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How do you deal with judgement for doing something that is not the norm?

  1. midget38 profile image93
    midget38posted 5 years ago

    How do you deal with judgement for doing something that is not the norm?

  2. Millionaire Tips profile image92
    Millionaire Tipsposted 5 years ago

    It depends on what I am doing that is not the norm.  If it is something that is a positive thing for me, and enhances my life, then I can pretty much ignore what other people say about it.

    If it is neutral or negative, I think it is in my best interest to consider the alternatives.

  3. fpherj48 profile image77
    fpherj48posted 5 years ago

    Not the norm?   Since you have not given an example, midget, in order to respond to your question with an organized thought,  I'll suggest an example.  I hope I stay on the page you'd like.
    I'll take the word, "norm," here, to mean: standard, customary, traditional = the most widely recognized and accepted......is this OK?
    Let's say I am a devout Mormon and live in a plural marriage situation, now in 2013, in an ordinary town of America.....(Think, the T.V. Show, "Sister Wives," if familiar with it)   It's fair to say that this is "not the norm."
    The types and degrees of "judgement," can be enormous.  However, on the surface, I am not hurting anyone, nor infringing upon the rights of others, not soaking off the system, but self-supporting.  I am a good citizen, neighbor, wife and mother and live a quiet and productive life.
    Personally, I would understand that the public WILL judge, more than likely in a negative manner.  With my convictions being firm, feeling confident about my choices, and with much tolerance, my first reaction to judgmental behavior, would be to ignore it.  If necessary, I would offer a simple, calm statement to someone that my life situation is right and good for me and my family... and we have no desire nor need to alter our lives, for the sake of the opinions of others.
    I know that I would approach the issue of "being judged," (due to doing something out of the norm,) in much this same, matter-of-fact manner, as in the fictional scenario above.
    Should things become out of control, in terms of "judgement,"....go further as  in, harassment, insult and/or an attack of any kind.....I feel it would then require intervention by authorities....

    1. midget38 profile image93
      midget38posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, Paula, it's very ok and you hit the example right on the button. We don't need anyone's approval to live our lives the way we want!! Well put!!

  4. ChristinS profile image95
    ChristinSposted 5 years ago

    I've been "out of the norm" for a great deal of my life.  Initially, I used to feel pressured by others to conform or be more like how I was raised (religious family, ultra conservative, etc) That life didn't work for me.  I felt more miserable living up to the expectations of others, than I did dealing with the criticism of being who I am. 

    With age comes wisdom, and usually thicker skin.  Now in my late 30's I am very comfortable to be who I am and if others want to judge me for it that's on them.  If I've learned anything it's that we can't control the thoughts and opinions of others and we'll never please everyone.  It's very liberating to let go and be who you are.

    So long as you are a good citizen and aren't harming anyone - be yourself! The world needs more free thinkers and individualists - not less.

    1. midget38 profile image93
      midget38posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      And so agreed, Christin?

  5. web923 profile image61
    web923posted 5 years ago

    If we were raised in a tribe of cannibals, the norm would likely endorse your inviting a neighbor to a barbecue with the intent of having them as the main course. It's an extreme example to be sure, but from the perspective of the cannibal its not extreme or out of the ordinary. In my opinion it's wise to entertain other peoples opinions but when their opinion crosses over into the realm of judgement... throw it back over fence. If your "something" isn't hurting someone else, then others should leave it alone. The good book says "Judge not!" and for good reason. Humans don't and can't see every little detail, therefore we can't ever be sure that our judgement is 100% sound.

    1. midget38 profile image93
      midget38posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      And we have no right to say if its right or wrong either. Thanks for sharing!