How would you know this is the right person that you love?

1. 60

   yin920posted 13 years ago

   How would you know this is the right person that you love?

   replyreport
   1. 60

      tantrumposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Because it seems right to love him/her.
      
      That's not a guarantee that things can get wrong

      replyreport
   2. 39

      d luckposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      if i say she is beauty when other people say she is ugly.
      
      that's the way i love someone and know that she is the right person for me.

      replyreport
   3. 74

      Himitsu Shugishaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      No advice here is going to be able to answer that question for you. However, a good starting point is looking yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself what makes you happy? And then look to the person that you have chosen to share your time with to see if they fit the needs in your life. If they do, they're the right person.

      replyreport
   4. 0

      LEWJposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You don't, really.   But time will surely tell....

      replyreport
2. 66

   C. M. Hoisingtonposted 13 years ago

   What does that mean "right person"?  You either love them or you don't, there's no right or wrong about it.  There is always risk in love, it is how we learn who we are.  Whatever you think is wrong with someone else is a hint as to what's wrong in you.

   replyreport
   1. 85

      KCC Big Countryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      What a great answer! We all hear that, but it's so hard to wrap your head around the concept of what you dislike (or like) in a person is the same thing you dislike (or like) in  yourself.  We always think we don't have those same traits.  It really takes some soul-searching to figure out.  Otherwise, most of us continue to make the same choices and end up with similar results and scratch our heads and wonder why.  LOL

      replyreport
      1. 66

         C. M. Hoisingtonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you, KCC Big Country.  I appreciate you encouragement.  I don't know that what we like or dislike in another is the same thing as what's in us, but it definately points in a direction.  The soul searching is right on, and not at all easy or without pain, but worth every moment.  I love your hub about kevin by the way.

         replyreport
   2. 60

      Stimpposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Oooooh....Good one.  I've always lived by your last sentence.

      replyreport
   3. 61

      Lisa HWposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Sometimes, though, what you think is wrong with the other person actually IS wrong with him/her. 
      
      I think a lot of us (being reasonable and realistic) think, "You can't expect someone to be perfect."  That's true, of course, but sometimes our tendency to overlook little signals that a relationship isn't quite what it should be can be a natural extension of that "you-can't-expect-perfect" thinking.  We end up with a good, nice, person in a relationship that seems good, nice, and maybe even almost perfect.  Trouble happens when something that was fundamentally missing right from the start gets magnified with time and troubles.  When the thing that was fundamentally missing was missing because the other person was "fundamentally missing it" as a person, that's the kind of thing that - really, if we're honest - was giving off signals right from the start, and that we ignored because we thought it was small thing and not worth ending the relationship over.
      
      So, speaking not a starry-eyed and idealistic twenty-two-year-old; and instead as someone who has learned the value of not ignoring signals when they're small; I truly believe that when it's truly "right" you have absolutely no gnawing, nagging, questions about whether it is or isn't.  You just know it is (at least if you're someone who knows what "right" includes).  That may not be a guarantee that it will be remain right forever, but I think if you have doubts the only outcome will be living with a "time bomb" that is certain to go off if/when the circumstances fall in place.  If the circumstances don't result in that "time bomb" going off people can often live with a not-entirely-"right" relationship; but I think the best chances of a relationship lasting forever come when both people are absolutely sure, without doubts, that it is absolutely right.  Someone once said to me, "Well, there are those relationships that are absolutely right, but if we all waited to find that a lot of us wouldn't be married or have kids."   I think she's right; which is why so many people overlook warning signals that all isn't quite right in the relationship, settle, and end up with those children they wanted but divorced.  I think when it's truly "right" you just know it.

      replyreport
3. 60

   Miss Belgraviaposted 13 years ago

   The best advice I can offer is to give it time. Lots of time. Get to know the other person's family and friends, and vice versa. The one-on-one romance only lasts so long, and then it has to endure in the context of your existing lives. You have to be friends, first and foremost, or the romance will never last. If you aren't satisfied with who the person is, and have a desire to change him or her, forget it. People may be able to change their behavior to some extent, but you cannot change a person's underlying personality. And if the other person is trying to change you, run away. Good luck! Romance is only for the brave, and I'm personally taking a break right now.

   replyreport
4. 56

   prettydarkhorseposted 13 years ago

   You know it when you become selfless with her/him. You always want the best for her, and you are trying to become the best too because of her.. it doesnt mean you love her more than yourself, the reason you would like to be the best is because you love yourself more, you want yourself to be happy by entertatinig the other ones happiness too...complicated isnt it? Love is complicated but it is the most powereful feeling,
   
   but the risk is always there, just be prepared for anything, enjoy it while it last, surely there is love forever too

   replyreport
5. 60

   K Partinposted 13 years ago

   You know when you get a warm fuzzy feeling inside, like I did 39 years ago, and still do!!

   replyreport
   1. 56

      prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Good for you Mr Partin,

      replyreport
   2. 60

      Stimpposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      And, I'm asking you this seriously...not mockingly.  How does one keep "that"?  How does one not get bored or whatever.  We are sitting here today, with no cash to go out and do anything together, I'm bugged cuz coffee wasn't made this a.m.  I know I love this person, I'm just so incredibly bored!!!!

      replyreport
6. 59

   terrowhiteposted 13 years ago

   I do not think personally that there is something right or wrong in teh person you love. you just fall in love with some person without thinking.. As the saying goes.. "love is blind" so it is.. there is no denying the fact that when you fall in love you measure teh person.. you just feel not compare him/her
   
   So it's a prompt feeling!

   replyreport
7. 61

   Frugal Fannyposted 13 years ago

   The way I see it is, you are mostly attracted to people who end up having a lot of the same or similar traits.  This includes the bad habits and the things that would generally piss you off.  If you truly love the person... you might still hate these bad habits, but you'll know that they really don't matter in the grander scheme. You accept them for all their faults, and they accept you right back.

   replyreport
8. 61

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   Habits are one thing.  Fundamental nature and emotional "quirks" (for lack of a more serious, appropriate word) are another.

   replyreport
   1. 59

      terrowhiteposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly

      replyreport
9. 65

   Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

   I believe that we should become the love that we seek. When we are able to become what we seek, like-minded people arrive in our lives at the appointed time they are supposed. I've seen this happen over and over.
   
   All you have is now. There is never a guarantee of everlasting love. But sometimes that's all it's supposed to be. Other times, it seems more lasting. Regardless, things happen because of the choices we make and by what we want in our lives. Because of this, I believe, changes in our lives occur constantly.

   replyreport