Is it possible to help turnaround a person who reacts to stress with anger?
If you are with this person, how can you respond when their stress turns to anger.? . Many people have no idea about the anger response in themselves. Maybe anger management counseling?
I've learned that to be able to help anyone; they have to recognize that they have a problem and want help. We can want it for them, but until they are ready to change; everything that we do seems to only frustrate the situation even more. Hopefully the person will be open to counseling as anger can be a terribly destructive stronghold that not only affects the angry person but all those that are connected to the person.
Short answer is "Yes!" But, as Yvette suggests, the person with the anger issues must first acknowledge they have a problem. And more important, THEY must be willing to do something about it. Professional counseling and treatment are probably the best possible solution. The anger that lies within us all stems from "something!" Finding that something and dealing with it is where resolution starts, including "Stress related anger." Sometimes it is a learned response. Some of those affected with this issue carry resentments that may date back to their childhood, and often, this is the case. It's a long journey to finally dealing effectively with anger issues, but you don't walk 10 miles into the woods, turn around and expect to be out in 5 miles!
Thank you for all these great answers. It is sad about anger sometimes being deeply rooted in a person. Entering into such a relationship can prove to be the beginning of a problem. We do need less anger in our society, so we can only hope and pray.
I ran an anger managment group. 50% of my clients blamed the victim for their anger. Counseling was a wast of time for them. So, the truth is: As long as the anger is paying off, and works to intimidate people, a person will not give it up.
"Many people have no idea about the anger response in themselves" I believe that is higly unlikely. Everyone knows when they are angry. Everyone knows when they are yelling, being sarcastic/rude, or giving the silent treatment. To say someone has (no idea) of their anger response is to deny them the ability to own their behavior.
People change when (they) want to change. More often than not this happens after they lose something/someone of value or hit rock bottom. You can't fix what you don't acknowledge. If the person is truly unaware of their anger response it's unlikely they will feel the need to make any changes. If you ask them to change they will become resentful. After all they don't believe they have a problem! With 7 billion people on the planet why choose to spend time with someone who has a loose screw. Unless someone asks for help there is nothing you can do to help them.
If I am with someone who is stressed and their response to it is anger, I will not stay in the room or around them. I will not feed or reward their behavior.
I will tell them to talk to me when they have calmed down and I become a stone wall and do not respond to the anger.
If the person recognizes the problem, I would do anything I could to help once they acknowledge the problem.
Sometimes people that respond to stress with anger have psychological issue(s) that they are unaware of. Just by getting these individuals on the right medication can change the chemical imbalances in their brain and can make them think more level headed. This often requires them being taken to a psychologist or a crisis center so that professionals can evaluate these people and come up with the proper treatment plans.
A lot of times these people do not realize they have a problem. They might need some convincing and support to get these subjects the much needed help they need.
Does that person want to change? And are they angry at you or someone else?
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