Can bad sex ruin a good relationship?

1. 63

   smlbizmattersposted 12 years ago

   Can bad sex ruin a good relationship?
   
   If you're really in love with someone do you think it's possible for a relationship to work around bad sex (not intimacy)? With all other aspects of the relationship in working order can this type of relationship survive?

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2. 60

   kat7110809posted 12 years ago

   This is something you need to talk about to your partner. As I say in my blogs, it is important that communication be the main aspect of your relationship. If your worried that bad sex might ruin your relationship, its not worth the relationship to worry about sex. Sex is important of course, but you need to be comfortable with who your with, and if you cannot communicate about this important issue, may I suggest counseling.

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3. 0

   KDuBarry03posted 12 years ago

   Sex is very fickle. Say if you are in a relationship for about a week and you and your partner decide to have sex and it wasn't satisfactory to your partner. Having sex that early would definitely ruin the relationship, albeit good or bad. Truthfully, I think sex is a matter of waiting until you can fully trust your partner emotionally and socially and then test the waters in trusting them physically (in which the same should go vice versa). For a real, steady relationship to work, don't think of intercourse as an act of sex for pleasure, think of it as a physical intimate bond that you wish to share with your partner.

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      kat7110809posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      good advice. same thoughts I had

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      Bizik Addposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I couldn't agree more....

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4. 60

   nightwork4posted 12 years ago

   yes it can. sex is an important part of a healthy relationship and if a couple don't click sexually, it will hurt their relationship. the exception is if both of them don't care about sex.

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5. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   I believe one has to truly know themselves in order to make that call. In our society we tend to downplay the importance of sexual compatibility when it comes to love and marriage. In fact we are told not to put much stock into it since it will fade overtime. Anyone who has the guts to say it’s "very important" to them is generally belittled or called shallow.
   
   My take is a little different. I believe life is a personal journey and each of gets to decide on what is important to us as well as what our “deal breakers” are. The truth is it is our (romantic/sexual desire) for our mate that separates "relationship love" from (parental, sibling, and friendship love.) Sexual compatibility determines how often the couple does it. If one person would like to do it 4 times a week and the other is happy with once a week. In a 52 week year you are talking about (208 times vs 52 times). That could be a major problem.
   
   Generally speaking it is much easier for people with no sexual experience or very low sex drives to live with "bad sex". The people who have the most difficult time are those who have had mind blowing experiences in the past.  They are likely to have flashbacks of previous lovers or fantasies which could eventually cause them to be tempted to venture outside their otherwise perfect relationship in order to fulfill that need. Logically it seems like the easier thing to do when compared to walking away from a great person. Nevertheless it’s wrong and unfair to cheat or betray them.
   Once the two of you have tried everything you can to improve things you have to ask yourself; "Can I be happy or satisfied if things remain this way for the rest of my life?" If the answer is “no” then you are better off letting them go.
   Hopefully you both will find other good people whom you are naturally compatible with.
   Awhile back I wrote a hub on this very subject. Sex: Is bad sex a “legitimate reason” to end a relationship? http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … ationships

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6. 60

   fpherj48posted 12 years ago

   Can I safely assume that by "bad sex," you mean not fulfilling or not satisfying to one or both individuals in the relationship?   
   "Bad sex," need not be a permanent issue nor unsolvable.  You say the relationship is "good" and in working order......so if you choose to maintain this relationship because you care deeply for each other......You need to get busy discussing the not-so-good portion of your life together.  Read books, seek professional help.....be creative.....talk to each other ....There is much available to help you both.
   Young, healthy individuals in a close relationship cannot go on happily and continue to stay together without the intimacy and bonding of sharing a good sex life.....unless of course this is something that you both have agreed is acceptable and tolerable. and have no problem with a platonic relationship..

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7. 56

   MissJamieDposted 11 years ago

   First, you don't have sex early in the relationship, you get to know each other. Second, if you have sex and it isn't what you'd hoped, you communicate that to your partner. You don't say "That was horrible", you say "Let's try this" or you take the reins and show them exactly what you're looking for. Study up on sex, find out what the other sex typically likes/needs and start there. Be gentle, give exact instructions if something isn't working such as "Slower, softer, over there" or just guide them physically to the place you'd like them to be.
   
   Thirdly, if you try these things and you're still not clicking and the relationship isn't satisfying enough in other areas to do without the great sex, break it off.

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