Love is hollow without sex & vice versa

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (26 posts)
  1. Castlepaloma profile image75
    Castlepalomaposted 14 months ago

    Love is hollow without sex and sex without love.

    What do you think?

    1. Live to Learn profile image80
      Live to Learnposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      Would the first part apply to all love? If so, it's kind of perverted.

      1. Castlepaloma profile image75
        Castlepalomaposted 14 months agoin reply to this

        Coming from gender and relationship forum where the first three words are dating, romanace and weddings.

        You can guess from there.

        1. Live to Learn profile image80
          Live to Learnposted 14 months agoin reply to this

          Well, I could but people put all kinds of things in all kinds of forums.

          But, I agree with the other guy. Sex without love is not necessarily hollow. It depends on what each participant hopes to gain from the encounter.

    2. dashingscorpio profile image88
      dashingscorpioposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      Love is never hollow.

      Sex on the other hand can be a hollow pleasure enjoyed as a one night stand with a stranger. You don't need to be in love to have great sex!
      However if you are "in love" it makes sex all the better.

      Bear in mind the primary difference between parental, sibling, friendship and "romantic love" is our desire to be physically intimate with those we are in romantic relationships with. We want physical intimacy with them.

      If someone should find them self in a marriage or "exclusive relationship" with someone who has no interest in having sex with them they could possibly feel neglected or unhappy because they're not physically desired.
      From their point of view they might as well be platonic friends!

      On the other hand some people expect sex to wane or die in long-term relationships and they're completely happy with a loving companionship!

      Life is a (personal) journey!

      https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13507979_f248.jpg

    3. psycheskinner profile image81
      psycheskinnerposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      Ask an asexual or celibate person .  Human's are diverse. They find meaning and love in many different places.  it certainly seems reasonable to me that a loving spouse might give up sex if they partner is no longer able to have it. That would not make them less in love.

      1. Castlepaloma profile image75
        Castlepalomaposted 14 months agoin reply to this

        That is why I change my mind from hollow to lame. The ultimate love for most People is romantic love, written in songs, art throughout human history, natures reproduction and stars.

        Almost everyone including Asexuals masterbate. Vast majority masterbate for inspiration for a closer phyical bond for another human being. Celibate are really rare. The longest and best old couples lovers I've observed is when they flirt phyically.

  2. Castlepaloma profile image75
    Castlepalomaposted 14 months ago

    From my romantic love experences, never had love without great sex. I can imagine still flirting and talking dirty to keep the romantic attraction going into my age 90s.

    Maybe not hollow love without sex,  yet, lame love at best..

    1. dashingscorpio profile image88
      dashingscorpioposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      Sexual compatibility can't be overrated.
      Having a similar libido as one's mate makes all the difference!
      Like attracts like and opposites attract cheating or divorce attorneys!
      Natural compatibility trumps compromise. smile

      1. Castlepaloma profile image75
        Castlepalomaposted 14 months agoin reply to this

        What's next for my new no sex lover so far, in possiblities?
        Dancing the libido loco.

        1. dashingscorpio profile image88
          dashingscorpioposted 14 months agoin reply to this

          When there is a lack of sexual compatibility it leaves 3 options.

          1. Accept lack of sex as (a way of life) going forward.
          2. Breakup or file for divorce. (Lowering their living standards...etc)
          3. Find someone to cheat with who desires them sexually.

          It's no surprise that many people will go with option #3

          The goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. Very few cheaters are looking to "replace' one relationship with another.
          They want to "complement" what they already have.

          In their eyes it's better than running down to the courthouse to file for divorce, moving out of their home into a  one bedroom condo, becoming a weekend dad, paying child support and possibly alimony, dividing up assets as well as friends and family who will choose sides...etc

          Since most cheaters don't expect to get caught they don't see themselves hurting their mate but rather finding a (easy solution) to what is missing.

          https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13509571_f248.jpg

  3. tiniewinne profile image70
    tiniewinneposted 14 months ago

    Love and Sex are complimentary to each other. In ideal situation love comes first that bring sex, if its opposite the it might not be worthy relationship.

    1. Castlepaloma profile image75
      Castlepalomaposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      Love can wait, sex can"t. Woman controls the sex.  Nothing wrong in talking about the sex, it can encourage sex if you feel deeply in like her, giving it a chance to be in love later.

  4. Castlepaloma profile image75
    Castlepalomaposted 14 months ago

    Asking this love without sex question, due to my new romance relationship who has been holding out on the sex for such a long time now.

    As long as I'm having a great time with her, why not wait out for better sex in the long run, rather than shallow easy sex that leaves you like a shell.

    Anyone esle having this simular problem?

    1. dashingscorpio profile image88
      dashingscorpioposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      There are two schools of thought when it comes to "holding out".

      1. The person wants to make sure the relationship is going to be something serious and very possibly leading to marriage.

      2. They simply have a low libido with very little interest in sex.

      They're not going to suddenly turn into a "nymphomaniac" after marriage!

      One way I suppose one can gage; is how "difficult" it is for their mate to continue to say "no". Are they frequently "tempted" themselves?

