Love is hollow without sex & vice versa

1. 77

   Castlepalomaposted 7 years ago

   Love is hollow without sex and sex without love.
   
   What do you think?

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      Live to Learnposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Would the first part apply to all love? If so, it's kind of perverted.

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      1. 77

         Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Coming from gender and relationship forum where the first three words are dating, romanace and weddings.
         
         You can guess from there.

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            Live to Learnposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Well, I could but people put all kinds of things in all kinds of forums.
            
            But, I agree with the other guy. Sex without love is not necessarily hollow. It depends on what each participant hopes to gain from the encounter.

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   2. 73

      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Love is never hollow.
      
      Sex on the other hand can be a hollow pleasure enjoyed as a one night stand with a stranger. You don't need to be in love to have great sex!
      However if you are "in love" it makes sex all the better.
      
      Bear in mind the primary difference between parental, sibling, friendship and "romantic love" is our desire to be physically intimate with those we are in romantic relationships with. We want physical intimacy with them.
      
      If someone should find them self in a marriage or "exclusive relationship" with someone who has no interest in having sex with them they could possibly feel neglected or unhappy because they're not physically desired.
      From their point of view they might as well be platonic friends!
      
      On the other hand some people expect sex to wane or die in long-term relationships and they're completely happy with a loving companionship!
      
      Life is a (personal) journey!
      
      

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   3. 76

      psycheskinnerposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Ask an asexual or celibate person .  Human's are diverse. They find meaning and love in many different places.  it certainly seems reasonable to me that a loving spouse might give up sex if they partner is no longer able to have it. That would not make them less in love.

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      1. 77

         Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         That is why I change my mind from hollow to lame. The ultimate love for most People is romantic love, written in songs, art throughout human history, natures reproduction and stars.
         
         Almost everyone including Asexuals masterbate. Vast majority masterbate for inspiration for a closer phyical bond for another human being. Celibate are really rare. The longest and best old couples lovers I've observed is when they flirt phyically.

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2. 77

   Castlepalomaposted 7 years ago

   From my romantic love experences, never had love without great sex. I can imagine still flirting and talking dirty to keep the romantic attraction going into my age 90s.
   
   Maybe not hollow love without sex,  yet, lame love at best..

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   1. 73

      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Sexual compatibility can't be overrated.
      Having a similar libido as one's mate makes all the difference!
      Like attracts like and opposites attract cheating or divorce attorneys!
      Natural compatibility trumps compromise.

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      1. 77

         Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         What's next for my new no sex lover so far, in possiblities?
         Dancing the libido loco.

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         1. 73

            dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            When there is a lack of sexual compatibility it leaves 3 options.
            
            1. Accept lack of sex as (a way of life) going forward.
            2. Breakup or file for divorce. (Lowering their living standards...etc)
            3. Find someone to cheat with who desires them sexually.
            
            It's no surprise that many people will go with option #3
            
            The goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. Very few cheaters are looking to "replace' one relationship with another.
            They want to "complement" what they already have.
            
            In their eyes it's better than running down to the courthouse to file for divorce, moving out of their home into a  one bedroom condo, becoming a weekend dad, paying child support and possibly alimony, dividing up assets as well as friends and family who will choose sides...etc
            
            Since most cheaters don't expect to get caught they don't see themselves hurting their mate but rather finding a (easy solution) to what is missing.
            
            

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3. 57

   tiniewinneposted 7 years ago

   Love and Sex are complimentary to each other. In ideal situation love comes first that bring sex, if its opposite the it might not be worthy relationship.

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   1. 77

      Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Love can wait, sex can"t. Woman controls the sex.  Nothing wrong in talking about the sex, it can encourage sex if you feel deeply in like her, giving it a chance to be in love later.

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4. 77

   Castlepalomaposted 7 years ago

   Asking this love without sex question, due to my new romance relationship who has been holding out on the sex for such a long time now.
   
   As long as I'm having a great time with her, why not wait out for better sex in the long run, rather than shallow easy sex that leaves you like a shell.
   
   Anyone esle having this simular problem?

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   1. 73

      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      There are two schools of thought when it comes to "holding out".
      
      1. The person wants to make sure the relationship is going to be something serious and very possibly leading to marriage.
      
      2. They simply have a low libido with very little interest in sex.
      
      They're not going to suddenly turn into a "nymphomaniac" after marriage!
      
      One way I suppose one can gage; is how "difficult" it is for their mate to continue to say "no". Are they frequently "tempted" themselves?
      
