Do you think "swinging" is a good or bad thing to involve in a marriage?

1. 64

   Zaiden Jaceposted 11 years ago

   Do you think "swinging" is a good or bad thing to involve in a marriage?

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2. 72

   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   Bad. Yes, it's nice to realize other people are interested in your partner. But it can cause a ton of issues in the relationship, even divorce.

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3. 60

   duffsmomposted 11 years ago

   Bad.  There is something almost magical about intimacy within a marriage.  You not only have the sexual bond but also the daily things that make up your life, and build the relationship even further. Sharing all of that with just one person is a wonderful thing.

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4. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   It's up to the couple. I've learned overtime there is no "one size fits all" when it comes to love, relationships, and marriage. What works for one couple may not work for another. You are responsible for your own happiness. The most important element is to have both people on the (same) page. If one person has to be "talked into or persuaded to do something" it's a clear sign it's not a (mutual) desire. They're simply going along because they want to make their mate happy.
   Oddly enough it's often the person who made the suggestion who becomes upset if their mate starts having a "wonderful" time with it. In some instances emotional attachments are formed with others which may cause people to want a divorce. Not many people view sex nonchalantly when they're "emotionally invested" in someone.   
   Personally for me it would be a bad thing. I didn't get married to share my wife other men. I'd rather be single than have an open marriage.

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   1. 56

      Tracie Jonesposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, everyone is different, I am a bi female and my male partner love women, so threesomes are an extension of us.  Love, Trust, openness, communication are the keys to no Jealous feelings, not for most, but for us, this lifestyle is us

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5. 45

   DDEposted 11 years ago

   Swinging is bad, I don't approve of such kind of relationships it can however work if a couple suggest it is okay

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6. 92

   SerenityHaloposted 10 years ago

   I don't think it makes sense if you are married and want to sleep with other people AND actually do it. That's not really monogamous marriage, so I wish there was a different term for swinging married people so it could be categorized differently, because it's not respectful to people who are not practicing such. It hurts people when they cheat, people sometimes don't confront it because they don't want to lose their partner; sometimes people will adhere to swinging because they don't want to lose their partner. For one thing, if you are having sex with multiple couples, you are opening yourselves up to more diseases and confusion. It may seem enjoyable or tempting, though I think the mass amount of people think it's weird globally and in the States, but you are potentially adding to yourself more consequences. In life, I suggest with my greatest of wisdom to reduce the number of negative consequences in your life. Sure, risks are great, but negative consequences don't just hurt you but others. Swinging is terrible if you have children; you are confusing their perceptions of relationships, who is their primary parents, and so forth. Ultimately, "swinging" is selfish, and it's not socially acceptable right now. Learn a new language or an instrument and don't go this route. I encourage not going this route and aiming for something more streamlined and monogamous. Fragmented social ideas like this are like building a house on sand; it may seem cute but when the waves come, you are not going to be ready for it physically, financially, emotionally, etc. So, it's bad. Maybe pleasurable and exciting, but that's temporary and pretty damn vain in this case. Also, consider people who are not swingers and what their perceptions will be; this could potentially push you away from people who are less liberal, influence your job, and even become complicated. What if you end up pregnant with one of your swingers instead of your husband? Seriously, this is not a good route at all, taking it has a lot of negative energy. It's super complicated too. You don't need something this complicated, and it'll screw up anything good or blossoming, etc. And, sometimes you might have a sexual fantasy or too, but don't always take your fantasies so seriously, a fantasy may just be a hyperbole metaphor for something else in your head.

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   1. 92

      SerenityHaloposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Look, it isn't so bad to be hurray for monogamy. It took years of development in civilization for contracts to appear for one on one monogamous relationships to form. Polygamy WAS the way of life, and now we have marriages that make for consistency.

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7. 73

   no bodyposted 10 years ago

   And how did the vows of the marriage that will be declared an "open marriage" read?
        "Dearly Beloved, We are gathered together to day to join this man and this woman and any of a number of strangers that should come into their lives as they become bored with each other and wish to form carnal dalliances with them."
        Even if such a vow would be made, it would not be marriage and it definitely is not declared made "before God," but would have to be declared "despite" of God.
         No matter what you label it, the fact remains it is fornication (pornea). It is a form of adultery. God's mandate saying that adulterers "will not inherit the kingdom"  and "adulterers will be judged" still stands.

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8. 53

   skytreeroadposted 10 years ago

   My parents were swingers. I guess it did okay for them. I think if you are going to try swinging you need to find the same lifestyle swinging partners, at least at first. Build a relationship before anything goes in anywhere, you don't want to find out that urban legend of the black/red rose is true. Or the missing kidney legend. It is almost like an open marriage, except swingers do it in pairs, together. You would have to really have a firm marriage, I think. And if you have kids, it is really hard to be that discrete.

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9. 37

   Kiki Estimeposted 8 years ago

   Well it all depend on your marriage what you think about it. Every marriage is different. The couples in the marriage determine what kind of marriage their want. The couples has to discuss together what they feel about swinging. If both party's agree, then it is good. If one party does not agree will it is a bad thing to involve in a marriage.

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