me before that I have amazing "coping skills".I know for a fact that I would deal with the shock in my own way and then walk away and never look back.
I choose not to associate with people I can't trust. However if they are in love maybe it was meant that I brought them together in some twisted way. Either way my so called "significant other" was not "the one" for me.
First, breathe. If you have children, there is a lot to gain and a lot to lose in this situation so act now as if you're in slow motion. Nothing has to be decided today. If your spouse is forty or close to it, you are probably facing something outside of yourself - outside the two of you. Generally speaking, if you and your husband or wife have loved each other for a long, long time, this is not about you - it may not even be about him/her or the other person. You have to be your MOST HEROIC SELF now; you have to be braver than anyone should ever have to be, again, especially if you have children. Take things slowly - measure 7 times, cut once. Read inspirational quotes or do whatever is healthy to ease the angst. I'm not saying that the other advise in the answers to this question aren't valid and maybe even better advise. No one knows. I'm just saying, take everything into consideration. Right now DO NOT tell the spouse of the other person, DO NOT tell your children, DO NOT tell anyone else in the family. DO start reading about good relationships - why people stay together. Start doing those little things you did for your spouse when you were first married. It will be difficult - you'll want to throw up. Do it anyway - at least for now. I wish that my actions during that time in my life would have been different. I would have done EVERYTHING differently than I did. I lost all that was dear to me. Like anyone who has experienced grief to the bottom of his or her soul, the only way my own experience can at least have some meaning would be if it prevented a tragedy like mine occuring to someone else. But for you, right now, just breathe!
The advice that you gave was most excellent indeed. I thank God that I AM NOT going through this ordeal.
This question warrants an 'fictitously speaking' answer only.
I just had to comment on your answer because of the caring nature that you have and are willing to share.
It truly touched my heart that you sincerely (thought that I was seeking advice) in turn reached through the internet to offer wisdom and comfort to me. As I stated before, I hope no one ever has to find this situation theirs personally.
Well, it would definitly hurt, but blodd is thicker then water, so I say, throw a bit of a fuss about your family betraying you and then let them be a couple.
depends who is more important for me, if I am really upset and hurt then life will be difficult for them
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