The ex boyfriend has now become friends with your good girlfriend. Is it possibl

Jump to Last Post 1-8 of 8 discussions (8 posts)
  1. Blondy2 profile image56
    Blondy2posted 9 years ago

    The ex boyfriend has now become friends with your good girlfriend. Is it possible to be friends?

    I am trying to get over my ex boyfriend but now he has become friends with a good friend of mine, who I see on a frequent basis and we share a larger circle of friends among us so that makes it a little uncomfortable.  I know they would not do anything to hurt me but I am having a hard time dealing with this. I am distancing myself from the ex but with my girlfriend it is hard b/c I see her on a frequent basis and we share a larger circle of friends among us.  I don't want to feel like the jealous crazy girl. Any advice? And is itpossible to remain friends? When I see her I see him.

  2. stricktlydating profile image84
    stricktlydatingposted 9 years ago

    In this situation most woman in your situation would feel awful!  Here's some suggestions about what you could do.  Talk to your girlfriend about it, when it's just the two of you, be open about it and say that you don't want to seem gelous, but since you're trying to get over him, it makes you feel awkward at the moment because it seems like she's becoming good friends with him since you broke up.  If she's a true friend, she'll listen and respect your feelings, as she might not even be aware that she's appearing this way to you, she may even think you've long gotton over him.  So long as you are open and honest about it, it should go over okay (you don't want to appear like you're picking on her).  If you are still in contact with your ex, you could also say somthing similar to him.  Other than that what you're already doing by trying to distance yourself from both of them sounds like a good idea at this stage, until your feelings for your ex have more time to resolve.

  3. tanay253 profile image55
    tanay253posted 9 years ago

    You are in a awkard situation trying to forget your Ex but on the contrary he peeps on before you .Now the only alternative is to discuss this matter with your friends and make sure they dont take it otherwise.Maintain a distance where your Ex drops in.

  4. Poetry Chick profile image61
    Poetry Chickposted 9 years ago

    I understand where you are coming from, and I agree with the others. You HAVE to talk to your friend and let her know what is going on. In a way though, you cannot control seeing him with her because you cannot expect her to just not be near him when near you, but yes it is possible to remain friends once the wounds heal.

    Talk to your friend and maybe together you two can work out a way to hang out while respecting eachother's feelings. Also, did he become friend's with her just to get back at you!? You arnt going to heal if you keep dwelling on the past. I know it hurts but maybe seeing him from time to time helps heal you, but maybe you also need closure to fully heal!

  5. debugs profile image61
    debugsposted 8 years ago

    Yes why not? Unless your ex has done a terribly wrong thing -- like abused you, stole from you, threatened to kill you, stole your dog/cat; or any crime against you (or the state btw), I see no reason why two adults can't be friends. Some ex boyfriends get to be BETTER friends than lovers!

  6. NiaLee profile image61
    NiaLeeposted 6 years ago

    It depends on how the relationship ended and why. I personally will step away from everybody if things are shady or awkward...because sometimes girlfriend like ex, or ex likes girlfriend and we don't need to witness that story...
    for one thing, do what puts you at peace, does he want you back? does she want him? does he want her? are you comfortable with those???
    These are the questions!

  7. Blondy2 profile image56
    Blondy2posted 6 years ago

    I am happy to say that I am over that loser and her. We are not friends, just acquaintances since we share a large circle of friends.  She still makes me sick for what she did, but...  A person that treats someone like that does not deserve my friendship...and their relationship only lasted a few months so all good happens for a reason!

  8. crickette_w profile image68
    crickette_wposted 5 years ago

    I wanted to answer this question even though it was along time ago...Now that it's been awhile I do hope you have realized a more self perserving approach....

    This isn't about him and it wasn't about her...It was about the feelings you were allowing yourself to feel...

    Keep in mind....we "allow" our lives to happen as they do...If we are happy, sad, jealous, mad and etc...it's what we are allowing and welcoming in ourselves....

    If you look at it like this, we should never want someone so bad that if they don't want us or who we are that we shutter and fall...If someone doesn't want to be with us it is good they tell us....during the honeymoon time of a relationship we tend to not look at how the other is feeling, just what we are doing for them and allowing ourselves to become dependant on the feelings we have for them....

    The most important thing to have, is a partner who looks at us with the sparkle in his eyes even if we don't look our best...there is someone out there for all of us if we wait.....lonely isn't lonely...most the time we don't know ourselves well enough to have a relationship that is healthy...if a man doesn't want to be with us, it shouldn't matter who he is with...we just know we don't want him....the act of courting is getting to know someone to see if we can spend our lives with them...If the man and you decide you two can't make it, maybe the friend would be a lifetime match...and they tried it from what I am reading in your comments...

    You my dear are the important one, being upset or worried that an ex is with someone else if you think about it should be a relief...we want our "friends" to be happy...It is easier to have a break up be calm and smooth and remain friends on a certain level...why is this....just because you don't make it now, someday through maturity, you might be a match...second, holding animosity for anyone inside us doesn't hurt them it hurts us, and third of all, it's not what happens to us in life that shows our character, it's how we handle what happens to us...
    huggs...and glad you were able to move past this...

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)