Can a straight woman and a straight man be friends??

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  1. ahostagesituation profile image80
    ahostagesituationposted 13 years ago

    Can a straight woman and a straight man be friends??

    I'm always hoping the answer to this question is yes, since I have had, and have straight guy friends...but I've also had drama having guy friends.  I had the craziest sex dream about one of my guy friends a couple of weeks ago, and I can't believe how much it has thrown me off!  I'm now being weird around him, and wondering when I signed up for a second round of high school??

  2. theseus profile image73
    theseusposted 13 years ago

    personally, yes. I believe that a straight girl can have a platonic friendship with a straight guy. I should know because my bestfriend is a very straight, drop-dead handsome guy. our secret? respect and compromise.

  3. Tusitala Tom profile image69
    Tusitala Tomposted 13 years ago

    To me this seems a strange question.   As roughly half the people in the world are male, if you are female and cannot form a platonic (non-sexual) friendship with any of them, you're in real trouble.    Homosexual people are in the minority not the majority.   But whatever a person's sexuality, it should not make a difference to whether you like them or not.  A friend is a friend.

  4. ahostagesituation profile image80
    ahostagesituationposted 13 years ago it.  I think the fact that I trust him, and respect what he has to say is probably the deal.  We've been friends for a while, and in and out of relationships he's my go-to guy.
    Tusitala Tom, I have a good amount of male friends and always have, but I think you might be right about the question.  The better question is probably how close is too close in a hetero male/female relationship?  In essence, if I have a close platonic male friend--how much can I go to my go-to guy? The question is also more emotional than sexual--I can keep my pants on--but both are worthy factors.  Thanks for your answers! And this is a weird ending to a very weird day.

  5. TopManagement profile image40
    TopManagementposted 13 years ago

    Ya sure straight woman and  man can be good friends.
    My friend is very straight but i like her she is like me.

  6. drvosjeca profile image60
    drvosjecaposted 13 years ago

    They can be friends, but there is always flame to burn which can be started from a single spark...

  7. dashingscorpio profile image82
    dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

    Yes, I believe a straight man and straight woman can be friends but it's rare. They would have to be either completely not each other's types (no physical attraction) or they have become a sort of (play brother/play sister) over the years.

    One of the "When Harry Met Sally" moments comes when two friends realize everything they want in a mate is what they have with their friend. A more recent movie that dealt with this issue is "Maid Of Honor" starring Patrick Dempsey.
    The two friends in the movie know what to order off the menu for each other, enjoy doing the same things, give each other advice about the opposite sex...etc It's not until the woman is about to get married that the guy realizes his friend is his "soul-mate".

    We tend to open up and tell our friends everything which creates a certain amount of intimacy and trust which is often lacking in our relationships. It's not unusual for people to fall in love with their shrink, doctor, mentor, or anyone they confide in deeply. There is a bridge of trust and understanding  built between you.

    The first sign that things are changing is when it bothers you to hear your "friend's" dating or sex exploits with someone else.

  8. profile image0
    reeltaulkposted 13 years ago

    why not, anything is possible, especially if you want it to be that way.  Dreams can be funny, you could have dreamt about the way he feels about you.  I don't know, I'm just, saying especially if you didn't feel a way about him prior to having the dream.  If you start acting funny around him or treat him a certain way outside of what you've been doing, he's gonna think you're weird.  You can either do two things, jokingly talk about it or leave it right where you found it, in your dream.  The only reason it would have an effect on you is if it is true.  If it isn't then why feel a way!

  9. C.V.Rajan profile image60
    C.V.Rajanposted 13 years ago

    So, it is obvious that deep withing out minds there are tendencies that can make straight things crooked!

  10. Iontach profile image68
    Iontachposted 13 years ago

    Yes they can be friends but their minds, at some point, will begin to wander and think sexual thoughts of each other. It always happens!
    Maybe that's why girls like GBFs, Gay best friends, and a lot of men just hang around with other men...

  11. Curtis Aron profile image69
    Curtis Aronposted 13 years ago

    I would have to answer yes because in the past I have been friends with a straight woman.  It worked well for me that time, but I have to admit that there have been many other times when what began as a friendship ended up becoming something else.

  12. lostdogrwd profile image61
    lostdogrwdposted 13 years ago

    yes when the man try to hit on the woman and she said no but we can be friend then they friend until she give him the chance. men LOVE TO SEX THERE WOMEN FRIENDS

  13. Poethepoet profile image68
    Poethepoetposted 13 years ago

    It's not the most advisable thing to do.

  14. Bel Marshall profile image60
    Bel Marshallposted 13 years ago

    One of my very best friends is a straight guy.  I love him, adore him, have been known to sit on the phone with him until insane hours and we both agree we wouldn't touch the other with someone else's body parts.  Friends yes, friends with intimate benefits?  NO WAY!

  15. mikegws profile image61
    mikegwsposted 13 years ago

    I'm not sure anymore.  I had a bunch of friends in college who I considered "just friends" but now that I'm married I'm not sure that I could go back to hanging out with them.

