I was emotionally attacked by a friend without having done her wrong.Have you ev

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   denkmuskelposted 12 years ago

   I was emotionally attacked by a friend without having done her wrong.Have you ever experienced this?
   
   She attacked me verbally and emotionally although I considered her to be my friend. Although I understand that she felt rejected by me as a partner when we first met, although that was very clear from the beginning, and there was really nothing that I have done to her, justifying this exhausting and hurtful tribunal. Has anyone here had a similar experience?
   
   

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2. 0

   Arlene V. Pomaposted 12 years ago

   She has high expectations of you.  Although you say you were straight with her from the very beginning, it does not matter.  The fact that you still remained friends probably made her think that she still had a chance to change your mind and become your girlfriend or your lover.  It happens all of the time, and not only to you.  With men and women, this swings both ways.  You thought you made yourself clear, but she's thinking something else.  It is so easy to try and think you can fit someone into your life because you want them so badly, but in this case, she now realizes that you are standing your ground.  Now, she will have to deal with rejection.  Again.  And, she's angry.  Or, she will keep trying even harder until you give up and make her your girlfriend.  If you strongly feel that she could be a friend of yours, try again on your terms.  But if the drama continues, and she blames you and says its all your fault that you refuse to meet her expectations, limit your time with her or completely dance away.  We are talking about your sanity, here.

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   msorenssonposted 12 years ago

   Please consider the possibility that at the moment she was speaking to you, she might have been under a lot of stress, and that the anger was not necessarily aimed at you.

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4. 59

   denkmuskelposted 12 years ago

   @msorensson
   unfortunately that anger was directed at me, although I understand that I haven't been the cause but just the trigger. She's had a calm time before that incident.
   
   @Arlene, you have mentioned something that sounds plausible to me. Yet it seems just to be one layer deeper but not yet the bottom. Still, I can see that "clear" doesn't necessarily mean the same thing for her as it does for me. I guess I was too naive to realize that and that may have been the reason why it hit me like a truck at full velocity.
   After that incident there is nothing in me wanting to be close to her ever again. I was never in love with her but could have fallen if we were given more time. That did not happen due to our different relationship schemes. But I guess that door is sealed for good. I am not angry at her or writing this out of spite, but I saw a monumental rage waiting silently until it's chance to burst out arises. Never would I have seen that coming before. Never do I want to.Thank you two for answering and inspiring me.

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   reeltaulkposted 12 years ago

   You need to get a hold of yourself and not get too caught up, cause even though you may not have done anything for them to behave this way, they are bent on behaving this way.  If you are emotionally attached to them, you will just be doing yourself more harm than good by trying to "fix" that which cannot be.  Let things ride out, if they ever come around and you decide to be forgiving then so be it. Their erratic behavior may not make sense to you, but to them it must be done to maintains their ego for self centered reasons.

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   JamaGeneeposted 12 years ago

   I was verbally attacked "out of the blue" on the phone one morning by a person I considered a "good friend" but had only known (long distance) for about 6 months.  All of my close friends are "off the wall" and a bit "whacko", so earlier references by this person to their supposedly successful therapy for anger issues raised no red flags.  But I come from a background of mental and physical abuse, and the fact that this person could totally "flip" without warning was all it took for me to end the "friendship" right then and there.

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7. 45

   unknown spyposted 12 years ago

   I'm not a heartless person... I just learned to use my heart less. read more

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