      Exchanging pasionate wet kisses, fondling through clothes, talking about it with anticipation, phone sex, manual stimulation, ...etc
      Doing "other things" short of intercourse?

      If the answer is "no" to all of the above you may be with a #1.
      Anyone who finds it "easy" to go without probably has a low libido.

      When they do have sex it will be as a "favor", "reward" or seen as a "duty".
      Eventually someone who lays down and says "Knock yourself out!" won't be enough to satisfy you. Most men & women need to feel desired!
      The male ego also has a need to believe the man is a "great lover".
      Women know this and it's why some elect to "fake it".

      Personally I have never dated someone without having sex fairly early on. Every "serious relationship" I have ever had began as something casual and "evolved" into something serious. You can't "force" it to be serious.

      Sometimes after "the wait" if the chemistry isn't there or it was just a flat out disappointment a person may walk away. This usually leads to the old cliché of: "Once he got {what he wanted} he disappeared."

      Maybe the reality is {he DIDN'T get what he wanted} or hoped for!
      Very few people ask for "seconds" of a bad tasting meal.

      The person holding out may hope if it's not good you won't just walk away since you would have established an "emotional connection".

      Odds are if there's an incompatibility you'll make an "effort" to work on it.
      Where as if you knew (early on) it wasn't great you'd lose their number.
      Ultimately all relationships are a gamble whether you have sex or not.

      I've never played the "calendar" game. I live "in the moment".

      If two people don't want the same things there's a good chance they are probably wrong for one another. Generally people don't "change".

      It's the individual traits of the person that determines where the relationship goes and not how soon one has sex in my opinion. I have had several relationships that lasted for years after having sex the first night.

      1. Castlepaloma profile image75
        Castlepalomaposted 14 months agoin reply to this

        Some good points.

        The way she kisses and touches, I don't think it's her libido. We both feel sex is spiritual or sacred. She said, we could go to a hotel and do it, yet she feels, not ready. I could be just over thinking the whole thing, or she feels insecure about holding on to a slow growing relationships with me. Plus busy time for her in her bussiness.

        She has been married for 32 years and had 5 sexual contacts in her lifetime and I about 35. I took 5 dates to find out she is not age 52, her true age is age 60 on her drivers ID.

    2. Marisa Wright profile image97
      Marisa Wrightposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      I think most women would say sex is hollow without love, but many would say that it's possible to have love without sex. 

      I think if you are in a fairly committed relationship and your partner is still holding out on having sex, I would be having a conversation about it.  Say that in most previous relationships, you would be having sex by now and you respect her right to say "no", but you'd like to know why. 

      My concern would be that perhaps she's not that interested in sex.   There are millions of people in the world with a low sex drive - and many of them are older women.  As the level of oestrogen drops, sex drive often drops with it.  A major source of distress for some women around menopause is a total loss of libido.   It's not universal by any means but it's common enough that it's worth wondering about!

      1. Castlepaloma profile image75
        Castlepalomaposted 14 months agoin reply to this

        Good thing, nobody knows my name on hubpages. So I am free to say.

        She jokes about masterbating a lot. She lied about her age, I hope she is not lying about that. She states she is a hopeless romantic, I am a hopeful romantic. We are on the same page as romantic love is far more important than religion or politics.

        1. Marisa Wright profile image97
          Marisa Wrightposted 14 months agoin reply to this

          There are plenty of women aged 60 who are still keen on sex.  However, in your shoes I would be concerned.

          Do you know how long it's been since she had sex?  If it's been a while, no doubt she's pleasuring herself because she misses it.  However once you get together and sex is available on tap, it could still mean she's a once a fortnight girl and if you're a three times a week guy that will be a problem.

          1. Castlepaloma profile image75
            Castlepalomaposted 14 months agoin reply to this

            Sex once to 3 times a week,  would be great.
            Once every 2 to 4 weeks, not so good.

            That would be a good question to ask her?  What a awkward ? to ask, each woman when newly dating. Yet, really important or I"m wasting my time.

        2. Kathryn L Hill profile image79
          Kathryn L Hillposted 14 months agoin reply to this

          Move on CP, move on.

          1. Castlepaloma profile image75
            Castlepalomaposted 14 months agoin reply to this

            Nobody can everrr..take the hand... of my God.

            That is your Song.

            1. Kathryn L Hill profile image79
              Kathryn L Hillposted 14 months agoin reply to this

              move on, CP! you know you want to!!!

  5. profile image60
    Oliver Asamoahposted 14 months ago

    great

    1. Castlepaloma profile image75
      Castlepalomaposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      A fairytales of being in love and worshiping her and the Sun. Has a much better chance of coming true than  Religión and Politic fairytales/legends making the world more beautiful.

  6. Castlepaloma profile image75
    Castlepalomaposted 14 months ago

    I want to be free to go anywhere I want to. The ultimate love is Romantic. Religious fairytales and Political legends sovles nothing or creates more harm than good.
    You move on, I am here to share real love and many kinds of love.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)