    My wouldn't mind - she actually has met and likes them but it would feel strange going out to a bar and knocking back a few beers with one of them.

    And I keep in touch with all of my male college friends just fine.

  16. Right On Time profile image59
    Right On Timeposted 13 years ago

    sure and attraction is fine. Enjoy being around attractive ppl, gay or straight

  17. neeleshkulkarni profile image40
    neeleshkulkarniposted 13 years ago

    yes they sure can be friends.the sexual undercurrent will of course always be there but it is upto the persons to control them.I am blessed with the friendship of many women and it would be false to say there are no sexual undercurrents would be to lie  but yet they are always under control and actually filed away in a corner of the mind and never allowed to come out firstly because I already love my spouse and would like to let nothing come between the two of us and also because that friendship would als0 be lost if this attraction ever became overt.
    also that there is a sexual undercurrent is not something which meas we want to take it the next level of physical contact or sex. it is good where it is ad as it is- and  we remain therfore just friends

  18. profile image52
    crazydaisyposted 13 years ago

    Honestly, it depends how Hot the straight woman is.  Straight men will always want to go to a higher level with a Hot woman and will be willing to lose the friendship over it.  He might not have tried it yet, but he's biding his time to strike.  Although the opposite is not true.  A hot straight man can have many average straight girl friends.

  19. tinaweha profile image59
    tinawehaposted 13 years ago

    No. I don't believe that they can be close friends.  They can be aquaintances, like at work or school, but once you become really close to a guy he will always think you are hitting on him even when you aren't.

    Actually, there was a study that said that guys almost always think that the girl is hitting on them, unless they don't think the girl/woman is attractive. It's just the way that guys are wired.

    I suppose you might be the exception to the rule.

  20. Marie-Renee profile image80
    Marie-Reneeposted 13 years ago

    I do believe a straight man and woman can be friends but not only is it rare like dashingscorpio said but it is hard to understand in our society. We have made the distinction on friendship when in fact there shouldn’t be any...friends are friends, no matter what the gender is.

    In my case, I have had male and female friends. There are things that you can easily open up with a woman but then there are times men friends are what you need. They have different views, they see things differently and thus they give different advices. So I don’t burn bridges, I make sure I have both men and women friends.

    The only thing you ought to make sure is that if you, or both of you, are in a relationship, your partners should understand the friendship so there are no complications. But I do believe the best relationship is when your best friend is also your partner or your partner is also your best friend.

  21. mtalbot2987 profile image66
    mtalbot2987posted 13 years ago

    There have been some answers to this question that suggests that men are incapable of having an intimate relationship with a woman that doesn't involve sex. I have a Girlfriend and I have female friends. If my female friends came on to me I wouldn't sleep with them. I'm not attracted to my female friends like that. I don't like the assumption that just because I am a man, I want to sleep with everything that I see.

  22. Ashantina profile image60
    Ashantinaposted 13 years ago

    But as we well know sometimes, as in your scenario.. things can change, due to the physiological and chemical dynamics of the male and female humanoid smile lol.
    I think as a woman, you kind of expect to be 'hit on' from a guy friend at the early stages and if he doesn't, well then he's a friend in my book.
    I think the best relationships evolve from friendship.

  23. MattWritesStuff profile image92
    MattWritesStuffposted 13 years ago

    Of course you can. I have plenty of female friends with whom I've never entertained any notions past friendship. Hell, most of my friends in college were girls, and I wound up drawing a girlfriend from a different school altogether.

    As for the sex dreams thing, well, that sort of weirdness does happen from time to time. You've just got to shake it off and move on. It may mean something, true, but it may mean nothing at all.

  24. mickochifang profile image60
    mickochifangposted 13 years ago

    Of, course, even though it may put you off sometimes, like in your dream, its okay, most of my best friends are guys because the girls i know gossip all day, and alot of times get into fights, that i have to stop. Mostly because i have no part in the fight and im tough.Basicly its okay to have a guy friend sometimes they can be better that your women friends.

  25. sharlinne profile image55
    sharlinneposted 13 years ago

    of course i dont see why not. All though a lot of people may think that the relationship will change or become (phisical) once a line is crossed.

  26. s.wilson profile image61
    s.wilsonposted 13 years ago

    Anyone can be friends with anyone they chose.  I am a straight guy that has many straight female friends, due to the field I work in.  I speak with them outside the workplace on a regular basis, and it has never been an issue.

    The biggest hurdle most male-female friendships have are the jealousy issue from a partner, be it a spouse or a girlfriend/boyfriend.  To combat this problem, I try and include my girlfriend and my friends' boyfriends with some of our activities, even if it is having coffee or going to a movie.  This helps establish that I am not seeking any type of relationship with my friend, other than a platonic one.  If the jealousy issue continues, it becomes a whole different ballgame, as there is usually more going on there.

