Why is it so hard to understand that forgiveness does not mean you will still be

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   viveresperandoposted 11 years ago

   Why is it so hard to understand that forgiveness does not mean you will still be a part of my life?
   
   I can forgive people, but I have no need, inclination, or want to keep them in my life.  Do you feel the same?  Do you believe with forgiveness automatic trust comes with it?

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   Attikosposted 11 years ago

   The rule, or at least the one that has worked best for me, is forgive, but don't forget. Forgiveness does not require masochism.

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      viveresperandoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I like to forgive, forget, and don't want you in my life, lol.

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   I absolutely agree with you! Forgiveness does not equal forgetfulness or automatic second chances.
   Forgiveness is a gift a person gives to them self. It's a decisiion to no longer dwell on something negative and mentally move on. As you stated it does not mean you have to continue a relationship with the person who hurt or betrayed you.

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      viveresperandoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Do you think that maybe when people or hurt you there is the ones that won't go away and then there is the ones that know they did wrong and stay away... lol?

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   joanwzposted 11 years ago

   I do agree with you. i have been in the position of having to forgime someone that I did not want back in my life. She didn't understand that concept. She couldn't understand that I needed to forgive her for my own sanity, and that, for my own sanity, I really couldn't continue to keep her around in my life.
   
   With some people and under some circumstances, forgiveness does mean a rekindling of trust. But there are times, and people, that forgiveness will not fix the trust issues. Even time won't fix the trust issues. Those are the times you have to forgive to save your own soul and peace of mind, and still feel theneed to let hem go.

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      viveresperandoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I love the way you expressed it.  Forgiveness does not "rekindle trust".

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   Rosana Modugnoposted 11 years ago

   I totally agree with you.  It's like saying, we are related;  I love you but I don't like you as a person.  It's true.  And forgiveness is a real problem with me.  I do not forgive well.  I'm a real bitch when it comes to vendetta.  But I'm toning it down for the holidays, promise.
   
   I think there is no "automatic" anything that comes with anything unless you allow it.  There is no written rule or law that tells you how to be human, unless you believe in Moses.  But that's another subject.
   
   Personally, I have always had my doubts about the burning bush so I say do what you want and don't worry about anyone else.  It's your life.  If they can't handle your truth, your opinion, your way of thinking, it is not your issue, it's theirs, so why waste time thinking about it?  You're wasting writing energy you could be using for your next great hub! 

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      viveresperandoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I know the way I think.  I also know that we do not all think alike.  I like fiction writing, getting different perspectives on one subject helps me build different characters with different points of view for a story.

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