      Exchanging pasionate wet kisses, fondling through clothes, talking about it with anticipation, phone sex, manual stimulation, ...etc
      Doing "other things" short of intercourse?
      
      If the answer is "no" to all of the above you may be with a #1.
      Anyone who finds it "easy" to go without probably has a low libido.
      
      When they do have sex it will be as a "favor", "reward" or seen as a "duty".
      Eventually someone who lays down and says "Knock yourself out!" won't be enough to satisfy you. Most men & women need to feel desired!
      The male ego also has a need to believe the man is a "great lover".
      Women know this and it's why some elect to "fake it".
      
      Personally I have never dated someone without having sex fairly early on. Every "serious relationship" I have ever had began as something casual and "evolved" into something serious. You can't "force" it to be serious.
      
      Sometimes after "the wait" if the chemistry isn't there or it was just a flat out disappointment a person may walk away. This usually leads to the old cliché of: "Once he got {what he wanted} he disappeared."
      
      Maybe the reality is {he DIDN'T get what he wanted} or hoped for!
      Very few people ask for "seconds" of a bad tasting meal.
      
      The person holding out may hope if it's not good you won't just walk away since you would have established an "emotional connection".
      
      Odds are if there's an incompatibility you'll make an "effort" to work on it.
      Where as if you knew (early on) it wasn't great you'd lose their number.
      Ultimately all relationships are a gamble whether you have sex or not.
      
      I've never played the "calendar" game. I live "in the moment".
      
      If two people don't want the same things there's a good chance they are probably wrong for one another. Generally people don't "change".
      
      It's the individual traits of the person that determines where the relationship goes and not how soon one has sex in my opinion. I have had several relationships that lasted for years after having sex the first night.

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      1. 77

         Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Some good points.
         
         The way she kisses and touches, I don't think it's her libido. We both feel sex is spiritual or sacred. She said, we could go to a hotel and do it, yet she feels, not ready. I could be just over thinking the whole thing, or she feels insecure about holding on to a slow growing relationships with me. Plus busy time for her in her bussiness.
         
         She has been married for 32 years and had 5 sexual contacts in her lifetime and I about 35. I took 5 dates to find out she is not age 52, her true age is age 60 on her drivers ID.

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      Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I think most women would say sex is hollow without love, but many would say that it's possible to have love without sex. 
      
      I think if you are in a fairly committed relationship and your partner is still holding out on having sex, I would be having a conversation about it.  Say that in most previous relationships, you would be having sex by now and you respect her right to say "no", but you'd like to know why. 
      
      My concern would be that perhaps she's not that interested in sex.   There are millions of people in the world with a low sex drive - and many of them are older women.  As the level of oestrogen drops, sex drive often drops with it.  A major source of distress for some women around menopause is a total loss of libido.   It's not universal by any means but it's common enough that it's worth wondering about!

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         Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Good thing, nobody knows my name on hubpages. So I am free to say.
         
         She jokes about masterbating a lot. She lied about her age, I hope she is not lying about that. She states she is a hopeless romantic, I am a hopeful romantic. We are on the same page as romantic love is far more important than religion or politics.

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            Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            There are plenty of women aged 60 who are still keen on sex.  However, in your shoes I would be concerned.
            
            Do you know how long it's been since she had sex?  If it's been a while, no doubt she's pleasuring herself because she misses it.  However once you get together and sex is available on tap, it could still mean she's a once a fortnight girl and if you're a three times a week guy that will be a problem.

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            1. 77

               Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               Sex once to 3 times a week,  would be great.
               Once every 2 to 4 weeks, not so good.
               
               That would be a good question to ask her?  What a awkward ? to ask, each woman when newly dating. Yet, really important or I"m wasting my time.

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            Kathryn L Hillposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Move on CP, move on.

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            1. 77

               Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               Nobody can everrr..take the hand... of my God.
               
               That is your Song.

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                  Kathryn L Hillposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  move on, CP! you know you want to!!!

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5. 52

   Oliver Asamoahposted 7 years ago

   great

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   1. 77

      Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      A fairytales of being in love and worshiping her and the Sun. Has a much better chance of coming true than  Religión and Politic fairytales/legends making the world more beautiful.

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6. 77

   Castlepalomaposted 7 years ago

   I want to be free to go anywhere I want to. The ultimate love is Romantic. Religious fairytales and Political legends sovles nothing or creates more harm than good.
   You move on, I am here to share real love and many kinds of love.

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