Should I move on from my ex to a new relationship?
My ex and I were together for five years. We have three beautiful children together. Shortly after I became pregnant with our third child he became distant and started talking to one of our mutual female friends daily, more than he even spoke to me. We seperated and he moved in with our friend and they started a relationship. its been a year he claims to love me and now want our family back but still lives with the other girl. I will always love him and there will always be a aprt of me that will never let him go. but I have an amazing man being so patient with me. please help me im so lost...
It sounds like a complicated story and I can understand why you are lost. My advice is: ask him for actions, not for words. If he loves you, if he wants to be with you, he needs to win you back. He needs to move out and actually do something to prove you he means it. Because if you have such a decent man with you right now, you shouldn't leave it all behind unless you're certain it will work this time.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it sounds like you may need to move on my dear. If he has left you and your babies to move in with a mutual "friend" then it sounds like that's where his heart is. BUT...I strongly caution you against using the term mutual friend. No real friend would ever entertain the idea of being with your man. You have got to know that she did not mean you any good. At this point you need to focus on your children and try to co-parent with him. It sounds like that relationship has done a lot of damage so you should perhaps take some time to allow your heart to heal. Allowing him to play back and forth is only going to prove more hurtful to you. You have to create some boundaries and stick with them. You deserve to be with someone that wants to be with ONLY you, not a man who is playing mind games and trying to play the field with "friends." That said, we can give you all the good advice in the world but at the end of the day you have to want better for yourself.
You stated; "I have an amazing man being so patient with me..." Your ex dumped you, moved in with one of your friends....etc I have to wonder why you would even ask if you should move on. The only thing I can surmise is you are not "in love" with your "amazing man".
I suppose it’s human nature to place more value on things we have to “earn”, compete for, or lost, than those things which are given to us freely. We also tend to romanticize our past as time goes on. It wasn't as great as you remember it being.
An ex is an ex for a reason and it’s usually a good reason!
In order for him to be “the one” he would have had to see you as being “the one” and would still be with you. I think you are fortunate to have an “amazing man” who wants to be with a woman that has three young children. I don’t see how you would even consider trading him for the man who cheated on you with a "friend" and walked away from his own children. A man who tells you he wants you but he is (also in love with another woman) is most likely looking for a “booty call” or “friends with benefits” arrangement with you.
There is no sense in becoming a human yo-yo for your ex.
Take down your rear view mirror. Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you!
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