At what age do you let your children suffer the consequences from their bad decisions?
A child should know from a very early age that there are always consequences for all our actions, be they good or bad. That is a life lesson that they must learn. Discipline or training, or whatever name tag you want to give, it should be started early and continued consistently. Good actions produce good consequences so they are encouraged. Bad actions produce bad consequences and so they are discouraged. As a child learns the results of bad choices, they in turn learn to make better choices.
We can protect our kids from harmful lessons that will physically harm them, but even then there must be some teaching involved to inform them of what the pitfall would have been.
Just because you are a parent, do not necessary mean the decision you make is a good decision and the decision they make is a bad decision. I see many times, where parents make bad decisions for their children, but the children make good decision for themselves and vise verse. Sometime parents can even be mainly responsible for their children getting bad grades in school, where the parents think they are making a good decision for their children, where in reality, it is a bad decision that result in devistating consequence. While, many young teenageres and even younger children, must frequently rely on their parents decision, because they don't know anything about anything, school teaher usually encourage older teenagers to make their own decision and for the parents to retreat to a advisory role. I once came across a guy, who did bad in his senior year in high school, due to his parent's intervention in his study. His parents, believe that his school is doing a set of course work completely otherwise to what he is really doing in school. Believing his son is making a bad decision, for looking at the alternative course work, to what his mother believe is the actual course work for school and unwilling to let her son suffer the consequence of what she believe is a bad decision for her son, the family went into turmoil, of constant fighting. In the end, he quit high school and went on to be an apprentist, because the argument with his mother means he got no time to study for the stuff he is really doing in school and also suffer up to almost two years of continue sleep deprevation. His grade gone from a straight A student to a straight F student and eventually he decided there is no point for him to finish high school, under such circumstances and simply drop out. While I normally do not say this to young teenager or children because they do not know better, to older teenagers who by that stage of life, is capable of making self distinguish between right and wrong I always say the term "mum knows best" is complete none sense and the truth is that, I see this way, too many times, already, because while some mother are always right, some are only usually right, some are only right half the time, some are usually wrong and some are always wrong!!!
Mine started suffering consequences around two or three. I would give him a little pop/slap on the back of the hand or butt or leg, just enough for a little bit of sting, and say, "Hot, hot!" It didn't take long for him to be able to recognize that when I said, "No-hot!" That meant pain, discomfort, and/or danger. This was handy for steering him away from things like electrical sockets and the like...anything he needed to keep clear of, or any behavior that might merit some correction.
As he got a little older, consequences turned into a 3 way conversation between me, him, and the belt/paddle called a "conference." So I would tell his teachers at school that if he acted up or disobeyed them, to simply tell him that they would call his mother and request a "conference." He would immediately get in line, because he recognized that the consequences of continuing that same behavior, was going to result in pain, discomfort, and/or a sore butt.
I've seen people who's kids were controlling them, screaming and throwing tantrums in public. My son never did that. He tried to emulate that mess 1 time. Just once. He learned very quickly the "consequences" of disobeying me, particularly in public; and any time he forgot, I would tell him-in public, "Do you want to go to the restroom for a conference?" It worked every time. The scriptures are true. Spare the rod, spoil the child. GB
by trafford7 years ago
Divorce? Good decision or bad decision?what is your point of views and perceptions about Divorce? is divorce is the right decision to get detached from relation of marriage, what should we do, what are the other ways to...
by Make Money9 years ago
The Bush administration wants to bail the banks out to the tune of 700 billion dollars.Everything was fine when the private banks were making millions but now that they are in trouble Bush is suggesting a national...
by Ken McGonigal3 weeks ago
What do you do if your teenager refuses to come home?My son is 16 years old. He does not like our rules. Now he is refusing to come home.
by Adamowen5 years ago
When do you think a parent should allow their children to make their own conscious decisions?
by Peeples4 years ago
Does having moments where you want to strangle your children make you a bad parent?Never acting on it of course.
by Stacy Harris6 years ago
Do you believe in Karma?Do you believe that what you do in life will come back and haunt you? Does this directly effect your actions?
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.