  27. jzepess profile image61
    jzepessposted 13 years ago

    I think a friendship between a straight man and straight woman is inherently unstable.  The more attraction there is, the more unstable it becomes.

    The instability is cured by one of two things: 
    1.  They become acquaintances, maintaining a secure distance where they can communicate but not get too close
    2. They fall into a deeper relationship that usually involves physical contact.

  28. claudineee <3 profile image60
    claudineee <3posted 13 years ago

    i think yes you can be friends but i doubt you could stay friends if you guys become closer like bestfriends. it's just impossible to stay friends when you start knowing a person better than you know yourself.

    set limitations. like lessen the times when there's no one else around but you two.

  29. profile image0
    cillamposted 13 years ago

    Of course it's possible and espcially if you know where the line is between you both.

  30. profile image0
    Charlinexposted 13 years ago

    Yes, I have many good friends from the opposit sex. If the friendship is genuine, even though there may be attractions from either one or both, you and your friend will always respect each other's wish with understanding and keep the friendship.

    A great relationship should be based on a great friendship to begin with.

  31. glowingrocks profile image61
    glowingrocksposted 13 years ago

    Interesting reading this thread.Seems like the younger folks are saying yes and the older folks no, percentage wise.Hum maybe wise those older folk?

  32. Loves to Write profile image58
    Loves to Writeposted 13 years ago

    My sister and my husband are friends so obviously they can be. In addition to that, I consider both of my husband's brothers to be friends so yeah, it's definitely possible.

  33. Julie Logan profile image61
    Julie Loganposted 13 years ago

    It seems obvious to me that they can be.

    Do those of you saying no really have zero friends of the opposite sex? What about your friend's spouses? Or your spouses friends? Or your parents friends? Other parents of kids who go to school with your kids? Kids that you may have babysat as a teenager who are now adults? What about coworkers?

    Some of you really have no friends of the opposite sex? I find that hard to believe.

  34. diogenes profile image70
    diogenesposted 13 years ago

    Maybe.  I am sure that many say they are friends.  I have had no luck with opposite sex friends.  Women are such a mystery for men!  (and the reverse perhaps).  Many women like to organize their lives into little boxes and if you are prepared to fit into one of those, maybe you can be friends.  But if you are ex lovers, sex always rears it's head in some way. 
    Nothing lasts, does it?  Love, friendship - life itself.  Especially as one ages.  Psyches say people don't bond after a certain age and I have found that to be true...maybe 40-ish. 
    This whole Facebook thing amuses and saddens me...all these "friends."  What bull it all is; if man gets two or three true friends in a lifetime he/she is doing well.  We are all such individual little universes with all the rest revolving around us!   Bob

  35. Liv Senstad profile image60
    Liv Senstadposted 13 years ago

    Of course- -why not? Men and women can have common interests and enjoying each other’s company without being romantic involved. I don't at all see the difference hanging out with a good lady friend or a good gentleman friend. Enjoy your friendships!

  36. LeeWalls profile image60
    LeeWallsposted 12 years ago

    If you don't see each other as nothing more than a friend I don't see what the problem is, if you start romantizing, the situation will get complicated. I think it's better to have a good male friend or female friend than to try to make more of it then break up and you've lost both.

    Stop thinking crazy things during the day and wind up having those dreams at night. You're going to be more confused and get yourself in trouble.

  37. john.jackson profile image68
    john.jacksonposted 12 years ago

    In short, I think no. There never seems to be the need to have another male/female influence in your life, when you have a strong relationship. That does not be any stretch mean no friends, but a straight man and a straight woman can begin to build up sexual tension if they are very good friends.

    However, I am a man and therefore I am bound to say no, as men are bound to feel jealousy and insecurity over other men who are close to their partner. But also, it is never a good idea to have a best friend of the opposite sex when in a relationship with someone else. I have experienced this myself. I felt undermined, second priority and a slight lack of privacy. I say this because, being a best friend, the girl can share all her problems with the relationship and may also show more attention and talk more to the guy, therefore creating jealousy. I would say you should never underestimate the jealousy of your counterpart in a relationship.

  38. stariswhoiam profile image60
    stariswhoiamposted 12 years ago

    Yes, why not?
    There could be constraints that come along though...
    depending on who the two people are...
    like maybe someone ends up getting horny and says something dirty to the other person and it gets uncomfortable...
    or maybe one person has a crush on the other but it's not returned... when the person finds out the other person doesn't like them back, a friend could be lost because the person avoids the other person so they can move on....
    but those are just possiblities...
    there's nothing wrong with a guy and girl being friends.
    I find it really hard to be friends with guys though, cuz the majority of guys that I end up talking to for a significant amount of time, I either hear from someone that they like me or from the people themselves. I don't return the feelings so some of them don't talk to me as much, & I end up losing friends.
    I don't really talk to that many guys though. Even so, most of the guys that I've been friends with (not just SLIGHTLYYYYY friends with) I end up hearing like me, I find it weird that it has happened that way.


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