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Is it normal for an ex husband to call ex wife about new relationship problems?
Is there certain protocol for being divorced? My ex- husband is still calling me when he needs to talk about his problems. I don't really mind but it seems weird. Normally we talk about NOTHING other than the children. What is the proper way of dealing with an ex like this?
You are his only friend, the only one he can talk to. What you have to do is decide if you want to be his only friend or you don't. If you don't want this kind of relationship when he calls you can say something like;
"Johnny, I have to go, meeting a friend for drinks." ---
If he calls late you don't answer and the next day say -- "I was busy.."
Make him understand that you have a social life.
if you skip a few calls; don't answer the ring, lock off the phone, etc. and then cut any conversation that turns to his private life off quickly, this will end.
I personally think you should tell him you cannot be involved in his love life. Being divorced means you both move on and find other "best" friends you talk to about those things. I have an ex and no way would I ever talk to him about anything personal like that..He has his life and I have mine.
I think if you can handle it, then it's okay, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you need to tell him that and ask that he takes his problems elsewhere. If you don't feel comfortable about it, then don't feel bad about it - it's the way you feel and you are allowed to feel whatever way you want.
I think that you should tell him that it is weird to you, and that maybe you do not feel comfortable at this time discussing his new relationships with him. Sooner or later, I think that if you give him constructive criticism about his relationships, it could backfire on you. Therefore, I would not advise him on anything about his new relationship. I hope I could be of some help. Good luck!
I tend to think that there aren't good protocols for anything in life, especially the messy stuff. My theory is just go with what works. If your concern is that he should essentially move-on than that seems worth discussing with him, but you can do it in a way that is based upon you being concerned for him rather than you are just trying to cut him off. There isn't any reason for Exes not to remain good friends, but if that is something you do not want to do indefinitely than you should let him know. You may be the only one he has to discuss some of these issues with. My best friend is an Ex, and she is still the only one I ever talk to about many issues.
You are able to be friends and he is comfortable confiding in you in that way. There is nothing wrong with that. Some times marriages don't end well and the parents fight all of the time, even more after the divorce so you are one of the luck ones.
Look at it that way!
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