Are humans monogomus by nature or do men or women secretly crave multiple sexual partners?
While monogamy is seen as the basic family model in many societies and some studies have suggested that extramarital relationships remain in the below 50% range, is it possible that even couples who remain monogomous are not really monogomous at heart and would have multiple relationships if the behaviour was socially acceptable?
Monogamy is a life-style choice! It is not part of our genetic code or built into our DNA. We have the ability to (choose) to be monogamus or have multiple partners. In our present day and age I don't believe behavior which is "socially acceptable" determines whether one decides to cheat or not. It comes down to the integrity of the individual to have the decency to end one relationship prior to getting involved in another one whether it be physical or emotional.
As for the occasional fantasy or even erotic dream one might have it's all part of the human experience. You can't control your dreams when you fall asleep. It doesn't mean you (want) to pursue it. We dream about a lot of things we don't want to happen in real life.
The inspiration for this text came from a question that asked if monogamy was “natural”. It is a short abstract about the fact that things or behaviours called natural are not necessarily better or superior in any way to non-natural ones. read more
As civilized as we think we are, our biology still compels us to do primal acts. Some people are better at repressing their primal desires than others so that they may sustain a monogamous relationship. Others succumb to temptations that come from hormones and the human biology. It appears that statistics show us that although we may intend to endeavor to be monogamous, things change. This leads me to believe that the concept that is more difficult to sustain is the “happily ever after” model. Monogamy is fulfilling, rewarding and safe until those attributes no longer exist. Throw in the promise of some exciting variety that is absent from the current relationship and biology is there to feed the fire.
I believe the answer to your question is yes and yes. Humans are monogamous by nature, but since we often do crave multiple sexual partners, we are only monogamous for a period of time that sexuality is fulfilling, rewarding and safe. No doubt many other factors influence monogamy, but few rise to the power of sex.
I don't think humans were built to be monogamous although monogamy has been dictated as a life style since puritan age.
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