When is it time to let a friendship go if your friendship has been for 15 years?

1. 51

   abbykorinneleeposted 11 years ago

   When is it time to let a friendship go if your friendship has been for 15 years?
   
   What kind of situations are appropriate for walking away from a friendship that has a lot of personal investment into it?  Are there times when you turn the other cheeck and give them the benefit o f the doubt?

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2. 69

   cloverleaffarmposted 11 years ago

   I have had a friend for 42 years. We've known each other since we were 6. We did everything together, including have kids 2 months apart. Our lives took a different path, but we always remained friends. While she did drugs, I stood beside her and helped her out of it. When she lost her baby, I was there for her. When she got HIV, I cried with her. She too was there for me. When my first marriage fell apart, she pulled me back out of the pit of despair. When I got sick, she drove 6 hours round trip just to be with me.
   We don't have much in common now, but we have a childhood of memories, and that is something I am not willing to throw away because our lives are different.

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   1. 51

      abbykorinneleeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think I just lost mine and I don't have a clue to why.

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3. 85

   grand old ladyposted 11 years ago

   I think it is very hard to work with a friend. I have heard many stories of friends who worked together, and their friendship ended because of the working relationship. I think it also depends on the friends. I became very close to an old friend that I had worked with. Our working relationship was one of the most fun times ever, we had so many laughing sprees and pranks and stuff. So it depends on the people as well, but it is often said that working with a friend can destroy a friendship and I think that is true.

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   1. 51

      abbykorinneleeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I lost a friend I worked with because we had to fire her for using a manager code without authorization and the product being checked in without it really being there.  We knew she would bring it back but we had internal loss prevention issues, awful

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4. 51

   abbykorinneleeposted 11 years ago

   I learned recently that I didn't think it was time to let a friendship go.  It had been 15 years and nothing until recently that stood in its way and I confronted them in person and realized after a little blow out that it was something that I did for the last six months and didn't realize I was doing it.  Sometimes we need to realize how our words and how we say them can affect someone else and it being text, we can't always know the context.  What I said was taken out of context in that situation but through it all I learned to accept fault when it was due and to back off in order to fix myself.
   
   However, I also learned that I know when to let a friendship go as I have just done with another friend I have known since I was 13.  I need a friendship that is a two way street.  Not one where I am there for them and they aren't for me so I will always be there in a crisis but I can't be there daily like I wanted to.  I need those in my life that love me unconditionally too and sometimes we use the ones that are the most giving friendships.  I will cherish what used to be and let go of the past.

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5. 69

   ienjoythisposted 11 years ago

   Unless someone has done something to hurt you and make you feel disrespected, you don't have to pursue an "end" to a friendship. The dynamics may change - less contact, more formal, so on.. But you do not need to end a friendship. Just accept that the dynamics may change naturally.

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