Do you think it is normal for your inlaws to be friends with your husband's ex?

1. 59

   krystalsmithposted 14 years ago

   Do you think it is normal for your inlaws to be friends with your husband's ex?
   
   If it's normal...any suggestions on how to deal with it? And just for background the only reason anyone in his family knows her is because of them dating-  they never married and prior to the breakup his family had met her 2-3 times, max.

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2. 60

   lilibeesposted 14 years ago

   No I do not nor do I think its ok for them to be friends with any other person they met through me while we were together.

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3. 60

   Lovesloveposted 14 years ago

   My Husbands Ex wife always sent his parents Christmas cards and  birthday cards .....she sent flowers when they died..so what !! it didnt bother me.

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4. 61

   duffsmomposted 14 years ago

   If you are secure in your relationship with your husband--who cares if they are friends?  Be sure of your own marriage--you can't control who other people have as friends.  If your relationship is strong, she is no threat to you.

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5. 68

   Josh and Lindseyposted 14 years ago

   While unusual considering how few times they met prior to the break up, there's nothing wrong with it.  It sounds as if their relationship with her is separate from their relationship with your husband and you.  As long as they don't invite her to family events or lament that your husband didn't marry her, don't let it bother you.  When you find someone you connect with and want to be friends with, you shouldn't have to break off that friendship just because another relationship ends.

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6. 0

   Old Empresarioposted 14 years ago

   My family continued to be friends with my ex wife even after I re-married. My new wife was upset, but there was nothing I could do about it. What wives need to understand is that husbands cannot be expected to control their familes or their ex wives. If they could control them, they probably would not have been divorced in the first place. I did eventually talk to my family about it and they understood and stopped talking to my ex.

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7. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 14 years ago

   It's one of those things you have no control over so you may as well just let it go. For whatever reason two personalities get together and they hit it off regardless as to what happens between their son/daughter and the ex.
   Maybe his parents address a paternal need she never received from her own parents.
   As long as your husband has no interest in his ex there is no threat. You are not in a competition. (You got the man and the ring)

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8. 52

   Marshall Squawposted 10 years ago

   Every situation is different. I don't believe anything with in-laws is normal. I think that if they are friends with the ex that's fine but they should be considerate and respectful of you, your feelings and the fact that you are currently the one doing the work in the family relationship. If they obviously treat the ex more like family than they treat you, then there could be a problem. If they ignore you, rub it in your face all the time about how wonderful the ex is, and treat you like you are insignificant, then that's rude and inconsiderate and they are not respecting you or your relationship with their family member. It is their behavior that creates problems between you and the ex, and then they will criticize you if you don't appreciate being snubbed in favor of an ex. There are some people who are so mean and rude to do this. I know. If the in-laws were considerate and treated you appropriately like family, and the ex appropriately as a friend, then there wouldn't be a problem that I could see. But when they treat the ex like family, and treat you like dirt, there is definitely a big problem.

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